Mercury

Streaking across the meadows

 

Over jumps

 

She fears not the raging River or the depths of the Cave

 

Her legs pump as she races through time

 

Her mighty Call as she reachs the last hurtle

 

Her mane is made of the night it's self

 

The stars shine in her eyes

 

Racing the Wind since she has no others to race

 

lunging through the water up the muddy imbankment

 

Only to realize that she must push on

 

Her stamina is fading

 

This last stretch might just be to much for her

 

The wind picks up carrying the cries of the others

 

Her heart soars as she listen to the encouraging word

 

She race past the flags and her heart fails her

 

She made it.

 

Reviews

[Silent Knight]

Absolutely great. I love the imagery and the feel that she is running out of steam.

[Andrew - Moon Fixer]

I really did enjoy this. but take a look at this. This part i don't think you need because it comes up later in a perfect form. not by it's self. ... Over jumps... i don't think you need this.take a look at it. it's sounds out of place. plus the last part... she made it??? no you need more to this to get that part. or even with out that last part. that is not needed... (she made it.) I was trying to understand the part, (her heart fails her?) yea it needs more to this. there are parts that are left open. take a look at it. really nice piece.
thank you moon fixer

[sarah]

This is beautiful and really well written! Wonderful job this is amazing work

[quinfinn]

this is astounding in its depth and character. nicely expressed and beautifully written, great job...excellent write!

[Thomas Fitzgerald]

Good research and a balanced flow, well written, good job

[Queen of Fantasy]

I really like this! Good Write!

[*~DreamDeamon~*]

Love horses love the poem good job sy sy