Castles

Castles in our dreams

 

It was possibly the hottest day of the summer. The sort of day when you just want to chill and take it easy. Any strenuous activity leaves you overheated, dizzy and saturated.

 

My mother and father had decided on an excursion with me and my little brother. We didn’t have to travel too far – which was a blessing as our car had no air conditioning!

 

So, here I was, sitting a little apart from the rest of the family, admiring the castle. It truly was a superb structure. Four turrets, one on each corner with flags flying. I say flying, which, on a day like today was not exactly so, shall I say they just stood there motionless as there wasn’t even a breath of wind today. The windows looked like hollowed out shadows and the entrance seemed to have a drawbridge crossing over a moat.

 

I lay back, put my sun hat over my face and started to think about what life would have been like in the castle. In the darkness, behind my eyelids, I could see figures moving round. 

 

There was the Lord and his Lady, dressed in their silks and velvets, hosting a sumptuous banquet. The tables were long and their guests all seated merrily enjoying the food and entertainment provided by the jugglers, jesters and the wandering minstrels. The servants were hidden in the shadows of the walls, only emerging when they were beckoned. The wine was flowing and some folk were obviously getting very merry. 

 

I felt as though I was there, a bystander to watch and listen but never be seen. I could see, in my mind’s eye, the jousting tournaments, the hustle and bustle of every day life, the blacksmiths shoeing the horses and clanging the iron in the forges, the children running and laughing and playing. There were women carrying the water from the well to put in their tubs ready for bathing.

 

I was so enraptured I could even sense the smells. The smell of the cattle, the smell of the food and bread baking, the smell of smoke, the smell of dust, the smell of herbs, the smell of flowers all mingling together to make it feel real.

 

I could hear the sounds – of horses, laughter, chatter and a voice, which seemed to grow louder. So loud that it eventually drowned out everything else.

 

“Sarah, Sarah, Sarah – come on now, it’s time to go, come on it’s getting late, we must get back”. It was the voice of my mother, bringing me back to reality.

 

“Come on now Sarah, what have you been doing. Not day dreaming again!”

 

I sat up sharply feeling quite disoriented “Wait mum, what about the castle?” I asked.

 

“Oh, never mind that dear, we can come back again next week. Look, we have to go now the tide’s coming in.”

 

I snatched my bucket and spade up from the sand and took several steps forward, then turned and looked at the castle once more. Then I saw the wave rippling forward towards the castle. It wasn’t a strong wave, but it did however manage to make one of the turrets crumble away.

Reviews

[joshua rainbird]

I like how the ending caught me unawares, for a moment I thought that the girl was at a historical renactment. The length of this piece is just right for its charm.

What I would suggest as improvements are:

there is a whole paragraph just devoted to smells - it's a bit too much and comes across like a shopping list; as you had already vividly described a feast and a blacksmith you might want to mention one or two smells associated with those scenes and delete the other paragraph

toughen up the final sentence - don't be afraid to make it emotive - a destructive wave would say something about how fragile, and therefore precious, daydreams are.

Best wishes and welcome to Writer's Cafe
Josh