Trivial trifles

Kornél Bauer was barely two or three years old when he learned to imitate and manipulate individual members of his family to his liking. Interestingly, when his constantly nervous father brought his work home on a permanent basis, and small or large domestic disputes arose, the little boy could always know that if he wanted good for himself and didn't want to get another unnecessary neck soup, it would be better if he quietly humbled himself on the carpet of the spacious living room in one corner , and like a terrified, precise observer, he waits for the time being and observes the events of the complicated and long incomprehensible world. He almost never understood that if his parents, who supposedly adored him and loved each other as much as they originally couldn't help but constantly voice about themselves, then why did the house often constantly resound with their screeching voices?

"Daddy!" You do not hear?! The child is crying! Comfort her already! - ordered the beautiful wife, who had just prepared the slightly burnt, tasteless dinner of the day in the small kitchen.

"Why do I have to deal with such things, kitty, when your son does too!" �" The head of the family, as if it were the most natural thing in the world, already put his two feet on the tiny IKEA coffee table, turned on his favorite sports channel, where the F1 time trial was on, and stared almost mesmerized at the wide convex screen. He didn't even care about his little son, whose violent crying fits pretty much filled almost every single day.

"My dad!" How many more times do I have to say it! Get your a*s out of your chair and comfort him! - said the now nervous mother from the kitchenette.

"Oh honey!" F1 has just started! You know I don't want to miss out! - the man answered back from the tip of his teeth. Well, the filigree and well-heeled young woman didn't need more. He stormed out of the kitchenette, where he had been nervously snorting the fried meat until now, and turned off the TV with a single push of a button.

"Why on earth did we need this, huh?" exclaimed the head of the family in his initial shock.

"Don't you see how long Kornélka has been crying?" Do something for me now, because I'm starting to lose my mind!

"Let her cry in peace!" At least until then, his growing lungs will get stronger! I was almost at his age! I already took care of myself! I don't know why there's such a fuss here! - he waved casually, then opened his newspaper.

The mother became more and more angry, but she tried to control her emotions. He knelt down to the crying, wailing little boy, who looked so sad and vulnerable that almost immediately one's heart fell for him; he grabbed two matchbox trucks and tried to think like a child that if he played with it he might be able to calm him down. He started pushing the toy cars back and forth on the carpet and making all kinds of noises because some parenting book said so.

Sooner or later, the little boy began to stare at his mother in a kitchen apron, smelling of fried meat, with curious, big eyes, as she hummed and imitated words, and before long he was cheering and laughing mischievously.

"Look, mom!" You don't have to make a big deal out of it! - answered the father easily again.

The only problem was that the mother had to rush back to the kitchen if she wanted the rest of the fried meat not to burn in the pan. When she suddenly jumped to her feet and hurried back to the kitchen, Kornélka immediately began to cry loudly from the opening of her throat, as if she was already being flayed.

Since the walls of the small panel apartment allowed all kinds of noise to pass through, some neighbors already came up in the elevator and rang the doorbell to the Bauers to find out what had happened.

"Daddy!" Open that f*****g door and tell the neighbors it's all right! - the wife issued the new order.

The head of the family was in no hurry. He shuffled to the front door with a snail's pace and lazy movement, looked out through the peephole, and when he was thoroughly convinced of the kind of neighbors he was dealing with, he only then opened the door.

"Yes?" Can I help you?! - asked.

"Good morning, Mr. Bauer!" We apologize for the inconvenience, but this noise is simply unbearable! Isn't there a problem with the little boy? asked as many as were standing at the door with curious interest.

"No problem!" Kornél has a minor illness, but the doctor said it will go away in a few days!

"If we can help you and your lovely wife, don't hesitate to tell us about anything!" the neighbors asked.

- It will be! All the best! �" With that, the head of the family closed the front door and returned to the living room.

- So? What did they want? said the mother from the kitchen.

- Nothing special! They only commented that they were very worried about the child because everything could be heard through the damned walls.

"Or so!" - The mother spent most of the time running back and forth between the living room and the kitchen, trying to use all her tricks so that her little son would finally stop crying desperately.

Later, the slightly extravagant lunch was finally ready. As soon as the small family sat down to the table, which was supposed to be about peace and tranquility, the two parents couldn't handle it again, and a real heated argument broke out about whether they should visit the grandparents this year or not?!

"My mommy!" I do not understand you! If you hate my mother so much, why do you have to make fun of me all the time? asked the head of the family while eating. He tried to cram a hearty slice of deep-fried chop into his mouth as stylishly as possible, accompanied by the accompanying parsley potatoes. Not to mention pickled cucumbers.

"Oh dad!" You have to talk while you eat! At least this time you would restrain yourself a little! - the woman scolded her husband, who, although his nerves were made of rope, was clearly not to his taste in many situations.

"In my own house, let me do what I want!" - he answered, and just for that reason he continued to eat the food with enough distaste.

In the meantime, little Kornélka was sitting in the high chair and her mouth was full of tears again. This time, it was because the nervous, tense sounds made the fluff full.

"Listen dear!" Do you smell this too? asked the wife after a while.

�" If you think of pickled cucumbers, you have to give time to pickling!

"Don't bother me!" Just smell the air! - he already started sniffing.

"It must smell like such a massive s**t..." he tried to sniff. Maybe it was Kornélka! he remarked with a fake smile.

The wife immediately took a look at the little boy's fur and nodded to indicate that their beloved son must have behaved a little under himself. But this can happen to any small child, right? - they already knew that this was an everyday occurrence.

However, what none of the parents understood or put together in their brains was that Kornélka tended to pee in the most unexpected situations from time to time, so it is not surprising that the nursemaids often indicated that the child was not tidy.

"Dear Parent!" Be kind and do not bring your dear child to our institution until you are 100% convinced that your child is not a room cleaner! - announced the head of the daycare center, an unbearable, unfriendly, sufficiently homesick woman.

"And this one has a stamped paper that it can officially deal with children!" - remarked the head of the family, when they left the nursery after the somewhat unpleasant discussion.

"You see, you see!" That's why I'm totally who I am! - the mother complained when they were already sitting in the car at breakneck speed. "And then you ask why I'm not perfectly happy!"

"But my mother!" Is there something good in all the trouble, or not?! - the head of the family tried to comfort his rather upset wife.

"My dad!" Don't panic, because my nerves are already stretched to the point of pimples! - said the young woman to her husband with flashing eyes. "Now who can we trust Kornélka to?" My mother works and your parents are not very reliable. he declared.

"That hurt dear!" That's right! My father has alcohol problems, but my mother is still conscientious and adores children! I grew up like that too!

"That's exactly what I wanted to hear!" Such as! - she didn't even want to hide her stout irony from her befuddled husband. - You know what? Aunt Kati still lives here on the fourth Kornélka will stay with her until you get home from work! Yes, I think it will be better for everyone! - agreed the wife to herself.

"But you also know that Aunt Kati never has to get up before ten in the morning in her life!" What if…?

"Enough of the reasoning!" the determined woman ordered her husband. "He'll have it and that's it!" With that, they both went home, and the next day they deposited Kornélka in front of the front door of their neighbor on the fourth floor.

"Kornélka, my little heart!" Behave properly! Knock on the door a couple of times every half hour, and sooner or later Aunt Kati will open it! - with that, both parents went to work.

Kornélka - even though she was small in stature - did everything exactly as her parents asked her to. He knocked a couple of times every hour, until finally it was nine o'clock in the morning when Aunt Kati opened her front door, and she was quite shocked when she noticed the little boy quietly playing with his matchbox cars on the doorstep.

- Hello Kornélka! How about you? How did you get here? Didn't your parents just give it to you?! - the widow was pleasantly surprised, since she was used to living alone for almost eleven years and receiving hardly any visitors. He had a tabby cat, a house-muddy fat cat, whom he called Charlie for some reason. She quickly brought the little child into the room so that he wouldn't catch a cold, even though the weather was relatively mild, then she made him cocoa and fed him bread with butter. Then - even though he didn't feel like it at all - he sat down to play with her on the cat fur carpet in the living room. It's lucky that Kornélka didn't have an animal allergy at all, at most she couldn't stand mean adults.

Later in the day, Kornélka's mother, Aunt Kati, called her on the phone and explained in detail how her son was behaving and how he was feeling. Aunt Katai couldn't help but praise Kornélka to her heart's content for how polite, helpful, a great little boy she is, etc. However, perhaps he didn't notice that Kornélka had peed, and sooner or later massive, pungent, nose-tingling smells began to mix in the place. Aunt Kati must have thought that her cat Charlie was the goose in the matter.

"Charlieka!" How many times do I have to tell you that the litter is there to make them stop peeing! - he said harshly to his cat, who could only stare at the widow with a confused head.

The time finally arrived and it was a quarter past one in the afternoon when the dead tired dad came home and checked in on Aunt Kati.

"I kiss your hand, Aunt Kati!" I came to take Kornélka home! - that's when the massive smell of urine hit the father's nose. "Just tell Aunt Kati?" Kornélka... how did she behave? - didn't he dare ask him openly if he peed?

"He was a very polite gentleman all the way and we played great!" Is it true?

The little boy was still sitting on the carpet covered in piss and pushing his car wonders.

The father took her by the hand and thanked the old woman for taking care of her, then started with her in the direction of the elevator.

"Have you peed again?" How many times have we discussed this my sweet boy?! - of course, he didn't notice it himself, but his sharp, nervous, tense voice really scared his little son to death, which is why Kornélka just screamed.

"Well that can't be true!" - the father muttered to himself. "Now look!" You look like?! You are pathetic, my golden child! - He immediately took him to the bathtub and, not having a better idea, tried to thoroughly shower the little boy's lower body, then rubbed him dry with a clean towel. He only noticed later that the clean, fabric softener-smelling towel had also become poopy, which would cause him to get a few unsolicited comments from his wife again, but damn it!

He brought Kornélka into the living room on the carpet so that he could see her, then the father sat down to watch TV and read his favorite sports newspaper.