The Day America Died -rewrite-

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Day America Died

By: Adam M. Snow

 

This is the day America has died,

it is a day for mourning; a time to hide.

The children's are crying,

for their love ones who's dying.

This is the day,

our freedom's stripped away.

 

We forgotten, 'One nation under God'?

Yet it was Him who we outlawed.

This truly is a sadden day;

for America, I must say,

"Tainted we are with bloodshed sin

forgotten the message with iron pen;

'that all men are created equal'

lost are we, forever sinful."

 

This is the day America has died;

to the people, the President's lied.

The children's are hungry,

even the blind can see

how our great nation has fallen,

and how our freedom is stolen.

What about, 'We the people'

I guess we lost our soul.

We should be united,

instead we're divided.

 

What about our flag under fire;

the red, white, and blue we once admired?

tainted by the lies, spat upon the people;

but whom to say, shallow we've become to fall.

What was once 'the Land of the Free'

now is 'the Land of the Greed.'

There's just so much I wish to say,

it seems America has died this very day.

 

We lost our courage to fight,

bowed down in shame, we've lost our sight.

We've became the puppet that we are;

controlled from a distance, great and far.

Afraid to speak, for Death may follow;

subsequently afraid what lurks in the shadow.

Afraid to lend a helping hand,

to help the fallen proudly stand.

 

We forgotten the meaning behind this once great nation;

cowering in fear, we refuse salvation.

We curse the true Americans, the ones who's dying,

fighting through bloodshed; their families are crying.

We've let putrid lyrics taint our youth,

leaving this country with forgotten truth.

We've become weak; no more are we strong,

This ain't the America where I belong.

 

Reviews

[TL Boehm]

We forgotten the meaning behind this once great nation;
cowering in fear, we refuse salvation.
We curse the true Americans, the ones who's dying,
fighting through bloodshed; their families are crying.
We've let putrid lyrics taint our youth,
leaving this country with forgotten truth.
We've become weak; no more are we strong,
This ain't the America where I belong.

Standing ovation.

[Kaylor Mason]

I COMPLETELY agree with you, sir, and I admire your courage and conviction to write this. You and I think a lot alike--politically, anyway. (I could've sworn I've seen this before--I think I may have read the original)

[Bridget Murphy]

So true! with communism coming in, and all the other problems going on, this country's going down the drains.
Loved the poem, and can not wait to read more!

[Levi Levin]

This is a really good sum of problems from within. During the 1950's a Russian leader stood in one of our cornfields and stated how that they will destroy America from within. We have seen a lack of concern for morality of this great society. I recall years ago when men would respect women and not say certain things around a woman. Now it seems most dont care. One thing I believe in is, "We must be the change that we want to see in the world."

Good job!

[Erin Thomas]

It's not exactly an optimistic view of our future. I understand why one would think this way, but what can you expect? Our world is changing, not just the U.S. The Global Financial Crisis of 2008 left many countries drowning not just us. Countries in subsaharan Africa still do not have access to clean water, North Korea is still terrifyingly isolationist, child soldiers are utilized throughout the world, 27 million slaves still exist today, over 60,000 people have died in Syria from their civil war. I don't think this is an issue of America. We were once the greatest, but then all of the other countries began relying on us for help, and we came in for the rescue. Now, we continue to help. That is not a problem, but with poor leadership that has made poor decisions in the past, politicians who have ignored the looming debt crisis for year, and people who will not settle for any solution, we are now in trouble. There will always be adversity and America will never be the same, but it's no one person's problem. It's the world's, politician's, and the American people's problem. We cannot blame one person. Things will change, and we might never go back to being the most powerful country in the world, but times change. That's how to world works. We will have to work with what we have. Good poem, though. It brings up lots of thoughts.

[Aeneas Barton]

I am always a fan of political writing, poetry, not so much; however I must say this was quite well written. I am curious to know, why the rewrite? Was the original too harsh? maybe too soft? There are some references I wouldn't mind seeing more developed. Like the iron pen, or the putrid lyrics. It almost seems to me that you could turn this into an epic. Each new poem focusing on a different aspect of the piece of America that you feel is dying, if not already dead. This poem could almost serve as an overture, or prelude to some longer piece.

[Adam M. Snow]

The original had lots of typos and errors and I may make it longer in the future

[Coyote Poetry]

We ain't done yet. We survived the depression, WW1 and WW2. We are a mix of many people in the USA. I served in the military for 15 years. We can become one force of change when necessary. Us in the USA will soon learn. We had enough of waste and government. People forget the seventies. After Vietnam. 5 bad years. Car companies fold and came alive again. Freedom is worth fighting for. Bad leaders will always be there. We have a bunch of weak leaders. Leaders need to work together and fix problems. Not blame the other. It will be better days. A powerful poem. Hard to see a positive world when we are led by greedy and rich men and woman. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and the excellent poetry.
Coyote