"David and Jonathan's poetic hunting trip: Part 1"

a poetry collaboration with my good friend Dukovan http://www.writerscafe.org/dukovan He should be posting part 2 momentarily and feel free to show him some love on his fantastic other writing

part 1
I have a poem in my head that started forming as i walked downstairs
and into the kitchen:
my poem will no longer show her face in this town; she is not a liar,
a thief or a w***e; She cracked the wrong tiny, fragile eggshell mind
and the wrong colored yolk spilled out into the wrong pan...we thought
we heard the snicker of god buried in the subharmonic underbelly
of the sizzling. I've always felt like I had a Jim Morrison side
to me but never tapped into it. I wonder how a back and forth dialogue
would go? Lets start out collaborating with writing. But still keeping
it prose-like. We can call the endeavor "the feast of friends"
or "awkward instant"...*ding* time to flip.
just off the top of my head

Instantly I felt my hands in the pulp, three years to the date since I last sailed the ship.
Every breakfast since, I've been living with it.
We flip the switches from studio days of haves and have-nots
strobing the pupils and whites.
And Ireland is in your eyes. Eating away the emerald city with time.
But my vinyl is speaking in silence,
telling me what to do, wake me when its over,
for now the sounds say to not move.
God damn, I'm tired of f*****g around.
Start finding some friends between the cement and the clouds,
How to live with it, how to get high,
this space between the ground and the sky.
Me too.

Author's Note

we each kind of wrote a stanza..as in part two

Reviews

[Muse]

Clever analogies and use of metaphors.

my poem will no longer show her face in this town; she is not a liar,
a thief or a w***e; She cracked the wrong tiny, fragile eggshell mind
and the wrong colored yolk spilled out into the wrong pan

"You are apparently a deep thinker when hungry?" lol

[Corset]

Friends make everything a little easier.

[Shmoke-Sifted Heftlander]

well many things..IDK about everything, but yes, an improvement

[dukovan]

http://www.writerscafe.org/writing/dukovan/1213698/

[Emily B]

oh, i saw the title and expected one thing, and found something entirely different which shouldn't totally surprise me, it is wonderful stuff

[Shmoke-Sifted Heftlander]

I am happy on both counts..it's fun to merge styles and minds..perhaps another ripple in the field type thing is in order again :)

[dukovan]

http://www.writerscafe.org/writing/dukovan/1213698/