Moonlight Madness

Moonlight Madness

A Poem by Becca
"

For a Vicious Circle Challenge

"

 

Moonbeam decanter dispensed her shine
Splashing a mantle on mossy sweet ground

Swaying pines slowly boughed out of line
When the Waltz of Wind issued the sound


Our minds ran away in childlike sneaking
To secluded commune with nature’s master

But a dervish of spirits unleashed such freaking
Uninhibited pines squealed around us faster


With wild hearts pressing onward in hope
Hunkering we scurried down on all four
Stopping, dropping and rolling we grope
Giggling because our jeans were tore


Showers of awe in life's sparkling champagne
Drenched forest innocents in gushing refrain

 

© 2008 Becca


Author's Note

Becca
The Forum Challenge was to use the following in order at the end of each line: Shine, ground, line, sound, sneaking, master, freaking, faster, hope, four, cope, tore, champagne and refrain.

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Featured Review

Showers of awe in life's sparkling champagne
Drenched forest innocents in gushing refrain

These two lines summed it up for me, beautifully written, loved it, fastly paced with fluidity that strikes as the decanter of champagne highlights the gushing refrain. beautiful imagery of the woods mingling in with that of a party, beautiful.

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

A world filled with movement!

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Showers of awe in life's sparkling champagne
Drenched forest innocents in gushing refrain

These two lines summed it up for me, beautifully written, loved it, fastly paced with fluidity that strikes as the decanter of champagne highlights the gushing refrain. beautiful imagery of the woods mingling in with that of a party, beautiful.

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Oh, I really like this! Knowing the rules of the challenge, I think you did a fabulous job! It's interesting to see how everyone else did with this challenge, and I think your choice of theme was playful, yet slightly serious. I liked it alot. Great job!

VC5

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This reminds me of being a kid in woods at night. I wonder if there's a bear in one of those squealing pines. Had to add this to my favs!

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Awesome imagery, I love the phrase, "Waltz of Wind". I really enjoyed this piece.

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

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T
Great use of those words to form a wonderful poem!!! You ran with the challenge!!!!

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Wow! I love what you did with this difficult challenge, Becca! This is a great poem!

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Maybe it's because of the formula to the challenge, but the poem seemed to be abandoned far too soon. I'd like to see what you could do with this if you were not bound by those rules. Don't get me wrong, it's wonderfully written. It's just that I think so much more could have been added to the piece without the guide rails.

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Lovely poem, you dictating its path not the challenge words. The first stanza stands most beautifully on its own.

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This has become a personal favorite of mine. To cut through all the personal memories it brings, I love how you painted the scene with words, brought the trees, the wind, to life. Wonderfully done.

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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14 Reviews
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Added on July 22, 2008
Last Updated on July 27, 2008

Author

Becca
Becca

PA



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