Who am I

A poem of my struggle in life

 

                                     I

Behind a happy face is a story filled with pain,   

A story with no true outline… a story filled with rain.

Stuck in a world… it is what it seems,

Locked up emotions, become my nightmare dreams.

Darker than a night on all hollows eve,

Continuing to haunt, will they ever leave?

                             II

Smiling every day to hide away his pain,

 Even behind his sunshine smile, hangs a dark cloud filled with rain.

Walking on my own… Stuck in a dark cold world; moving ever so slow.

It’s just a path of life that many do not know.

As I turn to face the mirror… my reflection not me, but a confused little boy.

Tears run down my face…My reflection turns a blur as I turn to him and shout!

Whispering words of wisdom…  Gone now, what was he about?

Emotions run through my mind… I scream so loud with no one around.

The strident shouting bounces back at me and I fall to the ground.

                                                III

Blood runs down my hands ever so thick,

Is it an illusion I see… why is my mind playing a trick?

Lying there on the ground in a puddle full of confusion and sorrow,

What is to come now…Where will I end up tomorrow?

Angry emotions scamper around with emotions of rage,

I want to let those emotions loose… Like a dog trapped in a cage.

I have to be careful now… Too much is too great.

Enraged are my emotions, as they only begin to exacerbate.

      IV

Escape is my reality into a whole new world,

Grass becomes greener on the other side, a story we’ve all been told!

My emotions an enigma… abstruse of what may be approaching next.

I look at my pen and it moves to the text.

 Becomeing incoherent, eruditions’ disseminate through my mind.

What do these thoughts mean now, what can I find?                                     

           V

Disappearing, reappearing… Anger, lust, all but thoughts of confusion,

Running through my mind... Like a magician creating an illusion.

Anger is the hatred that I continue hold inside,

Such a callus emotion… As I continue to belie.

An inscrutable feeling, so convoluted I become lost.

Apathetic emotions, my heart turns to frost.

 

           VI

Lust is a sin that I cannot extirpate… But before you disparage of me, know that I am everything but staid.

Surreptitious efforts always on my mind... But can you blame a guy for wanting to get laid?

Darkness falls upon me like a fall October night… Everything black now, as I quiver with fright.

Cannot see the path in front of me; cloud ever so thick

Is my mind playing games again, or is it another trick?

          

 

VII

Confusion settles in, and everything disappears,

I think this cloud may be telling me to fear no evil, face all my fears.

I stand alone, there is no going back; I have gone too far now.

There’s no way around it…I must face my feelings somehow.

Screaming, fighting ignorance is bliss,

Caught in a downpour of emotions; everything but remiss.

           VII

People say that one person can change the word...  my subtle intent of altruism more eminent that the next.

 As long as I remain Ambivalent to my question, my feelings will remain in text.

With overwhelming tenacity, I will continue to grow.

 Can you figure out these surreptitious feelings… So listen closely and they will continue to show.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author's Note

I Wrote thos poem when I was in Iraq as it was what i was feeling, do you think it is to long to be a poem?

Reviews

[Sammy]

Hi,
Thats A Really Sad Poem But
Really Interesting To Read.
And No I Don't Think Its To Long To Be A Poem.
I Look Forward To reading More Of Your Writing.

Sammy-Jo (n_n)