Listening to Myself

I havn't been a very good listener.
Sporadically, I whirl at it,
plucking thoughts out of context,
chiding myself, then
plunging on, creating with the hope
that phrases will burst out
with unexpected light
and shine upon my barren brain
with insight somehow all their own.

It seldom works; pretentiousness
is never a surpise, nor ever
taken as a grace.

 

I need to listen when
the thoughts themselves arise
unaided--homing when my mind
is still, a slate carefree
of bare intent, the message
not my own, and I become
the instrument of just some kind
of higher self who lives immersed
within a stream so rich
it is compelled to overflow
upon the bank of breath,
the ready shore
of mortal consciousness.

 

We love a mystery!
It flows from streams we do not know--
from springs to which we cannot go;
it will appear within its own desire.
Then come along--the taste is strange
as it must be, and we are fed
sometimes when we are unaware
of inner hunger, finding there
a feast indeed.  Now then,
remind me, brother. Still my pen,
my faux impulse to bleed
upon the page.  I do not
hear myself too well,
not even now when all the coolness
bubbles up around me.  See?
I missed it.  Am I clean?
           ~

 

Reviews

[SHEEMA HUQ]

It is as if you have taken off your head to reveal your brain, extracted your thoughts, placed them on a table and examined them thoroughly, not missing a moment of frustration, fondness, enthusiasm or intrigue. I like your gallant writing style here, a worthy piece of self analysis, fantastic.

[Dean]

Well, thanks. I still feel that it is rather crappy as a composition. though the sentiments are valid.
Not my best work.

[SHEEMA HUQ]

I appreciate that your standards are very high, which can result in one being very had on oneself, as I am not yet too familiar with your work, I can safely say, that this was a great one from my point of view.

[Pete Langley]

I love reading this, Dean...such honesty producing the thought stream of an intelligent man trying - and succeeding - to refine his reflections poetically on why he cannot refine his reflections!....but this is a canny poem that might - and does - easily apply to many of us at some time or other. Nil desperandum, mate! Moments of real profundity or insight are few and far between! P.

[Dean]

Thanks, Pete. I still think it is crap, but who am I to question an expert?>

[Lydia Shutter]

"Still my pen,
my faux impulse to bleed
upon the page. " I, for one, hope your wish is not granted for the words you write are impressive, Dean. As poets, we do listen...to not only the muse, but to the world around us. We have a hunger that is fed by the world. Believe it....for I can see you have eaten at the buffet of life, my friend. Lydi**

[Dean]

Thank you. I still can't figure out why I am getting so much attention when I never did before. Will be open.

[Lydia Shutter]

Just be happy about it, Dean.....I start4ed reading your poetry because I saw a comment you left on one of my friend's poems. The comment was in depth and I liked that. Not sure why others are following.

[emmajoy]

This isn't just a poem but the tale of a man peering into self, how he observes his reasons for thinking and then, placing thoughts in words. There seems to be a few doubts whirling gently around said man's mind but there shouldn't be, the honest assesment is, as ever, precisely placed, phrase by glorious well-turned phrase, ' .. and I become ~ the instrument of just some kind ~ of higher self who lives immersed ~ within a stream so rich ~ it is compelled to overflow.. ' A fine brain flows and eventually finds its course! Yours does.

[Dean]

Thank you, Emma. For some crazy reason, I am getting much more reaction since I stopped submitting poems. For some particular reason, you have chosen one of my more crappy ones for comment, but I appreciate your scan in search for a grain of creativity. I do not know if I shall ever go back to writing again, but if I do, I suspect you will be there. That's good to know.

[emmajoy]

To beg you to continue posting is cheeky, presumptuous and all similar words but, to heck with courtesy and respect, I'm going to. Dean, PLEASE continue to post your writing, it has amazing depth and style, your thoughts and opinions have always been more than worthy, and when you review not just my stuff but others,you give such a kind and considered opinion. Please, re.think, even if you have a month's rest. Em

[Dean]

will re-think. thanks

[Glen Yumang Manese]

Very wit of a write... I like how you convey to the reader in your work... the collective of thoughts here... again you develop a theme and carry it through to the end with a message...

[Kelly Scheppers]

"...within a stream so rich
it is compelled to overflow
upon the bank of breath,
the ready shore
of mortal consciousness."

Dean, your writing gives me a true sense of poetry. I truly admire this!

My best,
Kelly

[Dean]

Kelly, what am I going to do with you? You praise me even when my writing is as sloppy as this one here.
But, stick around. I'll try to do better.

[Ed Hart]

although intelligence has its moments, it's often used to imply intelligence

[Marie]

Many writers need to learn to listen and not to rant.

[Dean]

I among them!