Cross the Rubicon?

I on the verge of no return trying to gather the guile to cross into the void. A question to make or break my heart and an answer as unknown as the person who should speak it. I am not sure how I am writing with my head so jumbled and preoccupied. Its been going on for weeks since the first contradiction, something to tear me apart or maybe keep me from the inevitable destruction I face without something to hold on to. So I am left still staring into the darkness ahead of me with the choice to step out of the fire or stay in the burning room waiting for a rescue that may be all too late from someone either oblivious or uncaring to the fire consuming me. Permissum alea iacta, permissum meus fortuna adveho for soon I cross the river.

And you got here just in time
To let me know I was worth saving
It's nothing more than for the hearts
Too proud to breathe
But I'm too scared to say the things worth saying
Who knew this trip would be this hard?

-Mayday Parade