Was It Worth It?

This is a monologue that is based off of a true story with some fictional elements to it.

Astrid: I hope it was worth it to listen to Miry. I know what she did to you. She has always hated me even when I did nothing wrong. She kept pushing for you to cut me off. She lied about me. She told you that I would kill you. She begged you to get rid of me but when you finally did you ripped my heart out. You didn’t just take away my safe space, you completely demolished it. You used your fame to hurt me. You talked s**t behind my back to my friends. You thought I would never find out but yet I did. That hurt me. It destroyed all the progress on my mental health I have made. All the years of putting my heart and soul back together is just gone. It’s almost as if it never happened. I hope it was worth it for you to cause the destruction of me. I am just an empty shell. I hope it was worth it for you to sacrifice my own mental health for Miry’s benefit. She’s happier without me and that hurts. I’ve supported you since day 1 and this is the thanks I get. Just cut off and blocked with seemingly no reason. I hope it was worth it for you to lose all of your most loyal fans. They all took my side as you promised me you would be there for me but here we are. I sit over here in pain and you and Miry are happy. You were better off without me anyways. I hope it was worth it for you to know that your actions caused me harm. All of these scars that you see are what you have caused me. This is nowhere near all of them though. There are some internally as well. The scars from my heart being ripped out are deep and irreparable. I hope that was worth it for you. I really do. I used to be “One of your favorite subscribers.” But now I’m the first one gone. The first member. The first true fan who became a moderator. The one who was always there. The one who always commented. The first one to buy merch. I was the first for mostly everything. But Miry didn’t care. She filled your head with propaganda. Now what will I do without you? I cared about you. I was there for you. Now I am just a memory. A memory that will soon cease to exist. You will never know I’m gone. Miry will be happy and you will be too. I really hope this was worth it. I guess I should have listened to my gut. You never cared but I just couldn’t see that in you. I should have listened to my gut. I hope it was worth it for you. You lost a loyal fan today along with many others. We will never go back to you. Miry is an awful human being. I don’t care that Miry is your girlfriend. The only thing she is good at is putting others down. You both have made me cry and humiliated me. Was it worth it? (pause) I just want to know if it was worth it! Are you happy now? (pause and sit) No wonder why people hate you. Your community is built on a base of hate. I hope this is what you wanted. I’m beginning to fade away now. (place head down and whisper) Goodbye.

Author's Note

ignore grammar problems