Who Am I?

A Poem by Macey Royster

Life will be the death of you

Who I am?

What's to actually come?

All this was planned before time itself.

I could destroy all I have right now.

Everything.

Destroying everything and changing my life randomly wouldn't even come close to being possible.

My emotions would never let it happen.

I am bound to what I do and to what I will be doing later.

No matter how random a decision I make, it is what it will be.

Make a life altering decision.

Now do it!

All of a sudden you just out smarted the course of your life.

No.

You will do exactly as was planned.

It's already in the books for you.

Say you had a thought,

You put this thought into motion.

You just skipped off to Alaska.

Guess what....

You are where you're supposed to be.

By yourself you made this happen, yes.

But,

You are right where you are supposed to be,

Regardless of how random or planned this event was.

You have the choice to pick where you want your life to go.

You believe it matters what you decided.

You've all the freedom in the world to make any decision you want.

Decisions which can be so stressful.

Emotions overwhelming.

Choices you make can be hard.

They can be tedious.

You continue on, you cope.

Why did you choose to be wealthy?

Was it for your happiness and security?

Maybe the continuation of family to come?

Does it make you wonder why you deal with the emotions you do?

The thoughts you have?

Even if only destined for what is to come, regardless?

You have the consciousness,

You have the body,

The feelings,

The sickness,

The decisions,

All that makes you human.

To have a personality because it's what makes you who you are.

This is why you're alive.

To go through with your story.

You will always have that heartbreak.

Those hard choices.

Time passes to let what is waiting take place.

BUT,

You lived it.

Say you wrote a book.

Everything that is going to happen is planned by you.

What happens to this person you created?

At the beginning of this book you introduce us to your character. You're audience doesn't know what's going to happen next until they flip the page and continue.

They mentally experience this characters life from the pages you have created.

Their emotions to every thought they could ever have.

It's the unknown of what is to come

That makes their actions and what takes place around them so interesting.

All of their thoughts and emotions make up who they are.

Who they are makes it worth that read.

To know what happens next.

The idea of life is living it.

My explanation to the book that is your life.

You live it.

Life would be only an event without those thoughts and feelings.

You watch something happen to someone else.

That is an event.

You didn't live what that person just experienced.

To watch an event unfold is to watch another life take place.

In their life,

All the decisions,

All the feelings,

Go with the thoughts that person got to experience for what is leading up to what is happening.

Although, clueless.

It's played out for you.

You don't know a single damn thing that will happen next.

Between accepting that and not accepting that.

The world can turn upside down on you instead of progressing forward.

Depending on how you eventually continue

really determines how you are supposed to live the life you were given.

Some have it in their life to come across a easier way to accept living,

To continue pushing.

Someone will read this.

Someone will have it in their cards to understand,

Not just hear what I am saying.

Some struggle to live at a steady pace until they pass on.

Some who have nothing to look forward to,

Living a life that gets worst and worst.

They can't do a damn thing about it.

As if our "writers" are so bored they make a joke out of someone's life.

Fate used against them before they were even conceived.

Maybe, it's all random.

There are so many ways to live.

So many things that can happen.

It's like a roll of dice before you come to exist.

Think about grabbing a really s****y gun in the video game "Borderlands".

With a roll of the dice you grab a very s****y combination of effects....

This gun has a high recoil rate,

It fires all bullets at once.

Yes, this gun is going to shoot.

It will probably even score you some kills.

You just wasted a whole clip in one shot as it sprayed straight up into the air.

Imagine that same gun with an extra bad property.

View that as the person who has it worst than you.

Well, at least has a harder time killing Skags.

A new gun comes around,

It can be the same type of gun.

Only, this one fires two bullets,

Low Recoil,

+1 Ammo Regeneration.

Those Skags don't stand a chance when in comparison.

You are about to get a lot further in this game.

The thought of this can help you accept things that happen to you in your life.

Make things a little easier if you can accept the POV.

With this theory,

If you want to accept it,

Things may just go somewhat easier next time you find yourself in a hole.

Ever have this thought?

"I could have done something to prevent this and that from happening, if only I did this or that."

That sentence can never be true.

That should make anyone feel better.

Start accepting and moving on.

Stop thinking you can change that of which you have no control over.

It happen.

You know your decision was wrong.

You don't know why the hell you did what you did.

You knew of a different option.

You could have fixed it all.

If only you had went with the other choice, right?

You are where you are,

Accept it.

You can't change it,

It's over.

Take those wrong decisions with anger or sadness.

Still know inside yourself that what is done, is done.

You can't change something that has already happen.

You made the wrong choice?

Learn from your mistake.

Accept your life

Living what you are given.

Know if it's really bad you can try a different viewpoint on what really happen.

There is a reason.

Always keep in mind that everything happens for a reason.

Things don't always happen until you need it the most.

Life will test you all the time.

Through living your life you will eventually pass any given test.

Treat your body as the gift it is.

Make those spontaneous choices.

Enjoy every moment you get when the life grants you.

Events that take place in life shape you.

Shape your mindset for what is to come.

Think about that next time something takes place.

Stay strong.

Fix what you are capable of fixing.

Take notes on those mistakes,

If not for yourself then for someone who happens upon those notes.

Stop doing what you know isn't right.

Better yourself.

A chance is always there.

You never know.

Emotions such as greed and temptation make you aware of your wants and needs.

None of which you work to get so it doesn't happen.

Thoughts and emotions are there to show you how much freedom you actually have.

Example,

I want to be skinny.

No matter how many thoughts I have about it,

No matter the amount of times I attempt to work at my goal.

I never continue working at it.

I may even lose a pound and gain a pound.

After all these years,

I have not been able to accomplish that goal.

It hasn't happen for me for me.

The want is there,

It's apart of my thoughts and emotions.

Only if it actually happens would I know it was meant to happen.

I'll make myself work out.

I'll eat right.

Before changes are made I stop.

Stuff comes up,

I don't feel like it,

I forget.

Always an excuse to take place.

That doesn't stop me from wanting it and trying for my goals when I do.

Those thoughts you have are all you.

They make up parts of who you are.

What you want them to be.

It's your free will.

Dream big!!

You don't know where you are going other than where you are at right now.

Don't doubt anything!

I have determination for all kinds of things in my life.

I'm never going to stop chasing my dreams.

Something will happen.

Always.

The life you're living will be the death of you.

Smile.

It could be worst.

Author's Note

I spent a fair amount of time writing this and I would love if people just gave me the time of day and heard me out

My Review

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Reviews

Coyote Poetry

Very good advice given and shared.
"Fix what you are capable of fixing.
Take notes on those mistakes,"
Above lines are old wisdom. Mistakes will be made. Try not to repeat. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

Posted 8 Years Ago

garrshaw

I'm not sure why I like this piece.. maybe because I think it is honest and I am always attracted to honesty in writers. What I mean is that honest writers speak from a deeper truth, always dig below vague emotions and ideals (below personality). I see you doing that, going in that direction, so you have my respect.

Some of your statements are very perceptive, like:
"Accept your life
Living what you are given.
Know if it's really bad you can try a different viewpoint on what really happen."
That's awesome. We can choose a self-pitying, poor-me attitude or we can rise above ourselves and simply change our attitude (viewpoint) and do something good, no matter who we are or what we've suffered.

And:

"The idea of life is living it."

It's like getting passed the overwhelming emotions, the wants and temptations to some action "putting this thought into motion". We are active participants in life, not passive recipients; human, not vegetable or animal.

There are just many things that you have written that are pregnant with meaning... I just hope you keep on with it because you are writing about important matters.