Shooter

It's just a normal day at Memorial High School, until someone with a gun decides to mess with the days lesson play. Class is now survival 101 untill further notice.

"Attention teachers, lock your doors immediately."
Biology class stopped as Mr.Valentine walked over to the door and locked it. His students, who were sleepy and in-attentive moments before were now full of energy, speculating on what the reason for the locking the door could be. Mr. Valentine let it continue for a few minutes, understanding that this was a break in routine for his class. After finishing his coffee he gained the attention of the students again, and began to talk about evolution again with his class. He did not have the time to utter a few sentences before a students hand went up. This caught Mr.Valentine by surprise, as this girl almost never said a word unless she was spoken to. "Yes Jenny?" he said. "Are we going to be ok?" she asked, with a bit of terror in her voice. Mr.Valentine did not answer right away, as he had not thought anything of the message the principal had sent through the loud speaker, he had let his students speculate while he read his paper. He could tell she was uncomfortable just by looking at her, and thought it would be his duty as a teacher to tell  her what it was going to be fine. Looking her in the eyes he said "Nothing is going to happen to you." A few snickers went through the room, laughing at the scared girl, as if her fear had no purpose. Mr.Valentine put a stop to them and continued his lesson. For about five minutes everything was normal, and than a scream pierced through the air. Some students instantly jumped under their table, and others looked to the door, trying to see if there was anything there. Than, three gun shots, in rapid succession. Bam, bam, bam. Everything went silent. Than a crying sound was heard. Some incoherent screams, than two more gunshots. No more crying, no more nothing, everything was silent. "Get away from the door, now." Mr.Valentine said, trying to keep his voice calm, even though every fiber of his being told him to panic. The students quickly moved away and stared at the door. Everything stayed that way until foot steps started going down the hall, they sounded as if they were running. "STOP DAMNIT!" a voice yelled. Through the glass on the window they saw a boy run by, a junior from Mr.Mackabees class. As he passed by the door more shot were heard. No one saw the boy get shot, but his blood splattered against the class room window. A few students huddled closer to Mr.Valentine. He wanted to shove them away, he didn't' like these kids looking up to him for help, because he wanted help to. Someone began to cry, and no commented, because inside they all wanted to. The door-knob to the class room than began to shake. Cries of terror came out from many kids in the class. The knob jiggled, but did not open. Whoever had tried to do it cursed, kicked the door, than moved on, perhaps to find another class. More students were crying now, others just stared in disbelief, none of them thought this could happen to them, to their school. Mr.Valentine took a deep breath and tried to think the situation through. At least one student was dead, and up to five others, as that was the number of shots heard. He tried to think of ways out of the situation, but their class room was on the second floor, and going in the hallways was dangerous. He had no other ideas. He wracked his brain, trying to thinking of something, anything, but was interrupted by the sound of the intercom. It was the principal. "Someone has entered the school building, and they are armed with weapons, keep your doors locked, don't open them for anyone, and stay away from them. Try to keep quiet, so that you don't attract atten..." and his voice was cut off by gun shots. The intercom was left on and screams were heard. People begging for the lives, but the shots continued until all was quiet. Than the lights turned off, and everything went dark.

Author's Note

I just want anything you all can tell me to do better, anything at all, this is the first time I have put an story on here.

Reviews

[SJ Roebling]

This is really quite good. Any changes I see are mainly minor, such as using the same word in the same sentence or next sentence more than once (ex: After finishing his coffee he gained the attention of the students again, and began to talk about evolution again...)
A good rule of thumb-- read it outloud and if you stumble on anything or anything sounds funky, edit, edit, edit.
The bottom line is, some of the greatest writers spend months, even years, on editing, before a final manuscript is submitted for publishing.
You write well and keep the readers interest. I also felt like I was in the classroom.
Keep writing!

[Summers Under The Old O..]

Well. This gave me shivers, I honestly felt like I was in the classroom. This is a contraversial subject to write about, and you really captured the fear involved with the situation.

About editing, mostly things need to be reworded/rewritten. Nothing to big, but like someone said I suggest rereading this over and over again. Try to get this to sound as smooth as possible.

Good story, it will be even better after you fix the few editing problems here. Nice work.


Summer