Man Without Love

The second entry

  Hellooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo  I knew we'd meet again some sunny day!!

   It's Chara again, Miguel did the favor to write things down for me while I was having a mental breadown (thank you, Miggy <3) and now i'm back on the job, ready to be the William Shakespeare of the internet! I'm writing while supporting my coffee mug on the keyboard, I dunno what MIguel was worried about, I'm so carefulldajkggggggggggggggggggeaj

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Updates, I just burned my hands, because I spilled coffee on them, Miguel bandaged them, and now he's at my side to make sure I don't do anything again, even though I said I din't mind the pain, he is always too protective. Anyways, i'm here to again, tell about a personal experience, remember on the #1 that I wrote me and Miguel talking about my parents coming to visit? Welp, they came,

  Yesterday, it was a warm saturday afternoon, I was just watching something on the tv, laying on the couch, Miguel was on his computer documenting recent cases, when the doorbell button was pressed (it din't work) and they knocked on the door. I took a deep breath.

''well, it's probably them, they...got here earlier than I thought'' I said a bit quietly as I stood up.

''You sure you're okay with this..?'' Miguel asked on a concerned tone.

''Yeah..Yeah, i'm fine, let's get this over with'' I finally walked over to the door, and felt Miguel's hand on my shoulder, I gave him a half smile, and reached the doorknob, and twisted it, pulling the door open.

And there they were, just as I remembered, John and Mary Thornvalle, my mother still has that annoyingly perfect hair on a ponytail, she weared a flowered dress and her red high heels, my father, a blue social shirt and dark trousers, the same mustache of always. As their eyes ran over me, I could see the disgust- disapointment. 

''C-Chara, what are you wearing?'' My mother asked me covering her mouth with her hand.

''Y'know, just something really famous nowadays, it's called ''clothes''' I answered sarcasticly, hah, wasn't it obvious?

''And what happend to your hair?! Why is it so messy and short? Did you cut it with a machatte?'' My father asked, on his authoritive and firm tone.

''What happend to who we raised?!''

"Don't you shave you beard?"

I din't own them an answer, damn it. Of course I din't, it's not my fault I finally decided to be who I am, who I was actually born as. Their disapointment was no one's fault but their's.

''I cut it myself, and Miguel helped as well. And about my clothes, I just bought them, like a normal person does! What the f**k is wrong with you?! You din't even said ''Hi'' to your son after not seeing him for 15 years!! I HAD THE GOOD HEART TO ACCEPT TO HAVE YOU TWO HERE AFTER EVERYTHING! WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS!?'' 

I started yelling at them, I don't know why I reacted so violently so quickly, I felt my eyes watering up, and I swear, I felt like hitting them. I should have known that would be a horrible choice to invite them here, they weren't good people then, why would they be now? I was only stopped from going on by Miguel, who placed a hand on my shoulder and squeezed it so I realized how far I was going. I slammed the door at my parent's face and crumbled on a chair nearby, burrying my face in my hands.

''CHARA THORNVALLE, WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?! OPEN THE DOOR!!''

 I'm not sure they really screamed through the door at me, because Miguel din't react. It was probably my head messing up with me again, I was crying, and that was shamefull as hell, I'm an adult already, very far from that little boy, why am I still like this?  Miguel pulled me into a hug, and I just kept crying on his shoulder. For a long time. My parents left briefly after the argument. I did the kindness to leave them a voice message to never f*****g return to my apartment again. I don't care if it was once theirs'. 

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I wished Chara din't have so high expectations for himself. Age doesn't anulate your right to cry or not to cry, to get or not get emotional, especially when what he went through with his parents was an emotional trauma that affected largely his self esteem and even his knowledge over his own perception of who he is. And I saw that with my own eyes since we grow up with eachother, I din't understand it as a child, but when I became a teenager, I could see the influence over Chara and getting even worse through the years. He has done a lot of progress overcoming that through the last years, on therapy, even with me. 

That showed to me of how aparences can make us mistake who someone really is, or what they're going through. Chara always seemed so happy, and cheerfull and outgoing, when inside was...a storm, yes, that's the word, a storm, that never ended, and would never end if he din't search for help. I really had faith his parents would have changed over the years, but I was wrong, terribly wrong. And I woudn't miss the chance to also leave them a kind message:

''I believe you two understood how the situation a few hours ago went, and I must say, it went terribly, terribly bad! So, I advice to you return, if not to apologize, never. Sincerely yours- Miguel''

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  Well, this is Miguel for you guys, kind, empathetic, and supportive. How many times he was the only one keeping me from rushing into someone just breaking their nose? I was almost doing that with my parents HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH (I'm not even joking)

   Anyway, what he said it's true, I guess, who are they? what have they done to me??? KEEP READING TO FIND OUT HAAHAHHAAHHAHAAHAHHAAHAHH (idiots)