See, Be

/See, Be/

In the darkness I see
The way I should be
How everyone wants
I don't wanna be

In the rain drops I see
The pain of you and me
The wind howling
I don't wanna see

When Hell freezes over and my fire's gone out
Than I'll see, than I'll be
Until that day, I'll wait under the tree
Until you see

In the miasma of my inadequacies
I can't see, can't breathe
In the face of your mistakes
I'm losing myself, such high stakes

Like double jeoperdy, our lives go round
Russian roulette, a funeral tune with no sound
You're drowning in yourself, you can't touch the ground
But you still don't see how you really should be

In your face I see
How I never want to be
The slope getting steeper
As I realize that I really don't want to see, but I still don't wanna be me
 

Reviews

[Shavian]

I enjoyed it. I know I'm that sick. Your words hold a certain awe when wrapped inside your greif. This is how I see your poem: Longing to be with the one you love, who can't understand his feelings. You don't want to be who you are, but also you know that who you are is what your meant to be. Am I right?

[Slithering Angel]

I can't believe it took me what, two years, to respond to your review. Your words are absolutely spot on. I am proud to say, "You're right."

[Natasha]

You have a way with words, the poem flowed really nicely. It was very natural and not forced like some poems are. I could see this as a lyrical song also.

[Pi Cee]

I love trees...

[Slithering Angel]

Well, don't we all? ;-)

[Pi Cee]

Not as much as me if you can't catch their character with your pencil and make a little home for it on the paper.

[Pi Cee]

Of course I like to add rain.

[Slithering Angel]

lol The rain is my favorite part, honestly.

[Pi Cee]

It's a tough pick, but I don't think I could dance on a tree.

[Slithering Angel]

Very true, but you can dance with both at once.

[Pi Cee]

I like that image. With the wind blowing, lightning flashing in my eyes... I wish I could draw that.

[Slithering Angel]

I wish I could draw period. Instead, I draw the picture with words, which I find to be just as satisfying if not more so. ;-)

[Pi Cee]

Oh it definitely is.

[Slithering Angel]

Then we're happily agreed. :-)

[Pi Cee]

We are. =)

[Priscilla Sayers]

A place where we have all dwelled at one time or another. Your piece, crafted well, depicts how being who you are can be the hardest to achieve... Well done.

[Slithering Angel]

Thank you for the review. I really appreciate it.

[Priscilla Sayers]

My pleasure.