TO HOPE

At the feasting frenzy of rich tables

 - I confess frankly - 

I am terrified,

 and I am constantly terrified!

 I wonder if there will be 

any more intimate and idyllic moments

 of family and soul-warming togetherness,

 and any remaining minutes

 treasuring the morals of my past,

 when I am constantly wondering,

 ruminating, and clacking night

 and day in my worn-out 

and worn-out brain,

 how will I pay the bills,

 the bills, the bills of my existence,

 in the numbered days of my mortal life,

 when the productive solitude

 is doomed to endure?!

I have always been attracted

 by the stubborn and backbone

 of lion-hearted men:

 if, broken in labour,

 they have laid their

 well-earned breadwinner's

 wages at the mercy of their

 moral Himalayan conscience,

 and their substantial truths

 at the mercy of their word!

 Every day, as a wise master

 who knows which path to tread,

 With self-righteous discourses

 that begin life,

 Hope encourages me!

I would like everyone

 to leave me one day:

 Either because they

 have urgent business,

 or have forgotten 

the trials of the gnashing

 teeth of the past,

 if I am left alone for ever,

 and my biological clockwork

 structure is about to be

 taken over by a disease

 that threatens to besiege it,

 can someone unknown

 remain as a faithful soul mate,

 

to whom I can entrust

 the last breath of my life

 and all the responsible

 secrets of my heartbeat

 - like my Phoenix hope that

 I wanted to bring to life

 with the purpose of reflection

 - and build it up with careful

 care for a long time to come?