You and I

We sit beneath the moonlight, you and I

And with love light, we stared into the shining stars

Through the luminous of moonbeam

And glittering stars,

I cast a glance into your facet;

With your smile that touches my heart,

And eyes that show all emotions.

Tonight, You and I

Sharing a moment of intuition

Just you and me

There's no one and nothing else

Breath passes through -

In and out

You smile. . . 

And blow a kiss next to mine.

Reviews

[Elisa]

Girl, you have a knack for love poems! I like this very much. I love that there are moments of passion, balanced with the sweetness of young, innocent love. Again, coming out of complete love and respect, there are just a few tiny things that you could do to make this poem even better. In line three, having, "Through luminous moonbeams" would make that line the same structurally as the next line, which will bring more continuity. Having continuity in poetry is very hard to do, and when people can do it, it's very impressive. (Just a side note, continuity is one of the hardest things for me when I write, so I feel a little bit hypocritical right now. But like I said, this is completely out of good intention, for you to make your writing even stronger.) Anyway, in line five, having, "I cast a glance into your *face" is one of those minor things you can change that will make a big difference. Overall, another great poem, perfect for Valentine's Day. Happy writing!

[Dshaman14]

Simple yet meaningful...
beautiful combination of words makes this a good read. Short and stark but the story it conveys can relate to a story several generations could relate too... good posting on a good day. Happy Valentines day haha