Bed of Roses

Life is hard,
In pain I earn,
And in pain I spend,

Some do it to follow the trend,
I do because my emotions are always bent,

I know the end result is always bitter,
But with my eyes and heart wide open,
I wander into this land of bottles without taking time to ponder,

Life is hard,
And so, in my ocean of alcohol,
I swim harder,

I do it to take away my stress,
But every time I go down there,
I feel the pain heavier and it bangs harder,

What is happening to me,
I honestly do not know,
I want it no more,
But I cannot let it go,

Its bitter sweet,
Thorns and roses,
This bed of alcoholism pierces,
Injures,
And bruises me hard,
But still, I lie,
On my Bed of Roses.

Author's Note

Is there style in my writing and does my choice of vocabulary seem too immature and unpolished?