Work in Progress, Working title; The Sins of Our Past

A Story by Slaanesh

My first real expedition into storytelling. The first few bits are in need of a rewrite. A story about Lyras journey to find her parents in a broken world. Any feedback would be massively appreciated!

It was cold. Bitterly cold. The kind of freezing that bit into your bones no matter how many layers of clothing you wore. Outside the storm raged, snow falling so thick that you couldn't see six inches in front of you. I had taken refuge inside a centuries old cabin, using bits of floor and wall to light the fire I huddled close to. This place would have been perfect to weather the storm in, had all the windows been blown out and one side of the ancient building caved in, allowing the wind and snow free riegn to invade my safe haven.

My fire provided very little warmth, but it was enough for my shivering fingers as I began to write in my battered journal. The leather bound book had been with me since the beginning, when everything had gone wrong. A loud bang echoed through the air, cutting through the gale, forcing me out of my writing induced daze. It sounded like a gunshot, it was followed by many more shots. Then I started to hear them, their unmistakable screams giving me cause as I kicked out the fire and grabbed my large rifle. Posting up against the nearest window, I steadied my breathing and begged my fingers not to freeze as I stared fruitlessly into the gloom of the whiteout. The shots were coming closer now, and I could hear the shooters yelling to one another, it sounded almost like a convoy, but in this territory? They must have been caught in the storm like me. I didn't want to reveal myself just yet, they could be from Pittsburgh, in which case I needed to avoid them at all cost, or they could be just some innocent caravaners from a small town attempting to get supplies for the harsh winter.

I couldn't take the chance, not after Chicago. The first dim figure came into view, stumbling and grabing at its midsection. I took a deep breath, finger on the trigger.

***6 Months Earlier***

Couldn't be late, couldn't be late, couldn't be late. The only sounds that reverberated down the long carpeted hall were my footfalls as I ran for my life. A timer in my head counted down to zero from 10 minutes, at the end of that ten minutes, I was a dead woman. 'Come on, come on!' I frantically searched room numbers, trying to find the one I needed. There! 903, Shetland's office. I still had about two minutes before I was late, so I took some time to straighten my blouse and skirt, then put on my heels and make sure my dark brown hair was in some semblance of order. Heart refusing to slow down, I reached for the handle and opened the heavy oak door.

Inside was rather spartan for someone of such prestige as Charles Shetland, the whole office took up one side of the building, looking out over the San Francisco skyline, there was a desk and a couple chairs strategically placed in front of the center window, the massive office was otherwise completely empty, save for a fake plant hiding in the corner like an abused puppy.

My quick look around the office was interrupted by the man himself, he cleared his throat, "Miss Heartstrings, I'm glad you made it. Showing up late to this interview would have left a terrible first impression." He got up and walked around the desk to shake my hand. His grip was like a vice, even for someone as old as he was, he had a diplomat's handshake.

"Of course sir, I make it a point to arrive at appointments in an orderly fashion. Especially when they are with someone of your stature and importance." Ugh, really laying it on thick huh Lyra? Never hurt to kiss up to my future boss.

"Indeed, a habit you'll do well to maintain." Ok, going well, this was going well. The old man grabbed my application from his desk and began to skim it, occasionally looking up at me before continuing to read. I swallowed hard, I needed this job, my palms were starting to get sweaty as he set the thick packet of paper down, inhaled deeply, and started the interview in ernst. "Lyra A. Heartstrings, paralegal at Shetland Brothers for five years, recently passed the bar at Cal Berkeley, 25 years old, no other working experience, and you want to be a lawyer at our firm."

I got the feeling he wasn't asking, but I still answered, "Yes sir." I hoped my anxiety didn't show on my face, because I wasn slowly dying inside from worry.

"I see." Was all he said to me before he went back to looking at my application.

The rest of my interview went as you may expect an interview to go. Lots of questions that seem remedial and pointless, but actually decide your fate. After what seemed like hours, I got another handshake and a promise about getting called back as soon as he could consult the partners. It was a better result than I had ever hoped for, but I was still pessimistic about my chances of getting in. I opened the door to my tiny flat in Oakland, turning on the light and throwing my jacket on the couch. Pouring myself a drink, I pushed several boxes of pizzas to the floor and turned on the old TV that made its home on a dresser full of my clothes. The 6 o'clock news was on, some story about a new virus going around, the Black Flu, or something. Eh, I had enough to worry about with my student loans and getting this job at Shetland Brothers, adding some bullshit flu wasn't really anything I needed at the moment. Downing my drink of bourbon, I was about to ready myself to work out when there was a knock at the door.

Not one of my roommates who got locked out again, this was a hard, sharp collection of knocks that breathed urgency in me to see who it was. The loud rapport continued and was accompanied by the sound of a man yelling, "Oakland PD! Open up!" Yikes! I should probably go see what he wanted. So I put my cup down in the cramped and cluttered kitchen and headed for the door.

**Present day**

This part... This part never got easier, putting down an innocent victim. The stumbling figure became clearer as it approached my hideout. A momentary break in the storm let me perfectly make out his face through my scope, twisted in pain and fear. His stomach was bleeding from what I could only assume were claw gouges. One arm was held tightly against his wounds, the other clutched a pistol. Even with all his heavy winter clothes, I was able to tell his wounds were bad. A trail of blood followed him from wherever his people had been ambushed, which meant very bad things for him. I couldn't let him lead them right to me, it would be the death of both of us if he made it inside the house with a blood trail behind him. I might as well have put up a big neon sign saying "Free Lunch!" outside.

I lined up the shot, my crosshairs firmly planted between his eyes... They were so filled with panic... Unfortunately for me, the break in the storm also meant I wasn't as invisible as I once was, and he saw me. He stopped dead in his tracks, about thirty feet away from me. The panic in his eyes being replaced with a spark of hope as we locked gazes. Survival first. Shoot. Save yourself. Do it! He'll get you both killed! I inhaled sharply, grimaced, and... and... I couldn't do it. I couldn't bring myself to end his life, even if it meant saving my own. Lowering the large military rifle, I waved my hand at him to continue toward the house. The sounds of battle seemed to be moving away from us now, only sporadic rifle fire fading into the distance met my ears as the man came up to the door.

I wasn't about to take the chance yet, so I met him there by smacking him hard in the face with the butt of my gun, knocking his a*s out cold.

**Six Months ago**

"Ma'am, you need to come with me, there's a situation regarding one of your friends. He asked for you specifically, names Shawn," The officer informed me, he was a tall latino man with dark brown eyes and very closely cropped hair, quite dashing actually. "He was involved in an altercation downtown, nothing too serious, just some bites and bruises. We couldn't find the men he was attacked by, but we've got him at the Kaiser Permanente hospital getting looked at by the docs." He wore that same serious expression that most cops had, it looked pretty intimidating honestly, but hey he wasn't arresting me so that was nice.

"Oh, um, of course! Let me grab my jacket first." I quickly threw my formal jacket back on and shut off the TV as the anchor woman was in the middle of describing riots in Seattle. The ride was short, but we passed several FEMA trucks heading away from us toward the highway, huh, they hadn't been in town when I got home... The Officer's radio was blaring nonstop with traffic, I had no idea what an 11-6, 11-46, or 11-99 was, but they kept repeating to the point where the officer seemed to gain new urgency in getting me to the hospital.

He dropped me off about a block from the Kaiser medical building, since there was a huge backlog of cars trying to get to the same place. People were walking everywhere, while FEMA personnel tried to set up what looked like a checkpoint to get into the actual hospital. Hm. Ok, so maybe I should be worried about the Black Flu. Didnt matter, I needed to find where they had put Shawn. Upon reaching the checkpoint I was hassled through several layers of people asking questions I had no idea about.

"Have you displayed flu like symptoms, have you been in contact with people who have? blah blah blah." Honestly I didn't care, I just needed to find him before something terrible happened. Eventually I was given a face mask and a room number, 415, so I embarked on my quest to navigate the utterly overflowing hospital hallways. Doctors and nurses rushed this way and that, looking ragged and overworked. Patients lined the halls, each in their own state of sickness. Some of them were almost comatose, while others looked perfectly healthy and very annoyed at being kept in the hospital. I tried not to look at them and hurried on my own business. I had almost made it to an elevator when a bunch of FEMA guys in full hazmat suits ran by, shielding a gurney with what looked like a writhing and snarling patient on it.

Ok, things were getting strange now. I pushed the button to go up and waited for the elevator to arrive. I hadn't realized I was holding my breath until the doors opened with a ding and I stepped inside. As the door began to close, I could almost have sworn there was an explosion from outside. But the doors were closed before I could confirm what I thought I'd heard.

Must've been my imagination...

**Present day**

It had been a tense couple of hours, to say the least. Whoever this guy was with had left his a*s, thankfully taking most of them away with their gunfire. Sometime between when he showed up and the morning the storm from hell let up and left about four extra feet of snow on the already saturated earth. I had patched up the man's stomach as best I could with what little supplies I had. He looked to be about my age, maybe a year or two younger, with blond hair and green eyes, he stood about 6' tall, 4 or so inches taller than me. With a much larger fire going now that the storm had cleared, I had removed my face shield and goggles, letting the fire's warmth soak into my skin. It was glorious. That's when my guest started coming to.

"Morning sunshine!" I called from where I sat across the room, with my rifle on my lap and his pistol within reaching distance, "Don't move too quickly, or your wounds will open up again, and my work isn't exactly the best."

He coughed and felt around his now bandaged midsection, making sure everything was there I guessed. "Who... Who are you?" He weakly asked.

"Well, that's not important who I am. What is important is who you are. Are you from Pittsburg?" This was it, his next words decided if I had wasted my time keeping him alive or not. There must have been something in my eyes, because he seemed to shrink back a little.

"Philadelphia." He gulped hard, Philly? What was he doing out this far? "My caravan was running a supply route to the Pitt we hadn't used before when we were attacked. I- I have no idea what happened, it was so quick. I couldn't see anything, so much screaming and panic..."

He was gonna have a lot of nightmares. Everyone still alive at this point was going to.

"Try not to think too much about it. Why would you take a new route in the middle of winter? And why are you running supplies to that slaver cesspit?" I may or maynot have loaded more venom than I indented in my words, but whatever.

"Easy for you to say, they weren't your friends." Philly seemed put out a bit, but kept talking, slowly gaining strength, "I-76 was too hot, millions of them from end to end, we got a route from some trader in York, he claimed it was safe, patrolled daily by some road crews." He locked eyes with me, "I live on a battleship, do you have any idea how hard it is to grow food on a battleship? And those pricks on the Kennedy refused to trade anything for their stores, they'd rather watch the world burn around them than part with anything of theirs."

All of this seemed important, but I couldn't be bothered to remember the politics of a city that I had no intention of ever going within a hundred miles of. "A battleship? Cool." I got up, slinging the massive rifle behind me and tossing the pistol to Philly, "Well Philly, I'm going to check to see if your friends left anything behind for us." At the door I turned and said over my shoulder, "Call me Boston."

**Six Months Ago**

Ok, alright ok alright. My heart was pounding, knees weak, palms are sweaty, thank god I hadn't vomited. Ding! I nearly jumped out of my skin when the door opened to reveal more of the same. Doctors and Nurses or whatever they were tending to patients, though I noticed that these doctors were kitted out in more protective clothing, and several doors I walked past had large FEMA quarantine labels on them. The banging on those doors only made me quicken my pace. These people looked like they were in much worse condition than the ones I had seen downstairs, many of them handcuffed to their gurneys.

Something fucked was going on here, and I had no idea what, but the bites on each person I saw should have clued me in.

There! 415! Hooray! I wasted no time at all letting myself in, ignoring the quarantine poster. Shawn was sitting in his bed, looking like a damn fool in his hospital gown, staring out the window with his gorgeous blue eyes. At the sound of my entrance he turned, a look of annoyance turning to relief, "I told you damnit, no more blood samp- Lyra! You showed up! I'd've thought that after the last time you had to bail me out..." He sheepishly trailed off, rubbing a hand behind his head.

"Id always bail you out, Shawny, you know that." I was about to lean in to kiss him when he stopped me.

"Docs said I could be contagious, no human contact for a week, guess sex is out of the question then." Stepping back, I found a box of gloves to throw at him.

"I guess! What happened to you anyway?" I pulled up a chair to listen as he launched into an epic tale of heroism and...

"I was walking home from work and three drunk guys attacked me, got me good in the head and one took out a chunk of my hand." He held up a bandaged hand to show me, the white gauze stained red. That was a lot less epic than I thought it would be.

"You got fucked up by a trio of drunkards?" My laughter filled the room, much to Shawn's dismay, "And here I thought my boyfriend was tough!"

He shot me a glowering look, "At least I didn't fill the car up with diesel." Well, he defiantly had me there.

"A genuine mistake, made years ago!" I was still flustered, he had achieved his goal. For as much s**t we gave each other, I loved him. More than I'd loved anything before, it was such a strange thing to love someone, Id never understand why, but I didn't need to understand. That was the exact moment we were interrupted by someone knocking at the door, no, not knocking. Pounding, they were wailing on that door! Shawn and I exchanged glances before I got up and walked over to the trembling piece of metal. As I reached for the knob, it was thrown wide open and a nurse in blood splattered baby blue scrubs dived into the room.

"CLOSE IT CLOSE IT CLOSE IT!" She screamed. Doing what I was told, I shoved my pitiful weight into closing the door, it was almost shut when a hand missing its pinky stuck through the narrow opening, keeping me from sealing our little slice of heaven.

This s**t was out of my paygrade.

**Present day**

Damn, the caravan must have been much larger than I thought. Bodies littered the tracks of something very large, possibly a modified 18 wheeler, most of them new infected that didn't have time to freeze just yet. Only a few cans of food, lots of spent shell casings, and a crate of .50 caliber ammo were left behind... well that and Philly. Now what were these blokes doing hauling ammunition all the way to the Pitt? Everyone from here to Davenport knew the Pitt was nothing but a slaver kingdom, and if they were arming themselves up this much, they could be planning to attack someone.

No, No nonononononononono. This is exactly what happened in Chicago Lyra! Well, not exactly, I didn't get a choice then. Still, getting involved wasn't something I could do, just getting around the city without dying had been a chore. There was nothing I could do about this, one person I could handle, a good high up position and a pull of the trigger, no problem. But this was different, they had an army, and with all these dentures I kept taking, I would never get to Boston. How peculiar, the body of a horribly mutated bear sat about twenty feet away from me. It was riddled with bullet holes, but I guessed the two directly into its forehead had actually put it down. Looking at its hide, I could tell that it was only recently infected, since its skin was still largely intact and pelt only just starting to fall out.

The markings around it in the snow told me that there had been a fight, then whatever the bear had attacked got up, and walked off, trailing blood behind it... Oh F**k.

**Six Months Ago**

Panic mode, activate! The owner of everyone's favorite hand was on the other side of our door, absolutely desperate. It was another nurse from what I could gather, her almost incoherent screaming filled my ears, "PLEASE PLEASE! LET ME IN! OH GOD PLEASE, THEY'RE COMING! OH JESUS CHRIST PLEASE!" I froze. Open the door, let her in, risk our lives for hers. Every fiber of my being wanted to open that door... but I didn't. Her desperation grew ever louder as what I guessed was 'them' closed in on her. Blood sprayed into the room through the crack as her screams reached an apex and died into a death gurgle. Her hand was yanked out of the door from the other side, and I took my opportunity to slam it shut.

What the hell did I just do? I... I had killed someone... Blood started to ooze in under the door as I suddenly felt very ill, and found myself face first in a trash can hurling anything my stomach had to hurl. The other nurse as curled into a ball on one of the unoccupied gurneys, and Shawn was by my side, I realized that I was crying, hot tears flooding down my face like an unstopable waterfall. He was saying something to me, but none of it was coming through. Shaking my head, I tried to get a grip on myself, but his frantic motioning at the door didn't help. Eventually he left me to my shock and did something with the nurse before moving whatever he could against the door.

Ok... Ok... Ok... I'm a monster, I'd killed someone that I could have saved, but it was in the past for now, I shoved the whole memory into a closet and locked it, I didn't have time to stew on my moral decisions right now. Slowly, so I didn't start wreching again, I got to my feet. Shawn was busy shoving crap against the door still, so I went to the nurse, who was still crying hysterically. "Hey, hey!" I read her nametag, Ashley Carter, RN, "Ashley, listen, what the hell is going on!"

She just stared at me for a second before something clicked in her head and some light came back into her brown eyes, "I... I-I don't know, they started coming in yesterday, Black flu, a bunch of CDC and FEMA guys would take the patients away when they went comatose. Then... then they just kept coming, more than this hospital could handle, so we sent over to John Muir and they said they were full to capacity too... I was just asking the doctor a question when... five patients attacked us!" She gestured to her ruined scrubs, "This was Doctor Richmond's arterial spray." Visibly shaking, she pressed on, "Then there were more of them, attacking everyone, one bit a finger off my friend when she pulled it off me... Did she make it?"

Ah. Well... that... that twisted a knife in my emotional wound. Swallowing, I was about to say no when she interrupted me, "Your look tells me no, she didnt." Ashley teared up again, threatening to make me descend into madness with her.

I would have too, but a loud explosion from outside blew in the window, throwing me to the deck. As quickly as I could, I got back to my feet and chanced a peek out the ruined portal.

Sweet Jesus. The military had driven tanks right up to the hospital doors, attempting to block the entryway, but it hadn't worked. People ran this way and that, some in uniform, most not. A wave of gown clad individuals surged after the fleeing people, chaos reigned as gunfire echoed around the buildings of downtown Oakland. I didn't even have time to take it all in before another jet screamed overhead and dropped its payload onto the street below me. The resulting detonation caused a piece of shrapnel to graze my cheek, but the shockwave picked me up and threw my a*s into the wall, just like that, I was out like a light.

**Present day**

It was too late. By the time I reached my little slice of sanctuary by running as fast as I could through the horrible deluge of snow, Philly was vomiting blood. He looked up fearfully when I returned, but resumed his retching before he could realize it was me or even lift the pistol against me. "I take it," He managed to choke out between fits of doubling over, "That my people are long gone?"

I nodded at first before realizing he wasn't looking, so I answered verbally instead, "You're arming the slavers in Pitt."

He did his best to face me, but it was a challenge for him, "What would you have us do!? No one else will part with their food in the middle of winter and all we have in Battletown is weapons! We caught word that someone in the west was buying out every arms trader in the state, so we jumped at the opportunity." Philly collapsed, having exerted himself keeping the sentence together without hacking up a lung or dry heaving.

I stooped low, and collected his pistol from its lonely spot on the floor, "You're people, they are fueling the problem." Looking away, I cut off Philly as he tried to interject, "I get it though. Survival above all else, even if it means someone else dies." I took aim with the pistol, "I get it." He was as good as a slaver, helping them to further entrap people, giving them weapons. His, and the people he called friends, survival had almost certainly endangered my own life. The infection was already taking hold in him, but I found myself hesitating as we locked eyes. Mine hateful and vindictive, his terrified and panicked. "I get it." I whispered.

Bang.

**Six Months Ago**

Spinning, why the hell was everything spinning? Carefully, I opened my eyes to see Ashley tending to me. Ugh, my head was pounding, a steady stream of dull thuds that almost made me sick. Ash helped me get to my feet, seemingly having gotten her nerve back. "Note to self, don't stand next to windows when getting bombed by the air force. How long was I out?" Damn this throbbing headache.

Ashley looked pained for a moment before she answered, "About an hour, long enough for the gunfire to move away from us."

Shawn was laying on the ground nearby, seemingly bleeding from his mouth, hold on, that wasn't normal at all! I threw off Ashley as she tried to stop me from rushing over to him. "Shawn, Shawn! Oh dear god what the hell is wrong with him!" I was in a panic, something was broken inside him and I had no idea how to fix it, so I directed all of my histeria at the one person I thought could. "You need to fix him!"

A small part of my rational self pointed out that she was only a nurse, and that the world was currently ending around us. The pounding seemed to get worse as I screamed at Ashley, but she seemed to have slipped into nurse mode, which really pissed me off because she was calm while I was absolutely hysterical. "Hes already gone. He came in with the same bites that literally everyone else in this hospital seems to have, which means hes infected with the Black Flu. If you listen, you can hear the other patients." Something in me called for order in the growing emotional sh*tstorm, so I listened, and realized the pounding wasn't in my head. It was at the door.

The realization of how stuck we were set in and cooled off my fire, instead of doing anything productive, I curled up next to Shawn as his laboured and shallow breathing tapered off. I must have been laying there for at least half an hour, and in that time I lost track of Ashley after she went to the window. Two hands grasped me and I was yanked away from my lover toward the shattered pane of glass. "We need to leave ma'am!" Ashley was crawling out the window to the ledge on the other side. In the middle of screaming obscenities at her, she slapped me, right across the face, "I don't know what he was to you, but hes dead now! You cant fix dead!"

I wouldnt have it. None of it. Turning around, I froze. There he was, standing up, he was alive! A second before I could run to him, my brain put on the brakes. His eyes... they were unfocused and milky white, blood trickled from his eyes like he had been crying scarlet tears, and I knew. He started sprinting at me, but a swift punch to the face stalled his advance long enough for me to get through the window, slicing open my hands.

That didn't stop what used to be Shawn. He attempted to follow us, but lost his balance coming out the window and fell, four stories down, into the street below us. I was numb, acting purely on instinct, following Ashley as we side stepped our way over to the next room. I couldn't process what had just happened. Nothing made sense anymore.

"I found a way to the roof, there were a bunch of FEMA guys heading there when everything went to hell and back. Whats your name anyway?" I think I said Lyra, I'm not sure, things were blurry when they moved, and I wasnt in control of myself anymore. How could this have happened? We crawled back into the hospital, this time it looked like a stairwell. Almost 4 years... gone just like that... We were running, several of them giving chase as we fled up uncountable flights of stairs. He had been my everything, we had gone to cal berkeley together, gotten each other through the worst of times. Ashley was being tackled, I acted before thinking, Body checking the ex FEMA worker off her and continuing the run. What about mom and dad in Boston? We reached a door and barreled into it at full speed breaking it open. Was this a nation wide thing? A squad of soldiers greeted us with gunfire, thankfully missing with the few shots they fired. I needed to get to Boston, I might have lost everything here, but if there was even a chance my family was alive, Id take it. Our entourage arrived shortly after us, and the soldiers opened up on them.

I found myself rushed into a helicopter as the troops retreated behind us, desperately attempting to fight off the horde streaming onto the roof. And then we were off, the helicopter roared into the air, leaving Oakland behind us in a burning fury.

We made it... If it was this hard to get up a few flights of stairs, how the hell was I going to get to Boston?

**Present day**

Alone. That was me. I was alone again, the way it had been for a while. The silence that surrounded me had at first unsettled and disturbed me, nearly driving me insane, but now, now after weeks of minimal human interaction, I found it comforting. I could concentrate better, hear things that I otherwise couldn't, talking only got in the way of survival, too often had I seen from afar the consequences of lowering your guard. I was better off alone. No one would hold my life in their hands, not if I got a say in the matter. This was the way it should be, I would carry on my journey, alone.

I left his body in the cabin, whatever found him would eat well for however long he lasted. Personally, I didn't know him well enough to bother trying to bury him, my deepest regret was having wasted valuable medical supplies on someone who never even had a chance to get better. It dawned on me that his people had never even attempted to come back and find him, but in this world, if you held on to the notion that someone was still alive after disappearing, you'd only end up dead... or worse, trying to look for them. He hadnt really been carrying anything useful, and I already had my own pistol for close combat, so I took apart his weapon and kept the bits in the best condition for my own firearm.

The damnable snow made my progress painfully slow, coupled with the constant need to be aware of my surroundings, I only managed to cover a few miles before I was forced to stop and rest my aching legs. Even with snowshoes, hiking through the backwoods of Pennsylvania was becoming a real pain in the a*s. If I never saw another inch of snow, Id die happy. A sound off in the distance grabbed my full attention, it was just a whisper, barely within the range of my hearing, but it sounded like a giant roaring in anger. Welp, now was a great time to get off my a*s and hide. I had been hiking along a narrow clearing cut into the treeline, parting the forest to allow me easy travels. Assuming it was a road, I had gratefully taken to it and followed it up until this point, but now I was deeply regretting my decision.

I ran a few meters into the trees, using my snowshoes to cover the tracks I left, and flattened myself against the forest floor. Some snow tossed over my form for good measure, and I was effectively invisible, thank you Sergeant Slaughter, I owe you big time. The roaring giant was drawing closer, now I could see a massive plume of white getting kicked up down the path I had been following. Ok, I was a little scared about what it would be, but I needed to keep my cool, panicking only got you killed.

There it was! At the epicenter of the swirling snowstorm was a... a mechanical thing of spinning teeth... What the hell? It was coming closer. Crunch time, fight or flight, fight or flight! Too late, I was in it now, the thing was almost upon me, no time to run anymore. Then it was past me, and I got a look at its broadside... 'CSX' was stenciled on its side, men in camouflage and holding guns rode atop it... It was a train... A snowblower train...

I really needed to get back into civilization

**Six Months ago**

A rifle butt kindly found its way to my cheek, knocking my a*s right to the chopper's floor. "You two c***s cost O'Reilly his life!" Owie, quickly, I curled into a ball and prepared to get the s**t kicked out of me, but the beating never came.

"Lance! Goddamnit look at them, they've been through just as much s**t as we have." the sound of two people struggling reached my ears and I uncurled enough to see a couple of the soldiers wrestling while the others pried them apart. I took the opportunity to grab Ashley and find a nice corner to cower in until the people with guns stopped fighting. The sucker punch from a rifle had cleared my head, and despite being a little dazed from the hit, I could actually think straight again. Apparently we were on the last chopper out of Oakland, if the conditions we left under had been any indication.

"Hey, sorry about Lance, he... lost someone." A soldier extended his hand to me, he was handsome, brown eyes, chiseled jawline, I took him to be the leader and gratefully accepted his hand. "We're on our way to FOB Pershing on Treasure Island, its the evac center for the whole bay area. You're lucky," He was mid sentence when I saw out of the open rear hatch, the Kaiser building get flattened by an air strike, "The air force was leveling the whole block, we barely made it out." There were about seven soldiers in the heilo with us, which was comforting, seeing so many people with guns made me feel safe, even if one of them had become well acquainted with my face. "I'm Sergeant Arzent, US Army, and you are?"

"Uhh, Lyra... and this is Ashley." Ash and I were sitting now, both doing our best to ignore Oakland burning, "Whats gonna happen at Treasure Island?"

The helicopter was coming into the FOB, both bridges leading to the island were heavily clogged with traffic, but whoever was coordinating the defense was smart, they had Stationed most of the garrison on each bridge, creating huge choke points that were easily defended. We set down in a clearing full of other choppers and soldiers running in every direction. "You'll find out Lyra! Stay with me!" The sergeant yelled over the din of helicopters, "Squad, on me, lets get into the fight!" We all sprinted into the field of evacuees and other personnel, in the crowds, I lost the sarge, but managed to keep ahold of Ashley's hand in a death grip.

A firm hand landed on my shoulder, nearly scaring the literal sh*t out of me, and dragged the two of us out of a random que we had joined. I turned to the offending hand's owner, it was another soldier, this one had two silver bars on his helmet, "Who are you!? What do you want?!" I was scared, confused, and pretty sure I was having a nervous breakdown, things were moving too fast, way too fast!

"Are you injured in any way?!"

Um, what? "Um, what? No!" I should have known what was about to happen, but in my current mental state, I couldn't process it fast enough.

He got right in my face and yelled, "You've just been drafted!"

Aw, f**k.

**Present day**

I found myself once again praising the train gods as I made my way into Scranton. The trip had taken me far less time than I had initially thought it would, all thanks to the train gods sending me a snowblower guardian. Scranton was a sizable city in northern Penn state, which meant I wasnt going to chance going into the city itself, instead I'd be skirting the edge of town to the north.

Several hours into my slow hiking trip, I came to an old Interstate, it was littered with cars old luggage most of the cars had new york license plates. Poor a******s must have been fleeing the city when they got caught here. Though, there were no infected, not even frozen ones, loitering around. Strange... I began crossing the road, carefully picking my way around the slowly rusting hulks as I quickly got across. Then something caught my hearing, yelling, human voices exchanging what sounded like obscenities at each other. I stood frozen, like a deer in headlights, trying to make out what they were yelling. Then there were gunshots, and I dove for cover. Automatic weapons fire, close by, maybe half a mile down the road. Slowly, very painfully slowly, I crawled up the road to gain a better vantage point and see what the hell was going on.

About two dozen men in the same camos as the guys on the CSX train huddled in cover as they exchanged fire with several decidedly less armed people standing on top of a makeshift wall of cars. The train men were covering their buddies with M16s as they moved up with what looked like backpacks towards the wall. The defenders had shotguns and hunting rifles, and while they held a commanding position, I doubted that outnumbered and outgunned, they'd last for very long. All of this I observed from the top of a greyhound bus behind the attackers through the scope of my rifle.

There was a clear choice to make here, I needed to keep moving toward Boston, and heroics only got people killed. Just give them a wider berth and keep going, that's all I needed to do. The men with backpacks were closing in on the wall, both sides had taken casualties, and the amount of fire coming out of the fort was beginning to taper off. I centered my crosshairs on the first sapper, he was hunkered against a car about twenty feet from the gates, at this range I could make out his facial features, he looked scared. Sweat was pouring off him as he looked for an opening to advance further. He would never get it.

Following Sergeant slaughter's instructions to the letter, I took in a breath, let it go, took it in, let it go, and squeeze. The gun slammed into my shoulder like a truck, it's barking report echoing through the valley and drowning out all other noises for a mile around. My aim was true, and the .50 bullet ripped into the kid's backpack, igniting whatever he was carrying. The resulting explosion flattened everyone on the field and for a second, it seemed almost like no one knew what was happening anymore. I took the momentary pause of everyone looking around at each other to relieve one of the soldiers of his head. The defenders recovered first, finding new vigor in the sudden turning of the tables. The soldiers, for their part, began to retreat to the south. Whoever was calling the shots knew when to cut their losses and run, faced with combatants to both sides firing down into their ranks they had no choice but to die or bug out.

I capped two other guys as they sprinted for the woods then calmly displaced my rifle and rolled off the bus to the left. Having fired as many times as I did, they would know exactly where I was, and that wasnt a good thing, so I needed to get the hell out of dodge. After a few tense minutes to make sure I was alone, I slung my rifle over my shoulder and made tracks toward the fort.

Apparently, the defenders didn't have my sense of caution, as several of them were out looting the bodies of those less fortunate. A few broke off and nervously pointed their guns at me as I approached, yelling out, "Stop right there or we'll shoot you like we did these scumbags!"

I didn't even break stride as I walked up to the first one, gently nudging his gun to the side and away from my chest, "Id like to speak with whoever's in charge."

An old man sporting a captured assault rifle and an impressive beard placed his hands on the remaining guns and lowered them, "Its fine boys, she's here to help." That seemed to be enough for the men to go back to looting as the old man gestured for me to come with him into the now open gates. Turns out, the fort was actually a town made out of the I-476 bridge with dozens of people living on it. "Thanks for the help out there, those a******s have been harassing us ever since they got the tracks from Pittsburgh fixed. Without your help we may have had serious trouble on our hands." He led me through the busy street lined with makeshift houses and people burning whatever they could to stay warm, finally we made it to a big rig and he motioned me inside.

It was nice, the center console had been converted into a fireplace, the seats had been removed for extra space, and a few small camping chairs replaced them. Ah, warmth! How Ive missed you! We began to shed our heavy winter clothing, he was wearing blue jeans and a black army shirt under all his jackets, while I sported my old torn and patched ACUs from San Fran... bad times... baaaaaad times....

He offered me a cup of something, I think it was tea, which I greatfully accepted. "So," he started off, "Can you tell me exactly why the Angel of Chicago has shown up at my town's doorstep?"

I nearly choked on the delicious leaf juice.

* * * *

Now how the hell did that name reach these people all the way up here? I recovered quickly, "Oh you know, just passing through." Sipping nonchalantly from the mug, I pressed on, "I'm kinda curious as to how you heard of that name, I didn't expect it to travel this far."

"Just passing through eh?" He poured himself some more tea and kept talking, offering me a refill, "Traders spread the word pretty quickly, especially when you saved an entire city."

I was turning slightly red, "It was nothing like that, whatever you heard, its likely a lie. You've got me at a disadvantage, you know partially who I am but I don't know you."

He shot me a glance that told me he wasn't buying my humility, "Names Bill, mayor of New Scranton. I doubt very much that a story can get much more embellished than a woman leading a slave revolt against an evil overlord."

Looking away, I set the piping warm cup down, "It wasn't exactly like that... things were... beyond my control. But I don't really want to launch into that, its behind me and people will think what they want about what happened." I cleared my throat, "I'm glad I could help you out with your merc problem, but I really need to hit the road." Getting up to leave, I started putting my jackets back on when he stopped me.

"Wait, those men you helped us put down, they're with Colonel Rottam in the Pitt. That means they'll be back with more men than we can fight off." Oh no, I didn't like where this was going, "And know they know the Angel is in town, they'll be coming back full force to put you in the ground, or worse."

Ugh. The colonel and I had a bit of a history, a history I sincerely never wanted to remember so long as I drew breath. "That isn't my problem, Chicago was one thing, I didn't get a choice then, but I have to get to Boston."

"You're the Angel of Chicago, like it or not you have a reputation. Who else goes around with that monster on her back?" He pointed to Penance, my M82A1, "You don't want to do this out of the goodness of your heart, fine, but these men have a long reach and if you don't do something about them they will catch up with you." Damnit, damnit damnit damnit. He had a point, I could only run for so long before I ran out of road.

With a deep resigned sigh, I fell back into the camping chair. "Ok, Ill help."

Bill smiled, "There you go, we already have a plan to deal with the guys, we just didn't have enough firepower to do it until now." He had put his coats back on and led me outside to the edge of the bridge looking over the old city, "With the Infected frozen for the winter, they've parked their train right downtown at the amtrak terminal. By our count there's at least a hundred guys there, way too many for us to handle alone, but we've talked to the three other settlements around the area and they've agreed to help us take the train. The supplies and weapons on that thing would get this whole region through the winter, and I'm sure they have some ammunition for that killer of yours too."

I had stopped listening, whatever they were going to do, a lot of people were going to die, and no doubt I'd be elected to lead them to their deaths... I didn't know if I could do that again. But these people needed me, and even if they thought I was something I wasnt, I had a rifle and the skills to use it, so I would help them.

"We're meeting the other mayors tonight to plan the attack, I'd like for you to be there, it would do wonders for morale."

"Yeah, sure. Whatever you need." No matter how hard I tried, conflict always found me, I could be a million miles away and there would still be someone who needed me to kill someone else for some stupid cause I didn't really believe in.

Penance weighed heavily on my back, it was a comforting burden, I felt naked without her. As Bill led the way to whatever we were doing next, I couldn't help but mutter under my breath, "Once more back unto the breach dear friends..."

**Six Months Ago**

Id never held a gun before, not once, not even a bb gun. Within a matter of minutes, Ashley had been taken away to help with the field hospital, since she was a nurse and all, and I had been given a pair of loosely fitting ACUs and a gun. The situation must have been absolutely dire if they were giving everyone who could walk a rifle. I was herded into a room full of other lucky draftees, most of whom didn't actually have camos on, and told to listen while some guy gave us a pep-talk.

"I understand that none of you are soldiers, many of you have never fired a gun before, but we need you. There's two cities worth of those freaks coming for us, and our reinforcements stopped coming an hour ago. There is nowhere else to go than here, dismissed." Some pep-talk! 'Fight or die a******s!' Was pretty much what he had just told us, a room full of scared city slickers being told to do something we'd never in a million years dreamed of doing.

We spend the next half hour learning how to pull the trigger and reload the rifles they'd handed us all while listening to the air force run sorties on the approaching hordes. I swear my heart didn't stop pounding the whole time, almost like my body knew what was about to happen. When the officers finally thought we had enough training not to crap our pants when we fired our guns, they sent us in truckloads to the two bridges.

It was hell. The second I got shoved off my truck and into combat, I was met with utter confusion. Men in ACUs screamed orders, ammo runners desperately tried to keep the front supplied with bullets, gunfire threatened to deafen me, and above it all there was the ever present screeching of the undead. Without thinking, I moved to the wall of tanks and other junk to join the firing line. They were running at us, most in blood spattered goans, others in regular clothes, some stark naked, but they were running at us. I froze, rifle in hand, staring at my approaching death. There were so many of them, hundreds of what used to be people were coming for us, murder in their lifeless eyes. Suddenly I was spun around and someone was in my face... again.

"Soldier! Why the fu-" Recognition flooded into his eyes, it was the sarge, "Lyra?! Jesus f*****g christ, they're giving civies guns now?" All I could do was numbly nod as he looked me over, "Well you're here now, so put that weapon to use!" and then he was gone. Taking several deep breaths, I centered the sights on my first target and pulled down the trigger. Only one bullet came out, even though I was holding down the trigger. Without a single clue how to make it fire more than one at a time, I started firing into the horde. I didn't know how to kill them, but once I pulled the trigger the first time, it was like a floodgate had opened and I couldn't stop. Soon I had to reload, and again, and again. Despite my awesome expenditure of ammunition, we were losing very steadily. To my left and to my right, people were starting to falter and break. Seeing them run destroyed my already pitiful resolve.

"I'm not dying here!" Someone shouted next to me, I shared his sentiments, so I ran. Right into Sargent Arzent's chest.

"Where do you think you're running to!" He screamed out at the droves of terrified people, "There is nothing but death across the bay bridge into San Francisco!" He looked around, "And behind you there are no boats, no evac sites to be taken to, there is NOTHING to retreat to! Stand and fight!" Even though I wanted nothing more than to piss my pants and crawl into the nearest hole, his speech actually made me stop and think. It seemed to have the same effect for everyone else as they returned to the line.

Running low on ammo, morale at breaking point, and death knocking on our makeshift barricades, it wouldnt take much for our defense to shatter. That's exactly when the air force showed up. Several fighter jets roared overhead, dropping their munitions on the bridge's car deck. Similar explosions reverberated through the air behind me, suggesting that the same had happened to the bridge leading into San Fran. Before me, the newly constructed bay bridge buckled and collapsed, its supports demolished, effectively cutting off the flow of undead assailing our position. Cheers sounded all around me, and I quietly thanked the machine gods.

I was safe, for now.

**Present**

Breathe. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale, squeeze. Penance abused my shoulder as she jumped back from the recoil of firing. A man about four hundred meters away from me drew his last gulp of air as the 50. BMG round almost completely devastated his upper body. He had been speaking with a buddy, both of them sharing a laugh next to a burning barrel to stay warm. I had memorized his facial features before pulling the trigger, a long black beard, jolly eyes, and a kind face. Unfortunately he was wearing the wrong uniform. The ejected brass hadn't even landed on the rooftop next to me before I fired again, this time at his friend, who was still trying to process that his buddy had just been sprayed all over him.

The young soldier never saw it coming, my aim was true, and it ripped right through his heart, blowing off his left arm as it flew through him as though nothing were there. His back was to me, and I couldn't see his face, but I knew what it looked like without even having seen it. Contorted with fear, surprise, confusion, and disbelief right before I had delivered him his own killing blow.

Next up was a middle aged woman sprinting for cover, she almost made it too. She could have been my aunt, just the right amount of wrinkles for someone edging toward 50 with each passing year, a panicked expression on her hardened face... I ended her attempts at surviving with a roar from Penance that took both her legs out from under her, and off of her. They were starting to find where I was, so I held fire and rolled away from the roof's edge. Snow inundated my little sniper nest, but from this distance, it helped to conceal my outline. I was stationed on a 12 story building just to the south of the train depot, drawing the slaver's attention while a combined force of about 70 guys from the local towns launched an attack from the north.

Shouts and gunfire told me that my handiwork had been noticed, but they had no idea where I was yet. A massive explosion resounded through the air and the shouts gained new urgency. The battle had begun in earnest as the armed townspeople poured into the trainyard. They were outnumbered, poorly equipped, and had never faced an organized enemy before, but they had me. Rolling back into place where I could see what was going on, I set up again. People were dying, a lot of people. Surprised and caught off balance from trying to deal with me, the slavers were getting cut down fairly quickly. I started to pick off targets, starting with authority figures, drawing fire away from my comrades on the ground.

Recycle the mag, prime the bolt, breathe, center the target, inhale, exhale, fire. Rinse wash repeat, rinse wash repeat. I had only brought about five mags worth of ammo with me, so I needed to be careful about how I used them. On the ground, things were getting desperate. Even with my diligent efforts to disorganized them by killing everyone who looked like a leader, they were starting to push the townspeople back. To make it worse, the townsfolk were starting to waiver.

Bullets pinged off the building below me, letting me know very kindly that they were starting to hone in on where I was. Which was very bad. I chanced one more shot at an old man barking orders over the din of battle, he kept ducking into and out of cover, rallying the enemy troops and making it incredibly difficult for me to put him down. Then he made his first mistake, I wasn't about to let him make another one. His head atomized as he bent over to scream at a slaver who was cowering on the ground. The guy must have been important, because almost as soon as he was fine paste, the slavers faltered then broke. Many of them simply ran from the battle, deciding that discretion was the better part of valor by retreating in any direction they could. I held my fire, no need to waste ammunition on routing men after all, and watched as those who did not flee were quickly overwhelmed by the swarm of townspeople.

I checked the sun, by my calculations, the entire assault had taken little more than twenty minutes from start to finish. Not a bad time honestly, still, surveying the destruction with my scope, a lot of lives had been lost. I made my way down to the yard, passing the three soldiers I had ended from afar as I moved toward the regrouped townspeople. Bill was there, smoking a cigarette and scowling at the dead strewn across the battleground. "Looks like you won Bill." Prisoners were marched by, they looked at me with fear, knowing by the giant weapon on my back, who I was.

"Hardly!" He grunted back at me, "We lost at least two dozen good men taking this damn place, who knows how many more are going to die because we cant treat their wounds." The grizzled old man sighed deeply, "I don't call that a victory, young lady."

He could call it whatever the f**k he wanted to, they had their guns, their ammo, and a whole damn train full of food. My job was done here, nothing left for the Angel of Chicago to do. They called me the Angel of Chicago, but if they knew who I was, what I had done to get here, they wouldnt hold nearly as high an opinion of me as they do now. This detour had cost me three days on my trip to Boston, three days that could mean life or death for my family. Or they could have been dead for months and I was wasting my time. Guess I was going to find out eventually huh?

* * * *

Crunch. F**k snow. Crunch. Seriously, why did it have to snow again? Couldn't winter just crawl into a hole and die? Crunch. Each labored step brought me closer to my ultimate goal, Boston. Unfortunately, there were a few hundred miles of snow encumbered roadways between me and the elusive city. Crunch. Id left Scranton and Pennsylvania behind a few weeks ago, parting with the townspeople in the night so they wouldnt try to follow me. Crunch.

Ugh, I missed California. Cali never got this much snow... at least not where I lived. If I never saw a flake of snow in my entire life, it would be too f*****g soon. I readjusted my pack before continuing along this stretch of I-84 north of Newburgh. Since leaving Scranton, Id found that getting reused to being alone was incredibly difficult. The way Bill had spoken to me about who he thought I was... The Angel of Chicago... If only he knew what I had done, I didn't deserve that title, I didn't deserve the status it brought. I wasnt some hero, I was a survivor, a monster. I would do anything to survive, taking a life was easy, especially if the life belonged to someone standing between me and living another day. A squeeze of the trigger and a life is ended, that was my reality now, I couldn't afford to hesitate.

I squinted my eyes against the harsh glare of sunlight off the snow, what was that? Standing like an idiot, I continued desperately trying to see what was ahead of me with my bare eyes before a sudden realization hit me. I had Penance. Good going Lyra. My rifle out and bipoded, I could clearly make out what looked like a shanty fortification about a mile or two down the interstate from me. Wonderful, bandits. I didn't want to have to shoot them, but there was no over way to cross the Hudson river without being horribly exposed.

Wait, a minute... As I watched, a gate opened and what looked like a caravan of snowmobiles laden with supplies exited the fort before rushing off to the south. Interesting... Maybe they weren't bandits... Only one way to find out. I got up, slung Penance over my shoulder, and started walking for the fort.

Crunch, crunch, crunch, BANG! Awe f**k! a bullet pinged off the car next to me, causing my instincts to kick in. I found cover and swore at myself for having broken my number two rule, trust no one. I had quite possibly just gotten myself killed, or worse. Much much worse. Checking the load in my 1911, I breathed deeply, they weren't shooting anymore... Why werent they shooting anymore?

"Hey! Sorry hon! That was an accident, I'm training a new guy today!" I wasnt buying the woman's sweet voice, but then I could hear what sounded like her scolding someone.

Then a very high, nasally voice of a teenage boy yelled out, "I'm sorry for shooting at you! Ow! I said I'm sorry mom!"

Chuckling, I stood up to see... nothing. Huh, I could have sworn Id been shot at by someone. The walls were bare of any visible shooters, that could only mean... ah crap. A gun pressed against the back of my head, so I put up my hands. As I did, several mounds of snow gained life and morphed into humans, I really should have seen this coming, damnit.

"Sorry hon," A womanly shape clad in all white and hefting an intimidating machine gun spray painted white approached my position, "But this is standard procedure, you don't survive for long as a town without taking some precautions." I was relieved of my pistol and I felt hands on Penance, oh f**k no. In a movement that surprised even me, I spun around, threw a punch into the poor guy's face, and grabbed his shotgun out of his flailing hands. Suddenly, the guy who dared defile Penance had his own pump action shotgun in his face. "Wow, wow, wow, hon, lets calm things down a little ok?" A quick glance around told me what I already knew, everyone within range of the altercation had there weapons pointed at me, typical.

"No one touches Penance." I growled, the terrified kid I stood over looked like he was about to pass out, or piss himself.

"There's no need for that, hon. Its standard procedure for all newcomers to Little York to forfeit their weapons until they leave, that's how we maintain order." She was pushing her luck, and my trigger finger was getting restless. "You can keep your giant gun if it makes you feel better, but you have to hand over all its ammunition while youre in the town."

I thought it over for a second, then lowered the Remington shotty and dropped it on the kid's chest. "Fine, who are you anyway?" My actions seemed to have defused the situation, as a palpable sense of relief washed over my newfound escort.

"I'm sheriff Margaret Weatherbee, and that kid you flattened is my oldest son, Jason." We started walking toward the fort, I think she called it Little York, while the other people with us melted back into the scenery. "I gotta thank you for not blowing Jason's head off, hon, it would have been very messy for everyone involved."

"You're welcome." Was all I said as I handed over all my .50 BMG ammo to a guard station just inside the gates.

"What's your name hon?" She had long since shouldered her massive machine gun and was walking next to me, occasionally pointing out a different store or place of significant value to the community.

"I'm Boston, do you have a gun store here? I need some more .50 caliber ammunition." I didnt intend on being at this town for more than a day before continuing along on my journey.

"Oh that's a fake name, hon. But hey its what you want to be called so I won't judge ya hon. Jerry runs a gun store right over there. Your purchases will be taken to the security station for obvious reasons," What looked like a bar to our right erupted into shouts and two men came out the window, interrupting my chat with the Sheriff, "I gotta handle this hon, don't get into trouble." And then she was gone.

What a quaint little town, they had walled off several blocks of Newburgh, including the highway, and made their town within it. Pretty impressive considering how close we were to New York and how little time they had to get this done. Everywhere I looked there were construction crews performing work on anything that looked even remotely broken, snow or no. I guessed that with the infected all frozen this was the best time to upgrade their defenses and whatnot. I quickly found Jerry's shop and went in, the holy grail of weapons awaited me, oh so beautiful guns.

I could get used to this place if it had this many guns!

My backpack felt considerably lighter now, after having bartered away a lot of the useless junk I'd picked up along my path east. I really wanted to keep the new assault rifle I'd bought from Jerry, but alas, it and all the ammo Id purchased went stright to the security people. Id have to wait to fully inspect it. After Jerry's I hit the market, refilling my stock of food and a few new filters for my water purifier. Finding a room to crash at was easy, for the price of a few stories and a comic book Id had since Salt lake City, I was allowed to sleep at the local Inn. The guy who ran the establishment was a portly man of about thirty nine years, he wore a black overcoat and a bowler hat which went surprisingly well with his full beard. His jovial expression made the Inn's lobby feel more vibrant, welcoming even, like nothing was wrong in the world.

He had taken my offering of the comic book readily, saying it was a collector's item. I honestly didnt care, it was useless to me, and if it got a bed for me to sleep in, all the better. I had barely gotten my gear stashed in the hotel room I'd been given, marveling at how well kept the red carpet in the hall was even given the circumstances, when I was mobbed by a group of kids all desperate to hear something from the mysterious traveler. Apparently news spreads fast here in Little York, and nothing was bigger news than someone showing up from a far away land,... even if that land was California.

The flood of children was only matched by their avalanche of questions, I looked around desperately for help, several parents stood a few feet away arms crossed and all smiles.

"Is it true that the entire country sank into the ocean over there?!"

"How did you make it all the way here?"

"Where did you come from!?"

"Is it anything like here!?"

Jeez, I think Id prefer to have my tongue cut out... I guided the herd of kids over to a sitting area near the lobby and proceeded to launch into a question and answer session that seemed to last for hours. My audience sat in stunned silence, absorbing every drop of information I gave them. I was careful to keep everything PG, dodging questions involving kill counts and the harder experiences in my journey, until at long last I was rescued by a voice calling out from the doorway.

"Alright children, I think our guest has had more than her fill for today, why don't you run along now and let her rest?" That voice... I could almost swear... It couldn't be... there was no way... I turned to face the source and felt tears welling up in my eyes.

The kids all awed but mercifully ran off outside, leaving me alone with my savoir, "Ash? I-I thought you were dead!" She was far more grizzled than the last time I'd seen her, her blonde hair tied back and a long scar running across her neck. There was a fire in her green eyes that I remembered had been more subdued, but all around, she was still the same Ashely I'd lost in Chicago. I ran up to her and almost tackled the averaged sized nurse.

"Well I was, technically. Its a long story." She hugged me back with as much vigor as I hugged her, "But if you want to hear it, you'll have to stop crushing me!" I apologized and released her, we found a couple of chairs in the sitting area and she launched into her thrilling tale.

As it turned out she had survived getting her throat cut, got taken captive by the retreating slavers, spent some time in the Pitt as a slave before being sent with an expedition on a slave train as the medical specialist. She was able to escape the train and ended up here. In the months it took me to catch up, she had made a name for herself in Little York by running the clinic and teaching others in medical practice. All of that didnt matter, because now, I had my best friend back.

* * * *

Praise the Gods!

Ashley was back, I didn't have to be alone in my journey anymore! That was, of course, if she felt like coming with me. I didnt outright ask her to join me. Instead choosing to enjoy a few hours wandering the small town greeting people Ash knew and talking about our past exploits. From our last second escape from Oakland, to Sergeant Slaughter in Reno, and even that crazy mormon cult in Salt lake. We laughed, I laughed, real genuine laughter, for possibly the first time in months. All the while on the verge of tears.

I just couldn't believe it! Id watched her get her throat bisected in front of a crowd... but Id never seen a body. I had the decency not to ask her the particulars of her experience with the slavers, as I bore my own scars and could draw a pretty good picture for myself.

Eventually, we came to her clinic. It was set into what had once been a veterinary office, with many of the facilities jury rigged for human use. When we showed up, her staff were starting to close up for the night and discussing dinner plans. Things that were totally alien to me.

I found myself outcast, for so long the only other human beings Id interacted with had been my enemies. This display of civilization was simply over my head. A small part of my brain recalled that not too long ago, I had lived directly in the center of a bustling city full of people, that I had been trying to get a job designed specifically for interacting with other people. Oh how the times had changed.

They smiled at me and shook my hand, names were exchanged, but I kept catching myself planning escapes, evaluating how dangerous a person might be, and how to kill them as fast as possible. What had I become? Some kind of primal killing machine? I shook my head to clear it, drawing attention to myself.

"Hey, Lyra, are you ok?" Ash asked me after pulling us off to the side, a note of concern in her voice.

I ran my fingers through my hair and hesitated, "Yeah, just, being around a lot of people is difficult for me."

Something clicked behind her eyes and her face shifted to warm understanding, "Oh, I'm sorry, being alone for so long," She hugged me gently, "It must be a massive culture shock." I pulled away and she took a step back, "Take as much time as you need, I understand."

A grateful smile spread across my face and I thanked her before she turned and walked back into the clinic's reception area to join into the spirited conversation that was taking place there.

After a quick breather I strode out with new vigour. The staff had many questions for me, and every time one would stray close to a sore spot, Ashely would quickly steer the conversation away from it. The night passed faster than I thought possible and with a belly full of steaks courtesy of Ash, I waved goodbye to my friends associates and was alone with her again.

It must have been close to midnight by the time we got back to my hotel. Another energetic and almost hesitant hug later, I was alone again in my room. I stood there, in the middle of the room, for what felt like hours. Just yearning, craving the social interaction I had been so adverse to earlier that night. Until finally, I broke down and cried into a pillow on the solitary bed in the room.

When I woke up, I was still in my dirty fatigues curled up in the corner of my bed. My eyes stung from the crying, and I was sore all over from constant tossing and turning, but I managed to stumble into the shower with my clothes on.

The water was freezing, but it was running water. Something that I wasnt about to pass up in this day and age, regardless of if I couldn't feel my face anymore. Once I felt sufficiently cleansed, I hung my soaked uniform on a towel rack and wrapped myself in a towel, shivering fervently. Retreating to the warmth of several comforters, I reflected on my latest bad decision.

I was deep into planning a daring trip to get my coat when a soft knock sounded at the door. From the safety of my blanket fort I yelled for them to go away, only for my door to click open and in walked Ashley. She carried with her some relatively clean, and more importantly dry, clothes. "I see you've discovered the running water." She poked her head into the bathroom, "Good thing I brought you a present." Still only clad in my towel, I greedily took the clothes and put them on while she turned her back, "Your clothes last night seemed a little dirty, I was going to offer to have them washed, buuuut it looks a little like you've taken care of the problem yourself."

She had given me a simple long sleeve blue button down, jeans, and some underwear, thank the gods! I was dressed in thirty seconds and ready to go outside in a minute, "Thanks Ash, can always count on you to have my back." I choked out through chattering teeth.

She smiled, "Oh you know it girl."

We went to breakfast, and I was surprised to see Sheriff Weatherbee kicking her feet up at the dinner we were eating at.

"What? A woman cant take a day or two off every now and then? Ain't like the town is burning down or anything." I felt a little silly for asking her why she wasnt working, but that made sense. The security people should be able to handle a day without her. Another day came another round of people mobbing me for information on the outside, but by this point I was well versed in the matter and was able to handle myself somewhat decently in the face of so many clamboring for answers.

At about midday, I returned to my hotel room and gathered my things. Ash had told me to keep the clothes in case I ever needed spares, so I packed them away and donned my tried and true camies. All my crap accounted for, I headed for the town gates.

Ashley met me there, patiently waiting for me to lock down my weapons, commenting about how Penance was still by my side even now. Then it was time to leave. I turned to Ash, who despite her cool exterior I could tell was holding back tears. "You know, I wanted to invite you to come with me."

She just looked at me with a sad smile, tears freely flowing down her face, "And I was going to invite you to stay." We didnt need words to explain how that would have gone. She had a practice here, she was helping a whole community with her knowledge of medicine, asking her to abandon all of that would be cruel of me. Likewise however, I couldn't stay. I needed to get to Boston, to see my parents, anyone from my family. At this point, it was less of a hope that I would see them and more of an obsession to reach what I had been striving for for so long. I couldn't stop when I was so close, and Ash knew it.

We lived in two seperate worlds, her and I. She helped people, healed them, eased their pain. But me, I killed them. I caused pain. I had no place in civilization anymore, and Ash knew that too. I could see it in the way her sad green eyes met my own. I was a killer, there was no changing that, and she very much wanted to try. Maybe if things were different... but they weren't. And this was the way it had to be, even as the tears froze on my own cheeks, I knew that this was likely the last time I would ever see Ash.

That was the exact moment Ash decided to surprise me. In a movement faster than I had ever imagined her capable of, she grabbed my head and pulled me in for a kiss. Too stunned to do anything, I returned it instinctively. Then we broke apart and she ran back through the gates, leaving me standing there, looking like a dumbass.

What the hell just happened?