Nesting

Uncomfortable at first, alone in my own skin
Attempting to find a reason within

Soul-searching, looking for excuses
As to why I'm always subject to such emotional abuses

Joy's light fades as each moment passes me by
Replaced slowly with every tear that I cry

Absent of hope, it started with shadows
Hatred lifted, on the wings of crows

Irony in peaceful torment, I've adjusted
The goodness in me now corrupted

I've found power within my weakness
A strength discovered through this bleakness

A new order in how I'm now affected
No longer healthy, it's me your deceit infected

Reborn, I will continue on but as a new man
On my own two feet solo I shall stand

My walls reinforced once again, impenetrable
My ability to love now ineligible

Only seeking to satisfy my primal urges
If anyone wants more, I'll quickly discourage

Time to be on the giving end of used
It will no longer be I who's bruised

I'm 50 shades of grey
As the vanilla ones would say

On solid ground, I've made my home
My heart will no longer be owned