Flashbacks

Flashbacks

A Poem by Sneha R

Now that you left, I'm unpredictable.

I get the flashbacks, strong and electrifying as

your hand closed around my neck,

no longer in service,

harder to recognize is that

you are no longer in service.

But i keep waiting here

the drunk girlfriend who never seemed to care,

or the one who loved you with all her heart.

Now that you're gone, my mind is a twist and turn

down streets I'd rather not trod,

down alleys I wish I'd never been pushed into.

© 2013 Sneha R


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This speaks to the reader... a feeling of torment and the gratification of the end is a memory replaying in your mind... like a record skipping on a needle... I would suggest taking out and replacing a word in these lines:

I get the flashbacks, strong and electrifying as
I get flashbacks, strong and electrifying as

no longer in service,
harder to recognize is that
you are no longer in service.

no longer in service,
harder to recognize is
you are a disservice.

Now that you're gone, my mind is a twist and turn
Now you're gone, my mind is a twist and turn

These are suggestions... do what you may with your words... Good day!

Posted 10 Years Ago



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1 Review
Added on April 30, 2013
Last Updated on April 30, 2013

Author

Sneha R
Sneha R

London



About
I believe the only way to expel emotions is by writing of them. If you want to leave a review, make it honest. I would like real review of my work, not my characterI believe that writing made me a bet.. more..

Writing
Her presence Her presence

A Story by Sneha R