All alone

how depression can feel

Sitting on my own in a room full of people
Quiet as a grave, sound washing over me like a wave as tall as a church steeple.
I'm alone in a sea of noise not connecting to the girls and boys.
No one understand where I'm coming from I don't know where I'm going to. Hope you don't think I'll be bowing to you.

Confusion reigns chaos is king why am I alone in a room full of people.

Failing connections sparking dread, like loose wires in my head, I'm struggling to imagine me alive,
Why do I struggle to get out of my bed. Dark thoughts float around my head, Why do I wish I were dead. Bad ideas bouncing back and forth do I give up and leave everyone and no one to mourn,
Don't want to tap out leave this world with a wimper.

Confusion reigns chaos is king why am I alone in a room full of people

Why can't I connect with everyone else
Why can't I make that special connection
Why do I just feel stress and tension
Got a lump in my throat can't breath can't catch my breath my hearts beating like bass drum feels like I'm trying to run away from my death. Images of my Flesh melting from my bones, worms and maggots crawling from my putrefying flesh.

Confusion reigns chaos is
king why am I alone in a room full of people

Trying to stop myself from raging like a demon, can't stand stupid people. Wrong time, wrong place my face doesn't fit, sometime you make me feel like I want to stab you, eradicate you remove you from your undeserved fate. I think I'm losing my s**t. Why is it never my time to make it, try hard, fighting battles like I'm from Asgard, need Thor's hammer to smash people who are undeserved stars in the pantheon of fakes and liars, Zeus's lighting bold to separate the wheat from the chaff.

Confusion reigns chaos is
king why am I alone in a room full of people

Time to roar like a lion, claw my way to where I deserve to be. Tooth and nail, fight against my adversary no matter who that is destroy them they will never have a clue, I'll become like the Spanish flu insidious and fatal for you.

I refuse to be overlooked, I refuse to be alone in a room full of people. I deserve to be heard I will rise like the Phoenix from the ashes and claim my place amongst the stars and be one of the chosen few.

Author's Note

Again what do you think?

Reviews

[LKBillips]

I think you meant Quiet as a grave? I really like the progression on this one. Full of piss and vinegar, not giving in, not backing down. Fighting your way through your own loneliness, starving for a connection. Beautiful and tragic sentiment. I liked it a lot!

[Spitzy]

Hi yes thanks for pointing out the errors, I miss the sometimes! Glad you enjoyed it.