Sorry

This is about my aunt because I began to notice that our relationship is deteriorating. I lived in California but moved to Texas when I was 8. I moved back at 14 yrs and lived w/my grandma for 2 yrs.

Excitement coiling in my stomach as I see you get out of the car,
I run to give you a hug as though you were my favorite movie star,
The light shines bright around you and all I can focus on is your painted red lips breaking into a grin,
Looking like you never committed a sin.

From my perspective you are a tall giant,
An outgoing person who is self reliant,
The charisma drips off of you like melting chocolate,
I stay near you to try and catch a droplet.

Alone alone alone.
The loneliness seeps off of me and everyone can feel it,
A phone call from you changes how the day goes,
Just the sound of your voice makes me feel whole again.

My shoes don't fit anymore.

Things are different yet the same,
Perhaps the couch is to blame.

I call you crying and you come,
That was the day I became numb,
A wall began to be built,
To guard from the rejection, hurt, and guilt.

My clothes don't fit quite right anymore.

Inside myself I began to travel,
The world around me starts to unravel,
"Shh, be very quiet," I would always remind myself
"Nobody wants to hear you".

The world looks different and so do you,
I notice the tenseness in posture and fake smiles too,
Family parties begin to feel more like a hoax to seem loving and as though nothing is wrong,
When the list of concealed hurts and arguments is painfully long.

How could I not see it before? I wipe my glasses.

Rudeness seems to be my mouth's favorite flavor,
I say what I want to seem braver,
But I internally kick myself when I say something mean,
The coward in me holds back from apologizing.

My bangs are too long.

I look at you and don't know what to say anymore,
I tell you what I think and you look at me like I am an alien,
My heart is sore and I wish to be 7 again,
I don't know how to say I love you.

Sorry

Author's Note

Please give any type of feedback :)

Reviews

[fwvalidus]

Good poem, it illustrates the difficult situation very well. I wonder though why you choose to rhyme at times and then decide otherwise for other stanzas/lines. I enjoy some of the rhyming, but I will remind you a poem never has to rhyme! Makes sure you can still get across your message, make sure your rhyming scheme does not take away from content you wish you could include if only it could rhyme!

Try to condense these two lines, the fact that they are so much longer than all the other lines in the poem disturbs the flow in my mind:
"Family parties begin to feel more like a hoax to seem loving and as though nothing is wrong,
When the list of concealed hurts and arguments is painfully long. "

I invite you to take a look at some of my writing as well :)