My Eyes are Mere Mirrors

I don't know why
you are so very literal
oh?
excuse me,
I exaggerate.
you're consistent.
I can be so explicit.
I didn't sleep alone before you.
Look at you,
you are flawless.
Half the time I feel like fleeing
because beside you I must look like Vegas
but you haven't even seen my bad side.
I am a thief in your den.
I was thriving before
I plucked you with plump fingers
fresh from the web.
and I thrive still
as an illusion,
of sorts.
You are the perfect sonnet
a solid straight line

and
it makes me sad
when you tell me I'm special

and I know I am just

part of something

that is lost

Author's Note

*alt ending* would be

it makes me sad when you tell me I'm special and I know I am just a free verse,

or something I haven't thought of. but I am not happy with the ending....

Reviews

[Traci]

I think the ending is perfect as is. This is clearly a reflection of your heart and soul, penned in honesty. The title captured my attention, great job!

[Jack...]

Kind of in your face dialogue in the splendid piece. "Because beside you I must look like Vegas" Loved this line and in my opinion, the ending hits home and confirms the feelings of the pen. Very cool.

[Sorry Infamous]

Thank you! I will probably will leave the ending as it is since that seems to be the general consensus.

[Astro]

"I am a warm image projected on cold and fading light"

I really like the modern voice in your poem, it transcends sex in a way that could be understood by man or woman alike and lets the reader become the voice or the spoken to. There is nothing wrong with your ending, unless you personally feel different than the voice in the poem, if it is autobiographical. Use my suggestion if you wish, and good luck with the edit if you do change the ending. Send me a read request to review it if you do.

[melissa]

nice work:)

[Art]

nice work on this poem...

[The Cougar's Den]

The ending suits me...I'm definitely feeling this piece today. Thanks for writing it. Love the title, too!

Definitely a great write, and one that's going in my Favorites.

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

Your lyrical verse are so complex and yet scream of straight forward emotions...

I was thriving before
I plucked you with plump fingers
fresh from the web.
and I thrive still
as an illusion,

I see this as someone who feels they had their choice of loves but settled on this one cause they felt they could mold them into what they want...
all I got to say is wow..... impressive as always.

[Coyote Poetry]

Last line added a twist. Poem is outstanding. I like the internal story and how you create a web of mystery. Thank you.
coyote

[jenniewren (J.W. Bouwma..]

this is one i relate to all too well.. that comparison to Vegas, with all the images it brings: seedy, corrupt, hidden beneath flashy facades and sparkly, lookoverhere lights.. it kinda says it all, no?