Catacombs in Mind

                               

 

catacombs in mind

like branches of a tree

each one reaches to nothing

leaves glued on like cheap paper mache

a little tease of my finger tips and they give way

I laugh as I cry

Arms folded broken over my head

Legs bent at the knees

feet spread wide

smile pasted

mr potatoe head mosaic

pack it in as I silly putty spew it out

my assembly line mechanics

I was walking above my feet

until the will of my bones gave way

and I melted right there

on the concrete

you reached down to swipe your finger

across my wetness

like collected dust

how dare you take a piece of me

and turn your nose up

like I am unworthy

the day I hung myself

behind my property

in the family tree

outside the catacombs of my mind

you were watching me

judging me

pointing your finger

telling me where I was going

but I was already there

Author's Note

someone recently showed me how to add pictures to my pieces.. so just playing around a bit

Reviews

[Michael X]

I really like your style, powerful writing, this creates an emotional environment, and transports the reader to the catacombs, the haunting ambience, the feel of regret in the air, the depth conveys the nature of a product completed by ingredients, yet

broken by the very idea that brought it together, to imagine a tormented tree,
paper leaves swaying in the wind, struggling to stay alive, shows just how much the heart is willing to sacrifice for the cause or sake it believes in, heartfelt to

imagine what it is to be caught in a downward spiral, yet in every way knowing where the end result is going to be, convincing detail, this is touching. Nice Work.
Take Care, Mike

Favorite Lines:

catacombs in mind
like branches of a tree
each one reaches to nothing
leaves glued on like cheap paper machea
little tease of my finger tips and they give way
I laugh as I cry
Arms folded broken over my head
Legs bent at the knees
feet spread wide

[Robert Luna]

I love this piece. This is one of those things when I read it I was think Damn I wished I wrote that. I am in awe at all the imagery and such vivid details that played so perfectly in my minds eye. I think this is a great piece. I am so glad I had the chance to read it. I love the purity of it and the flowing lines of visual pleasures.


Great Job!!!!!!

[Rain]

This was a cool, macabre venture into your imagination. I liked the metaphors. This piece reminds why I came back. You still got it. :) Rain..

[Fran Marie]

A powerful, haunting piece taking the reader there

nicely illustrated with the graphics in grand presentation

I like this a lot~THanks for sharing this well crafted and creative write

~Fran Marie

[desertraven]

powerful piece. well done. Like the addition of the pictures :)
Sandi

[Deborah Leah Krempa]

Very well written poem. I like the part how dare you take a piece of me? Good job. Thank you for sharing. Debileah