What's Been Happening

This is what's been happening. don't worry about it, kay? just everything!

 

What’s Been Happening

You yell and you scream,

So tense is what you seem.

You haven’t even found out yet,

But you’ll kill me when you do, I’ll bet.

I know it’s my fault,

But it’s better then me being in that cult.

The one you never knew about,

But you might have known without knowing, no doubt.

 

But you don’t know what mom’s going to tell you,

And you don’t know why, but only a few days ago, she knew.

I’m to blame,

And this whole thing has put me to eternal shame.

But why the fights?

Who turned off your happy lights?

Do you hate me?

Soon we shall see.

 

What will you think of me?

That, I can’t even see.

Will you think I’m a s**t?

Well, you already think I’m a nut…

What about a w***e?

And…you think I came out of Hell’s door.

Why do you hate?

Why do I think you’ll be my bad fate?

 

Listen, it’s your fault I’ve been rude,

And to my best friend, very crude.

Thinking about it,

You made me yell at him for stupid s**t.

You don’t know,

But I’m going to have to go.

I don’t know where,

Nor do I care.

 

Away from here is where I aim,

And I’m not going out for that fame.

I might go to another state,

Or might die at Hells’ gate.

I wont stay here,

And the road is anything but clear.

Maybe I’ll meet a friend,

Or maybe my life will end.

 

Why did I always think of you as a father?

Did you ever think of me as your daughter?

You forced me to break up with the only guy I loved,

And then you pushed me around and shoved.

Why wont you let me be happy?

One day, I’ll write the guy I like a love poem, but not one sappy.

You forced me to break up with him,

Then the fighting between him and I did begin.

 

Right now, he’s the only one, who cares,

And his feelings, with me, he shares.

And you made me give that up,

And now my life is a little cup.

I blamed me,

But maybe soon he’ll see.

Maybe he will see it was you, who made me,

And maybe…maybe we’ll still be able to be.

 

I will try to win his heart,

But that’s not the hardest part.

Of the whole battle,

And me, getting back on the saddle,

Is where I only have him,

And as the light grows dim,

He’s still there,

Taking my pain to share.

I don’t care what you say,

The two of us will be one someday.

 

What will you say, when you find out about my kid?

Is it farewell that I must bid?

If that is the case, I don’t care,

For the bitter memories of you and I just make me stare.

Stare and think,

Wishing to shrink.

But I will be that way no longer.

My heart, and my will shall grow stronger.

As I live each day,

“Take me to someone who shows they care,” I pray.

 

You’re not my dad, nor will you ever be,

Because from the chains of dictatorship and slavery, I break free.

I break the chains of your hate and strife,

And I’m going to live my own life.

Yes, I am mad,

And yes, I am sad.

I’ve always wanted acceptance for who I am,

And now I do, Goddamn.

I was just looking in all the wrong places,

And looking towards the wrong faces.

 

I am accepted for being me,

Because all my friends see how awesome I can be.

I’m not doing what you say anymore,

So you can just close your little door.

I’m going to tell Shawn the truth,

Though to me, it’ll be like pulling out a tooth.

With him and a few others with me, I’ll be fine,

Because they all will help me to shine.

 

I can’t wait till you find out the news.

Better lock yourself out, bring out the booze.

I don’t care, I’m leaving.

The look of an innocent girl like me is deceiving.

I’ll go live with one of my friends or something,

Bet that hurt. I think I heard your brain hit your head and cling.

 

In just a few months, maybe weeks,

I’m leaving, and I’ll show you I’m not one of those geeks.

When I get you really mad, sometimes you hit me, make me cry,

Then I cut and slash, especially when you tell me to die.

Shawn is the only reason why I’m here,

He made my world, and made the scary visions disappear.

I love him so,

And hope my plan will go.

As for you,

Please shoo.

I’m closing you in the door,

For I can’t have you here anymore.

 

Reviews

[...]

I can feel the emotion in this, most definitely--it's palpable.

The only thing I'm unsure about is the rhyming. It's a little off-putting, just because it seems so much like a stream-of-thought kind of poem--something that should be free-verse.

But maybe that's just my own bias. XD I love free-verse. (Hehe.)

Anyway, nice write.

[Collect-Eye]

sounds like you're sorting and straightening out a mess..best of luck..seems like you have a plan and you're following through..rising above it..kudos.

[vamplit]

You can't be a poet unless you suffer, but does get better.

[Rev. Fr, S. D. Blankens..]

V.V I'm sorry Janeene... I had no idea... v.v But, at the same time I knew it all.. v.v This was sad, I'm sorry you're upset and mad... v.v I feel like this is all of my fault... V.V I have no I did why I moult...



~WaYa