IF ALONE WAS A THING.

Healing begins the moment you stop pretending you aren`t hurt...

They say, if something breaks and the pieces are big,

It can be mended again...

I don`t think that`s  the case with my heart tho`;

It is broken beyond repair.

I actually wonder how I am still alive.

At this point, my heart, crushed as it is, lacks he ability to pump blood.

`Tis actually funny how calling it quits is the only option

But I lack the guts to do it, 

Because I have so much s**t I want to manifest.

So I have to choose living a fake life.

Yap, fake seems better.

Always saying, "I`m fine" when I`m not;

And," It`s okay" when it`s not.

I guess authenticity is easier said than lived

My face is forced to hold a smile;

While underneath, my inner self holds an up-side-down one.

I know right now that if tears had colors my hankies would be rainbows.

But I still won`t let anyone see that side of me.

I decide masking that off with black as my favorite color.

I end up freakish asf.

Sadly, that turns the people I thought I`d have forever off.

So they end up leaving without a reason.

I think that gives me a right to say that backs love me more than faces do.

Cause everyone turns their back on me; especially when I need them the most.

That leaves me agraphobic, I cant stand people anymore.

I can`t wait to finish school, pack up and leave.

Every sort of pain I have felt was associated with a human being somehow,

How I hope ALONE is a thing; `cause that`s what I need.