I'm loosing

lol this was not a good day for me...

 

I just needed to see it.

Maybe once all down on paper I could make a map of the mess I’ve made

and just maybe come one step closer to peace.

There’s a thought…

I know God has a sense of humor.

Why else would things have turned out this way?

 Forever is an eternity I live everyday without you.

And I honestly didn’t think it could be like this.

The kiss you let linger on my lips has seared my soul.

I’m losing control again.

My vision blurs and my throat burns

and my flesh yearns for you.

I try to tell myself you were never mine

but that seems to make everything worse.

I’m losing my mind.

I find myself fighting for each breath I take

and it makes me sick just thinking this could all be a waste of my time.

Again.

There are times in the early hours of the morning when I feel your love warming me.

Reaching deep down to the places I’ve tried my best to keep you from.

But those moments pass all too quickly

and mix with the cold reality of a brand new day.

You are not here with me.

You are not mine.

But even worse, I am not yours

We are not together.

A feather could knock the wind right out of my collapsing lungs.

And just maybe I’ve begun to see the bigger picture in that

just maybe I’m not getting the hint.

I’m losing myself.

I’ve lost grip of all that I am.

What happened to the smile emblazoned wide on my face for the world to see?

It’s funny how we program our brains to ignore the pain until

we’re so numb we set ourselves on fire for that warm fuzzy feeling we use to have.

What’s happened to me is a catatonic catastrophe and

I’m losing control

I’m losing my mind

I’m losing myself

I’m losing…

Reviews

[THE LOST ROSE]

What a wonderful write. At the age 18 you have such insight. When I was 18 I was just learning about the weather and girls. I really enjoyed your poem. The flow and honesty was excellent. I will show up again in your house to read so more.

[Flow]

Now this one is a piece of art, it reads like a movie with a great actress playing the part. That was awesome because I could feel the desire, I could relate to the feeling of wanting someone that doesn't belong to me. The torture of remembering a moment with them that is paradise but still too short and not enough. the agony of wanting to move on but the reality of knowing your stuck on them. It reads well, it reads smooth and it is clear and consise.. excellent poetry!