The Merry-go-round of life

This is a bit different from my normal stuff. Here's something completely unrelated to my life for a change. lol

We took turns on merry-go-rounds

waiting for bridge jumpers to look our way

confident we were in the money

truth of the matter is

you'll always be a turtle ahead

I, a rabbit behind

As the scenery changes

our past will be washed away 

by sunsets of girls and boys

they'll take hold of the reins 

betting on the nose 

you're the key to their future

while I sit and feel the bright paint

crumble like the sugar I never tasted

You'll be stepping off the carousel 

into her arms

Reviews

[ANM]

Great use of words, we are what we are!

[Sharon L.H. Kelly]

A clever write, Melanie! Thank you for sharing.

[SpeedyHobbit Armstrong]

This is a really awesome poem! I like the reference to the Hare and the Tortoise, too, where the embodiments of the slow and steady turtle ("you") and the fast, impulsive and overconfident hare (the speaker) convey the moral also present in that story. I also sense a theme of growing up in here, with the sunsets of girls and boys referring to the sunset of childhood.

The only thing I have to point out is purely mechanical in nature- the line "they'll take hold of the reigns ." I believe you mean reins. [= Reigns are what kings have- think of the g in there as for kinGdom, kinG or kinGship. [= Reins control horses- or people or people's lives in a metaphorical sense?

[Clockwork]

This one sort of reminds me of a song by one of my favorite bands (Fair to Midland). At any rate, you do have those moral twists with the mention of the turtle and the rabbit, and your stanza about their futures. I like how you broke that line from your fifth stanza, and turned it into one that stanza alone. That delivers the motion of getting off of that Merry-go-round for good.

[ba_mcfarlane]

What a sly and amusing write; slipped in a moral or two, as well, you sneaky poet!

[Melanie Genevieve]

heeheee I'm really happy you caught that :D Thanks for stopping by!