A Moment of 'If only.."

i just got this song stuck in my head, can't think of the name or who sings it, but it inspired this piece

 

perfect in a moment's stare

I am here nor there

still in a moment then I disappear

am I everything you thought I’d be?

am I a whisper in your dream?

can you hear me?

you walk on by

I smile and you smile back

my eyes say come here but you stay back

cause you know I’m nothing more than a dream

in a flash your hand holds mine

we’re laughing and counting time

until the moment ends

then we’re back on the streets again

if we dare to glance once more

we chance the moment stripped bare

but it’s too much to ignore

our eyes join and you take me there

we’re sipping wine on the rug

cups drop

we collide

rolling on the floor

till time…

ends

and I’m alone on the streets again

I stride tall and true

the faint scent of your perfume

takes me back to the moment we passed by

if only we had said hi

if only the time was right

Reviews

[fireblossom]

This idea of seeing someone and building an imaginary scene based on what if or I want seems to be part of the poets life. Occasionally I meet a woman who feels like I have known her all of my life. Like she's my mate but someone flashed a memory drain light and we forgot where we lived and that we lived there together. She seems so familiar and I can't help thinking she feels the same of me.

You captured the whole phenomenon in this wonderful poem.

[O!]

Im a dreamer and have many moments and i cherish them all........
u captured a moment really well........
i was all....aaaaaaahhhhhhh! ;-)

x,
O!

[[untitled]]

Nicely done. I was puzzled only by the opening 2 lines, which seemed like they should read "perfect in a moment's stare - I am neither here nor there." Did you omit the "neither" and make "moments" plural for a reason I'm missing?

[Dezaraye]

I really like the passion and imagery in this piece. The end has a wistful, longing feel to it and I like what that adds to the overall effect.

[Jenny Davis]

So much passion! I really like the mood this envokes as well as the idea of "a dream" and how if only the people weren't too shy or perhaps oblivious, the dream would become reality. Very nicely done! :)

[Emily B]

What a beautiful set of images, lonely and full all at the same time. This work has a wonderful lyrical quality. Thank you. For sharing.