Bleeding Dawn

Just a poem I strung together between classes, but it's one of my favorites.

Across the hope-spread sky

A bleeding dawn arrives

To weep the day anew

And from those anguished tears appears

A fluttering dream of peace

Abiding time to wake

And cleanse the bleeding dawn

Of poisoned memories

Across the hope-spread sky

Is streaming poisoned blood

Blotting out the peaceful promise

Yet the cleansing dream lives on

To fill the sky with hope

Of a bright new dawn

Author's Note

I would really like to hear some opinions on it.

Reviews

[Mark]

Altogether, a very well crafted piece, with beautiful allegory and metaphor use. Because you have asked me, I will suggest a few clarifications you might wish to consider, bearing in mind that they are but one man's opinion.
"Hope-spread" should be hyphenated. If you wish to use "Across the hope-spread sky" twice, there should be a stanza break after "memories". I would look for a different adjective for one of the uses of "bleeding dawn", as well as a different phrase than "poisoned blood" in the following line--just too much blood going on here! Also some clarification as to WHY it is bleeding: RED, as is the manner of dawns, or ANGRY, associated with red, or WOUNDED, suggesting your doubt that the day would survive, or merely RAINING, as bleeding often involves drippage.

[Global Norskie]

I like your style of poetry. More thoughtful and symbolic than many of the other poems on this site. I particularly like the originality of this one. well done :)

[Manda]

Oh I really enjoyed this. It was plain and simple. Not to long but not too short just right. I loved the way you made it flow and the way you ended it off. =) I like the words you chose and the way described it. You have great potential keep it up!

Look forward to reading more of your amazing creative writing =)

Well done =)

[Courtney]

I like the use of repetition, nicely done. "A fluttering dream of peace/Abiding time to wake" I like how the dream "flutters" and the phrase "abiding time"

The dream seems to be delicate, yet determined. I really enjoyed this, thank you.

[A.Sessions]

I love the flow and creativity in this piece.