So hard

Just as we have images in our minds about poeple, so do the people have images about us in their minds.Often, it's the bad one...

It’s so hard to be what I really am

I get carried away by my own thoughts and feelings

Not knowing what I become

Not knowing what I do

I remain a shy and timid person

But just to show the world

I act bold

I act naughty

I act like I don’t give a damn to anything

But myself

I’m someone who talks as a friend

Who listens and tries to understand

Who makes her efforts to make others smile

But she ends up becoming somebody else

People hold an image of me

An image I would never approve

But I hold their images too

Deep in my heart

I know everyone’s good

But I behave that I don’t believe what I truly feel

And end up breaking hearts

To sound a little too funny

A little too friendly

I give the impression of a flirt

I never want to insult others

Nor notice their weaknesses

But the words spill out of my mouth

And they can never come back

No matter what I do

I am a good person

At least I try to be one

But my actions prove me to be someone else

It’s so hard…

So hard to be myself

So hard to become someone

Nobody hates…

So hard…

 

Author's Note

I just wanted to let it out.I've been feeling real low, dunno why?I keep thinking that people don't think that I'm a good person.I know I'm not perfect, but I'm trying to be my best.I hate it when people misunderstand my actions.I hate it even more when I realize that my actions weren't right.Oh! it's all so confusing!!!<<<<>>>>

Reviews

[Nely Amorim]

It's hard to please everyone all of the time, my own past experience is that it never works, somehow, someway you always end up disappointing someone. So my best advice to you is please yourself first, anyone who expects more from you is selfish and inconsiderate. You seem like a caring, sensitive and lovely person. I"m sure the people who don't need their ego's boosted will appreciate you just as you are.

Well written and thoughtful sentiments. I truly heard where your coming from. Keep up the good work.

[*~Imperfectly Me~*]

Wow... this is a great piece! I love how you keep trying... it made me think of the classic popular girl who is known to be a b***h but in the inside she only acts that way to please her peers for that is who they want her to be. This is a good poem... Just remember you are your worst critic.... Great write!

[Mysteral - Night Prowle..]

An excellent piece of self-analysis even without reading it as a poem. To know who you are, you must also realise who you're not. A few years ago, a friend told me she wanted to know the real me behind the mask. It was only then I recognised I am the reflection of the person in whose company I happen to be.
Oh, by the way... as a poem it is terrific. Very well written

[Angela]

This is a beautiful piece, so full of emotion. I'm think that you have a very real grasp of what's going on. You keep writing, no matter what and everything will fall into place for you soon.

[jen -- JG]

Siya it is called "growing up". You are 16 years old, still a baby in the overall scheme of things. You are struggling to find your own feet - to find yourself and in a way hoping to find you in the eyes and minds of your friends. Sorry love, that doesn't work.

As far as I can tell you are a young person who does care about others a lot. You probably try just a little bit too hard at times to be what you think they want you to be- which is something you are not.

If you want people to see YOU, you need to BE you.

It may take time to find out just who you are, but you are already ahead - you know who you are NOT.

That should give you a basis to work from.

About your poem - this is a heartfelt plea and so many of the younger writers here as well as some of the older ones - incluing me- can relate to some if not all of your poem.

Your words show you are beginning to see the difference between the things you do and things you should not do. so this shows progress.

No matter what you do, you won't be able to please everyone and will often only end up hurting yourself, as your poem says.

You don't want to be this way, YOU are the only one who can change it.

Be true to you, whatever you, you are at the time. You will change over the years and other you's will surface, but they are all an integral part of you.

Just be yourself, don't try to please everyone and in time, you will come to love the you, that you are and so will other people as they begin to really see you.

This is a good write Siya that shows clearly the conflicted thinking of people who want to be wanted and liked but have to pretend to be what they are not to make it happen. They are not happy because it is all false.

For a young person you put this into great perspective with an honest write.

Well done

jen-JG

[shadadakiya]

wow did you write this about me lol i think its great very honest and true about some of us lol i can reakte to this thanks for shareing your such a great writer .(:

[Travis Lawrence]

I understand how you feel. I struggled through this phase a couple years ago, but you've got to realize that misunderstandings and confused intentions will never go away, and know that we all say things we regret and we all realize how things we say could be taken out of context. And you've got to learn to let all of that go. It takes time and effort, but seriously, love yourself and keep trying to be the best person you can be, then none of this will matter, none of it at all. You can never, ever be liked by everyone, it's impossible.

One line I especially disagree with:

"I know everyone's good"

No, not in the least, there are some awful, hurtful people out there, in my experience! Anyway, I hope you cheer up soon :-)

Thanks for sharing.

-Travis

[Phil Sanders]

Life can be difficult at times .. especailly when your actions are misinterpreted .. remember .. the most important thing is to be true to yourself .. not what others want you to be .. a true friend or lover accepts you for who you are .. a beautifully written and insightful piece ...