Short Fantasy Novel - First try - No title yet - I'd love some impressions.

Short Fantasy Novel - First try - No title yet - I'd love some impressions.

A Story by Stember
"

A short fantasy novel, fastpaced, action and cliffhanger. Might continue it, looking for feedback. This is the first time i write something i finish ;;à

"

He felt a solid hard cold around his fists, he tried to move his fingers, they burned, like they had been peeled of the skin. He heard the cold metal cling one against each other. His head hung low, between his shoulders, he smiled, no, he grinned... They had chained him, 
"Ignorant, brainless dogs" he thought..."chain me" - he lifted his head, the bruises on his head start pounding at the rhythm of his heart, his lip was crushed and split on several places, his left eye was swollen and he could not see clearly. And even so, he kept grinning, wider, and wider, and started laughing, first silent, a little, barely audible giggle, then louder and louder,.
The guard at the iron gate stood op, unsheathed his sword and hit the gate with it. The metal clang made him stop laughing, all the while he stared at the guard. The grin remained, all the while, an empty stare at the guard.
"What you're looking at, fool' The guard spat. He kept grinning.
"I'll swell your other eye, see how much you will keep that grin", while he opened the door, the guard had changed his sword off-hand, to shut the gate after him, not locking it, he noted while he braced his hands into fists. He let his head fall between his shoulders again, hanging, between his arms, who were chained to the walls.
"Not grinning anymore are you?" the guard said, standing straight and tall a couple of feet from him.
"I'd mark my tone if I were you" the stranger replied... 
" You got quit the idea of yourself peasant" the guard said, with disgust in his voice " I'll show you what we do with people like you here "
He took a firm step forward, he tossed his blade in his main hand again, lifting it high, clearly intending to use the pummel on the back of the strangers head.
"You will not" the strangers said, just as the soldier reached the highest point with his arm, about to start the lowering movement to hit.
The stranger sway his head up, his face was unbruised, his eye blazing red and orange. In the center, a pitch black oval, gleaming like a pearl. His hair had swayed as if a breeze of wind had just entered the little stone room he was kept in, and his voice suddenly took a heave, powerful tone. The wall slightly trembled with the words he had spoken.
The Guard stopped, and stepped back almost immediately. surprised and unsure, he look over his shoulder, to the gate. he saw it flew shut, he saw the black iron bars shine a dark red for a brief time and see the lock melt onto the bars.
" What is this?" he shouted, while he turned back his head to face the stranger.
"What you deserve" the stranger whispered, standing behind the guard now, while the guard reacted surprised and confused, as if his mind did not understand that he just stared at the empty cuffs hanging on the chains at the wall.
The guard fell a flat hand on his back, and wanted to scream, only to realize the hand slid through his back, trough the armor he wore, the leather tunic under it, and his flesh. he felt the heat on his inside, and could do nothing but manage a soundless scream, while a bright shine came out of his mouth and nose, brighter and brighter, until his eyes molt in his sockets, his skin start dropping like thick oil and he dropped like a lifeless empty bag.
2 more soldiers came running on the chamber, hearing the clatter of the sword the guard had dropped, drawing weapons even before realizing what they were looking at, and what they could not comprehend what had happened.
"Excellent" the stranger whispered " more practice" - he smiled and turned to them. The walls trembled. Birds flew en masse in a wide area and the sky lit a bright crimson, fading in and out over a couple of seconds. After a couple of heartbeats everything went quiet again, as the Guard Tower at the borderlands of Norvan had always been.



***



Reaqe had never seen so much military activity in a rather small town like this. Granted, he travelled allot, never stayed in one place, and rather liked solitude over company. The only times he enjoyed company would be after some sort of assignment, expedition or mission that had turned out anything but failure. It was a dog's live, but it kept him going. No time to think about the past he kept moving around earning coin, roof or a meal for whatever he saw fit.
He ended up in the local tavern that night, it was old, dusty, but crowded. Drunk man walked from bar to table, grabbed waitresses, who did not always disliked. and a sea of noise ruled the floor. He could hear laughter, talking, giggling, yelling and taunting. Reaqe was not the kind to make friends by walking in a place. he was tall, broad shoulders, he had bright green-bluish eyes and he had a slight unattended look. Not that he smelled, and not that he was unattractive, but travelling without a home did that to a person. Not that he hadn't cared either - he just didn't think it a priority when his stomach got empty he had other demands as a reward.
His table was made of a single solid piece of wood. His beer, tall and with a foam collar that surpassed any standards stood atop it. He brushed over the table, feeling the nerf of the wood. He liked the smell and feel of wood.
The table next to him was loud and sat at by four men. Each one with at least a woman on their lap, singing, shouting and spilling their beer all over themselves. His corners of his mouth lifted for a brief second. They reminded him of better times, where he had also sat with comrades drinking, laughing, telling tough tales and enjoying a fine woman's company. The smile faded. Those times were long gone, and better forgotten then remembered. He looked a table further. Two men, hooded in their cloaks, even when the tavern was well heated with a large fireplace used to grill and cook meat for customers. They sat in the back of the tavern, unnoticed and trying to keep it that way. They spoke in soft whispers with one another, using the cloak to occasionally conceal their mouths while speaking. 
Reaqe had learned a thing or two in the past years living on the go, he had a nose to know when a coin could be earned. Those men looked like it. he looked while they talked, their eyes flashing over the crow every one or two sentences. Reaqe avoided them seeing him look at them. He read their lips, for as far as he could in all the loud chaos and distractions. The smaller man of the two suddenly took a more formal, serious stance to the other, while Reaqe saw the second's eyes widen a little. He read the word 'murder' on the short man's lips. He saw the taller man sigh, lift his pint, and bottom the rest of it, while ordering another one while the waitress passed.
He re-shifted himself, taking is pint and pretending to take a long slow gulp while his eyes stayed focused on the duo. He read a couple of more words, and guessed some more. 'Money' had been spoken, together with 'Danger' or 'Anger' for that matter, and a last word he had read was 'tragic', which he had first mistaken for 'magic', though there was no such thing.
Reaqe know that assignments with danger, murder and tragedy where something to avoid. he had learned it the hard way, he had ended up one too many times in a situation where the good pay for such demands was never enough for how these missions ended in treason, cowardly, backstabbing, and death. He let his mind wander of as he took a deep gulp of his pint and ordered one more, after some doubt, but as a smiling waitress passed and glared at him, he decided one more would be affordable.
After downing the last of his pint, and enjoying the atmosphere in the tavern until he got sick of it, he departed. He had not slept comfortable in the past weeks, finding shelter in stalls outside of town, constructed for the animals herded by the townsfolk.
It was later in the night then he had thought, walking trough empty streets, lit by torches. he passed the Town guards once, on their patrol, and after a short view and nod, they had continued their route.
He liked Norvar, it lay by a small lake, fueled by water from a nearby river. The town occupied a third, maybe a little more of the lakeside, and was bordered by a small wall, that would keep out wild animals and thieves with little effort. It was quiet here, and the surroundings were green, he heard the water trickle nearby and swayed further down the streets. He left the town trough a small road , that lead to a gap in the wall, unnoticeable from the outside, used by townsfolk to easily enter or leave the town without the detour to the main gate. He reached a stall after some time, quickly took a scan around the place to look for dangerous animals taking refuge in it and the environment, and lay down. He stared at the roof for a while, and did not remember when his eye fell shut.



***



Edgar brushed his sleeve clean. They had left the tavern, and were heading for the inn, when he noticed it had started snowing. Norvan was a northern town, and the grey huts had a Nordic look over them, with the snow starting to fall, the night grew a little brighter, while the moon lit the flakes. "Come on" He hissed to Marvec. his companion had not easily taken the loss of their third vast companion three days ago. Hervan had been killed on a find & retrieve task of an unknown lord. They had received the task through an agent, who had paid a pretty small sum upfront. They had sought a so called relic, an artifact. They know though, allot of collectors called them like that, while it was actually just art. They had stumbled on an empty cave, the metal smell of blood all over it, they had wondered in it, to find triggered traps, fighting marks and spilled blood. They had, however, no found or seen anybody or slain foe. They had reached the last chamber in the end, tunnels and crawling, being cautious, even with the desolate feel, and had contacted that whatever art piece, artifact or relic had been taken before they had arrived. They had spent the money on preparation and stock for the trip, and knew there would be no reward on returning home empty handed. Hervan had start swearing, mumbling to himself the waste of time, he had kicked aside dust and rocks, to find a bright red stone in the floor. He had paused to stare at it, to conclude it was part of the floor design. They had uncovered 2 more, in a triangle pattern on the floor of the chamber. They had tried to unwrap them from the floor, but solid as they were in concrete stone, did not move an inch. Hervan had dropped his sword, and scratched the edges of the red stone in an attempt to pull it loose. It was the size of an adult man's fist, and was evenly leveled to the floor. While Edgar and Marvec had start packing again to take their leave, Hervan had had one of his fingers slit to a sharp piece of rock next to the stone. Some droplets of crimson had dropped from the finger, and he had quickly retrieved his hands, swearing again, standing up, brushing off his hands and taking a piece of old cloth to quickly wrap it around.
As they had taken their departure, when Hervan had insisted on walking last, not being able the shake the feeling of they were being watched, followed or about to be attacked.
The moment Edgar and Norvan had stepped outside of the main chamber, the cave had slightly started to rumble, Hervan had hurried, but the exit of the chamber had collapsed within a second after the slight rumble, nearly crushing Marvec, who reflexively , jumped away just in time to avoid sudden pounds of certain death falling downwards. They had remained another day at the entrance, try to clear the rumble they could, in a hope and attempt to free Hervan. After splitting a large boulder, which, they thought had blocked the passage, they realized, another big one was behind that one, followed by another and another. They had found pieces of bloodied cloth and had to assume that not just the passage, but the entire main chamber had collapsed. They had left 2 silver coins - as they always did - stacked under a wax-candle burning as a Vigil, hoping Hervan would have a good afterlife. They had grieved shortly, and had taken the road to Norvan, to get rest for maybe longer than normal the work things out.



***



Reaqe had awoken by a sound nearby, he guessed, by the look of the night he had only slept for a couple of hours when he had heard the sound of careful footsteps. He had rolled to his side, against one of the wooden walls of the stall. he peeked through the holes and lines in it to scan the outside. He held his breath, and focused calmly on lowering the sudden heartbeat he had when awoken by the sound, a rush of adrenaline preparing him for immediate action should it have been required.
As Reaqe stared into the moonlit night, as the snow started to cover the ground, he saw a shape wander through the field on the side of the stall. The shape was too far, and not lit well enough to properly be recognized, but showed clear features of a man, slowly walking to Norvan. He followed the shape for a while with his eyes, until he saw it vanish in darkness of woods before reaching the walls of the town again. Reaqe wondered, it must have been a couple of hours before a the sun started to rise, finding it odd someone wondering into town. "On the other hand" Reaqe thought "I was the one sneaking out of town just a couple of hours before". Reaqe lay on his back, thinking what he should do, but let it go. He closed his eyes again...just for a brief moment.



***



Edgar and Marvec arrived in the inn, the innkeeper, a bald bold man with no neck, had given them a key to the rear door, since he locked the front door at night. They had paid the room upfront, and had requested a bowl of water in the morning to wash up. They had 2 separate beds in the room, and neither Edgar or Marvec bother the other one's presence in the room. They had shared plenty of time and history to be bothered with undressing, changing or sleeping in the same room.
They lit a pitch-black candle, as they always did since their adventure in Nexam, before they went to sleep. The room went quit for a while...Edgar lay on his back...staring at the roof...his mind, going over the events of the past few days, how they had lost their companion, Hervan, and what he could have done to prevent him. None of them was to blame, he knew, none the less, Hervan was dead. It didn't take Marvec long to fall asleep, the man had drunk a large amount of beer, in an attempt not to be bothered with the same questions Edgar was that night.
While he began to slumber, sleep would not get to him. Edgar could not get his mind of the past events, and could not understand what had happened, what had gone wrong. Why and what had happened made no sense. He tried to puzzle over and over again. until, suddenly, he heard the creak of the wooden crack. His eyes flew wide open, his ears nearly moved upward in a sudden state of alertness. he did not move, but used every instinct he had to sweep the room. he listened, smelled, sensed whatever he could, and then he heard it again. A gentle crack, clearly a weight moving over a wooden plank of the floor, as the balance on the plank shifted, it cracked. Slowly, low and steady. until it stopped. A sudden wind made the window in the room crack, and bend, while the room filled with a gaunt of fresh air entering trough the gap the bended window showed. The candle, the pitch black candle, was blown out by the sudden wind rush. Edgar swallowed and turned his head, slowly, pretending to do it while sleeping. He saw a tall shape in the room. At the end of the chamber, bent over the desk, where their tunic hung. Edgar stiffened, unable to think clearly he reacted on instinct. He spun out of bed, grabbed the dagger he always kept tied around his left leg, and drew it, he yelled at Marvec who, with a loud snore, woke and took several heartbeats to realize what happened, why Edgar was out of bed, bare-chested, with only his trousers on, dagger pulled in the midst of the night.
When Marvec got to his senses, the first the he whispered was " The candle is out"!
"I know" replied Edgar "and we got company". Marvec spun out of bed, and drew his sword from the chair next to his bed.
All the while, the cloaked stranger had not turned. His tall form, back to Edgar and Marvec unmoving.
"Turn yourself, Show yourself" Edgar shouted, dagger pointed in half angle towards the stranger, while Marvec took a step half a circle away from Edgar, to flank the stranger. It was a way of cooperation they had used dozens of time, and got a natural reflex when trouble occurred.
"Turn around, and show me your face" Edgar spat " or I swear, you'll have this dagger between your shoulders before you can even blink again".
The room kept silent for two heartbeats. Then, the hooded shape chuckled, once. It's arm lifting barely visible, in a slight angle. The sleeve drew a little shorter, and the tips of what must be fingers became visible. Edgar saw a glitter, and thought it of the nails of the man. If it was human. Suddenly the glitter dropped. It fell to the ground, and Edgar could not help but follow it with his eyes.
It hit the wooden floor. A dull thud, it bounced softly, and started rolling, first slowly, then faster and faster, as if a breeze was helping it. Edgar traced it, as the small glittering shape rolled towards him. It finally hit his foot, on the front of his big toe, and then roll to the side and fell over.
The moon lit the coin, and Edgar stopped breathing for a moment. "Hervan?" he said, while heavily swallowing. Staring at the coin they had left in the cave.
The cloaked man turned, slowly, and unhooded his face. "Not anymore" a raw gurgling voice answered in a whisper. Marvec froze, Edgar's heart missed a beat.
The cloaked man had a empty grin on his face, and his eyes were hollow, as if staring at nothing. Big sacks like what would appear of someone did not sleep for weeks hung under the eye sockets. He lifted his arm, pointing a finger at Marvec. "How, what , who ..what's happening?" Edgar stumbled, lost in confusion. Taking a step forward, regaining ability of movement, breathing and thinking - sensing the tension in the room life to that of fighting.
The grin on the Hervan's, or what was supposed to be Hervan, grew a little wider, in a sadistic twitch, then he whispered, in a tone full of hatred " ice".
Marvec's eyes widened as large as though possible, he heard the stranger whisper the word as he pointed at him. The moment he had spoken the word, he felt his feet go cold, ice-cold. he tried to move them, but could not. A feeling of panic surged through his body, and he looked down, seeing his feet growing in boots of ice. The ice rapidly kept crawling upward, past his knees, reaching his pelvis, his stomach. Marvec watched in panic, and looked ad Edgar, eyes full of fear at the powerless situation he was in. Marvec threw his sword arm up, in an attempt to throw it at the stranger, while the ice reached his shoulders. In a terrifying shout 'No!' Marvec completely froze. A pale white-blue coating covering what looked like a rough statue. Eyes wide open, mouth hanging open, teeth visible, face in despair and panic, his arm, held upward, sword above him. The Room went silent, only the ice statue of Marvec crackled with bitter cold. Fogs of frost fell down from the entire shape of what was Marvec.

The Cloaked man turned to Edgar, lowered his arm, bent his elbow, and held his hand clearly in sight. His fingers put to clap against the palm.
Edgar registered what had happened with Marvec and what could possibly happened next. "Don't" he whispered, feeling panic and fear swell in his stomach.
The cloaked man, Hervan, grinned. Smiled. Dark and rotten teeth showing. A little chuckle of amusement noticeable. He snapped his fingers. Marvec's ice statue shattered. Millions pieces of frozen flesh scattered all over the room, hitting Edgar in the face, chest, legs, bouncing off the walls, the floor and the ceiling.
Edgar's hair flew back from the blast, and got cut in the face by the ice shards. instantly, his fear made way for rage, raw rage. He felt tears in his eyes, and anger burned in him, he screamed, and threw himself forward in one enormous powerful momentum.
"Excellent" the cloaked man calmly whispered "Join him..."
Edgar roared, rage filling every move with speed and strength. he paced straight for the hooded man, in a half bent stance, he saw the stranger lift right his hand upward, a sudden sphere of burning bright deep orange flames floating on his palm. He threw it at Edgar. Edgar instinctively threw his weight on his right leg, and pushed off to the left side, he rolled over his side, and fell the sphere of flames fly just by his cheek by matter of centimeters. The heat struck him as the tail of flames touches his bare chest. He leapt forward, with a roar of rage, he extend his right arm, holding the dagger outwards, and felt his dagger strike flesh. The hooded shape swept to one side, visibly surprised at what had happened, and the grin disappeared from his face.
His eyes burned deep red, a deep, oval black pearl shape a midst his dark-red eyes. Edgar noticed the man's fingertips were darkened, and a little curl of smoke went from the hand he had tossed the flaming orb with. "impressive" he whispered in a dark and slow voice. Edgar flipped the dagger with the blade between his thumb and 2 fingers, and winched his eyes. "Demon..." he said, tears leaving his eyes, panic making his arms tremble, but rage and determination keeping his mind clear. "You will suffer for what you have done" Edgar threw the dagger in a lightning fast move towards the cloaked figure. The hooded man lifted his arm, palm straight up, and the dagger froze in place, hovering a finger thick from his chest. Edgar stared in disbelieve. The sword of Marvec lay at his feet, and with a neat foot gesture, he managed to lay the pummel over his feet and threw it upwards, catching it in his left hand.
Edgar to a new stance, offensive, but was unsure what to do. The smell of the melting Marvec begun to mix with the burned smell of the orb that had hit the wall, leaving a huge darkened spot on the wooden wall, smoldering, as if not sure to start burning or not. Edgar fell his stomach turn and resisted the urge to vomit, as the smell of flesh filled the room.

A heavy knock on the door caught both their attention, as the innkeeper knocked heavily on the door again. "Open this damn door, or I'll tear it down" he shouted with an impatient voice. Another heave impact on the door.
Edgar looked back at the Hooded man while the man looked at Edgar.
he lowered his arms, and made his hands to fist. He started to whisper, and Edgar fell the temperature in the room drop. He had a shiver and looked around. Everything seemed to be trembling and shaking, and yet, nothing moved. A trembling sound emerged from all over the room, and the sky around the village turned darker instantly.
Edgar was unsure, as he saw the blood, smeared all over the room, start to boil, and suddenly, ignite in flames. Within seconds, the while room was ablaze, and Edgar saw a wall of flames emerge between him and the stranger, who, calmly, clasped his hands twice, opened them in a circular motion, and Edgar saw, blurred by the heat of flames, what looked like a deep dark scarlet line appear, then wider and wider. its borders unstable, the contents like a liquid of boiling blood. The hooded man stepped trough it, but did not appear on the other side.
The boiling form grew smaller again, and vanished as quickly as it had come. Edgar stared. swallowed. Disbelieving what he just had witnessed.
Reality struck him as flames licked his bare feet, and a surge of pain flew trough him. He quickly took notice of his surroundings, just as the heavy wooden door of the room burst open, splintering the frame, while the Innkeeper stood, halfly dressed, with an enraged face, staring in the room, ablaze with bright orange flames.
"F**k" the innkeeper shouted " What is happening?!" with a voice of rage.
"Fire" he screamed down the hall, "Fire, everyone get out! Save yourself!" The heavy wooden balks in the room let out a heavy burst as they fell a good amount downwards. Edgar grabbed the sword, his clothes on the chair, that had shielded them from burning, and ran to the window. As he was about to jump, a glitter caught his attention. He halted for a split second, grabbed at it, as the blazing hot coin burned his palm. "F**k" he said, and dropped it, while he jumped through the window, a story high, he landed hands first, rolling trough, on instinct, to break the impact. packed with sword an clothes, the move did not go as supposed at all, and he crashed to the ground. he felt his muscles tear and he screamed in agony. His shoulder snapped as he lay still and looked up to the window he had jumped from and suddenly he fell exhausted. A hand clasped his good shoulder. "We have to go"



***



Reaqe had dragged Edgar onto his broad shoulders, and left the burning inn before the back and front door had burst open with guests. Town guards were running in, and the alarm bell was sounding all over the village, calling everyone in times of despair for help. Reaqe ran, Edgar on his shoulders, fell the pain of burns, muscles and his shoulder with every step and he slid away, his eyes to heavy to keep open, his mind to burdened with what had just happened.
Edgar woke, the first sun hitting the horizon. A small fire cracked at his foot, burning with dry wood, preventing any smoke from forming. He the tall man sit at the fire opposite of him. Holding a book, a dark leather cover around it. Edgar moved and sat up.
"What happened" he murmured. Reaqe looked up " I was hoping you could tell me" he answered wit a calm steady voice.
" I followed a stranger in the midst of the night, he headed for the inn, once I realized it just might have been a guest I was about to return, when I passed the backside of the Inn and saw a candle burn, then go out. I stopped to stare a second, then heard allot of things happen. Next thing I know, the window shatters, and you jump out, flames licking the building and nearly grabbing you, as if they were a fist trying to grab you, must have been my imagination".
Edgar stared at the man. "I'm Edgar".
"Reaqe" Reaqe said."Thanks for pulling me out, though I don't know why exactly we had to go, I have the feeling you somehow helped.
A deep frown appeared on Reaqe's face. "Your hand" he said, a serious, concerned tone "Does it hurt? " Edgar did not know what he was talking about, until he turned his palm to his face and opened it. The heated coin had burned in his palm. The outer circle had the skin blistered. a triangular shape formed on the inside. unclear marking around it. obviously, and luckily, Edgar thought, he had not hold the coin for the time to burn completely in his hand.
"I've got some questions for you" Reaqe said, a dark and serious tone in his voice, and he threw something glittering to Edgar, who caught it reflexively with his other, non burned, hand. The coin look like a silver one. one side, was, as was the custom in the world, the symbol of the village it was crafted in, before the King had uninformed all the symbols on it on both sides, to make it a global paying method.."This...it's the coin I took up in the flames, at the inn? How did you..." "No" Reaqe said, with a deep sigh...I have had this coin for the past 8 years with me...
Edgar flipped the coin. A triangle, with 3 symbols on each point, and 3 on every line showed revealed on the other side. Edgar's eyes widened, as Reaqe lift his head and stared at him with clear growing anger in his voice " ... and I hope, for your sake, you get me some damn answers".

 

© 2012 Stember


Author's Note

Stember
I'd love to hear some impressions, I am no proffesional writer, nor am I nativly english. So please accept mistakes, grammar mistakes, etc etc... thanks!

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Interesting thus far....

Posted 12 Years Ago


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Added on February 14, 2012
Last Updated on February 14, 2012
Tags: fantasy, magic, adventure, action, demon, hero

Author

Stember
Stember

Grimbergen, Belgium



About
27 year old father to be. Creative media designer. I love to read, and love to write. more..