Echoes

A simple poetry about fading love.

Echoes

ℂ 2014 SkylarValentine

Hush now Love. You're holding the flame too close.

Isn't our love enough? What am I missing?

Your brown eyes have gone astray.

Are you hearing the words I say?

Tell me we'll be okay-

are you even listening?

I burn as the doubt draws near.

It's not the flame I fear,

but what's tearing you from here,

and what we'll be losing.

Ensnare me with every lie

that echoes our love's goodbye.

Until you're too tired to try

and I'm barely breathing.

Hush now Love. You're holding the flame too close.

Wasn't our love enough? What am I missing?

Author's Note

Overall impressions and thoughts.

Reviews

[Benita-Staebell M - Kin..]

Simply Beautiful I love it!


Loved this Stanza's lines.




Ensnare me with every lie

that echoes our love's goodbye.

Until you're too tired to try

and I'm barely breathing.




Hush now Love. You're holding the flame too close.

Wasn't our love enough? What am I missing?


Thank you for sharing. blessings. kindred poet

[Skylar Valentine]

I'm happy you enjoyed it :)

[Benita-Staebell M - KindredPoet]

you're very welcome. blessings. kindred poet

[Bowers]

I love this write, it was sweet, yet a sense of slight desperation was seeping through as I read, I especially love how you began and ended this piece the same, the lines are very powerful. You have done a great job with your wording, the rhyming and the imagery. Love it!

[Trevor Bergshoeff]

Hm. I like it. Been there.

I quite enjoyed,

'I burn as the doubt draws near.
It's not the flame I fear,
but what's tearing you from here,
and what we'll be losing.'

To me it speaks to the tension of losing someone you love. You love them so much, but they're fading away, and all you can do is 'burn' with passion for them. and you're willing to do anything, even get hurt, if it means you won't lose them.

Also, I saw a parrallel between love and lies which immediately made me think of sonnet 138 by Shakespeare,

'therefore I lie with her, and she with me,
And in our faults by lies we flattered be.'

Good work :)

[Skylar Valentine]

You seemed to draw everything from it I was trying to express :D always a good sign. Thank you for the kind comment :)

[Trevor Bergshoeff]

My pleasure :). Keep up the good work.

[A. Amos]

I truly enjoyed the read, elegantly crafted...

[C. Rose]

Great structure, rhyme scheme, parallel repetition.
I like the concept, especially clarifying what it is you fear.

I joined your group because of the name and you clearly put thought into the description. Hope it does well.

[Skylar Valentine]

Thank you for the comment, and checking out my group :)

[Luna Lucretia Lawson]

this is such a gentle and beautiful poem, and its well written. i like this poem a lot

[Kawaiikitty96]

I really like this. It was beautifully written.