Half A Million Dollars!

A poor girl with no friends and attends high school. Suddenly, an event happens that changes her life...

Half a Million Dollars

 

“Don’t worry,” said the teacher trying to convince me, he turned around to face the whole class, “Only Elizabeth doesn’t need to donate the money for the poor and unfortunate people. Everyone else has to bring as much money as possible to donate by tomorrow or there will be severe punishments for the whole class.” “Ha ha ha!” laughed Andrew �" the meanest bully in the class, “Bethy obviously doesn’t need to donate! She is a poor person herself! Poor people don’t donate to poor people!” He sticks out his tongue out at me, everyone starts laughing. “Quiet!” yelled Mr. Anderson, “Elizabeth is doing her best! Her test results are better than all of you! One more word from you and you are all staying here after school for detention!” Everyone went quiet, well at least, sort of. “Okay, homeroom’s over, you may go now.” Mr. Anderson announced. Finally, I’ve been waiting forever for school to end! Although I’m already used to everyone making fun of me and my wealth, but it is still very upsetting when you have no friends you can talk to and rely on. I ran home as fast as possible knowing exactly what I have to do next.

 

“I’m home, mom, I’m going to head out for my part time job!” I yelled hoping mom has heard me. “Okay, daring! Just don’t forget you are still a 13 year old high school student so don’t let anyone find out you are under-age! It was really hard work for me to get you that job as a helper in the supermarket. Also, don’t forget to change and put on make-up to make you look like you are an 18 year old!” Mom just doesn’t understand how hard it is for a young child like me to work at this young age. I have to work hard on both my studies and my part time job in order to keep everything in this family running smoothly. It’s not just the grocery I have to pay for, but also the monthly rent for this apartment I’m living in with mom! I tried to clear up my head as I rushed off after taking a while to put on the make-up stuff. It wouldn’t be very pleasing if I’m late to the part time job.

 

“You’re finally here!” yelled the owner of the supermarket, “It seems that you are two minutes late! Hurry up and start working!” The owner is not normally like this, but I guess he’s in a bad mood again; he has always been in a bad mood lately. I started work immediately. “Would you like some help?” I asked as politely as possible to the customer to hide the fact I’m under-aged, “if you need my help by any chance, please don’t hesitate to ask me.” The customer who was staring into the empty space hesitated, and then said, “I know you, you are Elizabeth Bonnet from Melbourne mixed High School, right?” “Huh?” I said in shock, “how do you know me? Ah…” I began to whisper, “Please don’t tell anyone about this, I beg of you! I know should be over eighteen years old, but I’m doing this all for the sake of me and my mom.” “I know all about that. Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone about this, but in exchange, I’d like to swap these clothes for a bottle of milk, my family is very hungry and yet we don’t have any money, so I wish to use these clothes to trade for milk.” I was still staring in astonishment; I couldn’t believe this unknown man would know so much or even anything about me!

 

I thought for a minute a decided I would help the man, after all, I could work harder to earn this extra two dollars worth of milk. The man took out a suitcase and opened it to show me the clothes he brought to trade, they were very old and very dirty looking clothes and it seems to be all for males. Since my dad passed away before I was even born, there aren’t any males in my family. As I handed the milk over to the man, I realized that his shoulders were really big and wide, and he is wearing a windcheater in such a boiling day! Isn’t it so weird? Just for a second when he grabbed the milk, I spotted fluffy white feathers under his windcheater where his big broad shoulders were, it looked really unusual even if it’s for some kind of strange cosplay. I picked up the suitcase and turned around wanting to give it back to him since I really don’t need it, but by the time I turned around, he had already disappeared. “What a strange man I met,” I said to myself on the way back from work, “he gave me this bunch of old clothes I don’t need for a bottle of milk. Maybe I should wash these clothes and give it to someone who needs them. Mom wouldn’t be too happy if she found out I traded a bottle of milk worth of two dollars for these old clothing.”

 

By the time I arrived home, it was already dark outside. Mom left a note on the table saying she had an important issue to resolve, and left my dinner in the fridge. I quickly gobbled down my dinner and went to wash the clothes the strange man gave me. When I picked up the suitcase, I felt that something was different about it; could it just be me or could the suitcase weigh less than when I brought it home? I pulled open the zip to find out what happened to it, but not even I could believe what was in front of me, it was not those old and dirty looking clothes, but money �" and tons of it! The money was all tied up in equal piles as I counted one pile and used my math skills to find out how much there was altogether… “Half a million dollars!” I screamed. I stood still in disbelief; how could a bunch of old clothes turn into so much money? I thought again, could it be that the strange man gave me wrong suitcase? No, that couldn’t be possible. I clearly saw that he only had one suitcase in his hands when he was in the shop. Also, if he did have so much money, he wouldn’t need to trade the clothes for a bottle of milk. Either way, this money does not belong to me; I’ll have to figure out a way to return it…

 

“I’m back!” mom called closing the door behind her, “Darling, have you eaten dinner yet?” “Yeah…” I was still thinking whether or not I should tell mom about this. What would she say after hearing that I traded a bottle of milk for a bunch of old clothes which mystically turned into half a million dollars? Would she scold me for taking someone else’s property or for trading the milk? Or would she want to keep the money? Or maybe she would insist that I’m lying to her about where the money came from? Even worse, would she believe that I stole it…? I wouldn’t want any of that to happen, so maybe I should hide this from mom. I really don’t like hiding stuff from my family, but perhaps this is the best solution there is. I quickly ran into the small living room where I put the suitcase and took it into my room where mom couldn’t possibly find. Mom never comes into my room since she understands what you call ‘privacy’ and she trusts me to clean the room every once a week.

 

There is no way I could find that man again. Besides, I don’t even think the money belongs to him! But I can’t just keep the money, it’s not mine in first place and I don’t want to turn into a selfish person just because of it. Suddenly, an idea popped into my head; why can’t I donate the money to the poor people instead? Even though I’m a poor person myself, there are many people who need the money more than me and are struggling to survive without food or shelter. If I need more money, I could just try harder to earn it myself since I have a chance to. Anyways, it’s not like it won’t do me any good, I could show that meanie Andrew that even poor people like me can donate more than him! I’ll be pretty satisfied see his priceless face when he hears about it. Maybe I could even make a few friends and show everyone that I’m not as poor as they think. Ah, I am so excited for tomorrow! From now on, I would be looking forward to going to school every day and have fun with everyone else just like a normal student!

Author's Note

Hope you enjoyed this! Please tell me areas I could improve in if any. ^-^ Thanks for reading!

Reviews

[SylphXanas]

Hello SnowRabbit,
There is one thing I would like to point out, when someone new talks, it's easier to read if you start a new paragraph.
It gives the reader a chance to understand someone new is talking. It also help the flow of the story.
I did enjoy the story though, keep going.

[SnowRabbit]

Thank you so much for the review! I used your advice on my other story. I'm really glad that you enjoyed it (though I'm not sure whether or not you were just saying that to make me happy...) XD Either way, thank you so much! ^u^

[SylphXanas]

What I said has nothing to do with kindness, remember, what you love to do is the best thing for you.
Man, I've been doing counselling and I thing the class is getting to me.
Never mind, you are good and don't forget it.

[Harry Alston]

I think besides from tackling a few nice political and social points, this is written almost to the point of being over-detailed. The paragraph where the mother is talking to the girl when she first arrives home includes various details about her job and the fact she has to put make up on to look 18. It's almost like these have been shoe-horned into the story. A shame, but it definitely ruined my immersion.

Just practice on what the readers doesn't read. I think in a lot of cases, that's more important than what they can.

[SnowRabbit]

Hello Harry Alston. First of all, I'd like to thank you for reading and reviewing this story. I'm really glad about your straight-forwardness in telling me areas to improve in so that next time I could do better. I'd think that maybe I've failed in trying to make the reader enjoy the story. However, I hope my message (donate to the poor etc.) has came across to all the readers who've read it. It's seems strange but the extra-details I've included in the writing actually are quite significant to the story in a way. I needed to bulid up the characteristic of the main girl character in how hard-working and how far she goes to keep her family going. I wanted her to be the type of girl everyone can look up to... But maybe I could've expressed it in a different manner which wouldn't make it 'shoe-horned' into the story.
Woah! I spent too long on the reply again!!! *sigh* I've still got to do an assignment that's due tomorrow... Never mind me.
Anyways, thanks again! I'll make sure to use your advice for future reference! ^-^

[Marie]

This is good but not realistic; perhaps it isn't expected to be. No poor girl would donate half a million dollars to poor people when she could use it herself.And perhaps you should explain why a 13 year old girl is having to pass for 18 so she can work. Why is she paying the rent on this apartment? What does her mother do?
You're able to write; you don't make mistakes. But you need practice.

[SnowRabbit]

Well, I guess that's pretty true. However, I believe there are people out there (if they're in this situation) who are nice enough to donate half a million dollars despite the fact that they're poor. Not all people are selfish (and I know you don't see many these days) but the main purpose for me writing this story was to convey this message: "If the poor are willing to donate the money that keeps them alive, why can't the rich at least donate half of their fortune?" I was inspired by Severn Cullis-Suzuki if you don't mind watching her 6 minute video:
http://www.democracynow.org/2012/6/21/at_rio_20_severn_cullis_suzuki
And also by an poor old lady in the bible who donated 1 dollar (penny) to the church but donated more than all the rich men/women because she depended on that 1 dollar to live and yet she practically donated her life for the others. This tells us that sometimes the poor can do more and are wiser than the rich (I don't mean any offense by this but sometimes this is just purely true). I wish the rich would do the same, after all, they don't donate even when they don't need the money. All of us should deserve to be equal. (This is all said the the clip I mentioned before, sorry for repeating.)
But it is true on how you said parts of the storyline isn't really clear. Sorry about that, I guess I expected a little too much from the readers. In the story, I've mentioned that her family is poor, that's why she has to earn more money for her family to run smoothly. As she is a very considerate girl, she doesn't want to rely on her mother to do all the work so she's at least helping out to earn money. Most 'good' part-time jobs are for 18 yrs and above, that's why she has to go so far to do the make up and stuff. This is also mentioned in the story: Her mother left a note on the table saying she has an important issue to resolve and left dinner in the fridge signifies that her mother is very busy and also does some kind of work. All mothers have to do house work right? It's really hard for a women to take care of her child alone (says so in paragraph 4).

Okay, I really gotta get going with my homework... *looks at time* Oh no! Only 2 hours left!!! *Scurries off*
Sorry, I spent too much time on this reply, thank you for your review! ^-^

[Marie]

You make good points with this. Of course, I would not donate half million dollars to the poor, and I could be considered selfish. But you're right; the poor can do a great deal, even being poor.