CHRISTINA'S AFTERNOON DREAM.

A SCHOOL GIRL IN 1962 AND HER THOUGHTS OF THE BOY SHE LOVED.

Christina walked home

from school

in a strop

she'd not seen

Benedict all day

not on the sports field

(too wet

the prefect said)

nor in the corridors

despite searching

wide eyed

high and low

and in double maths

she'd doodled his name

in the inside cover

of her exercise book

to feel close to him

at least in mind

he was there

his sister said

he was some place

or other

she'd said

in a classroom

or gym

(oh to be there

Christina mused

to be close to him)

and once home

she strode

through the house

(ignoring

her mother's complaints

of this being left undone

or unwashed linen

left on the floor

of her room)

and up the stairs

and into her room

shutting the door

on her mother's tirade

(in one of her

blue moods no doubt)

and putting a chair

against the door

to keep her mother out

she lay on her bed

and took out

the photo of him

from beneath her pillow

and lay it

on her breast

and let him rest

all day and not

one sight

not a glimpse

not a passing shadow

just the teachers

and their talk

and other girls

and their chat

and giggles of boys

or such

oh it was all too much

she mused

rubbing the photo

against her breast

(nearer to her heart

symbolically)

closing her eyes

imagining him there

kissing her lips

fingering her hair

talking like he did

of this or that

of some book he liked

or some place

he'd been or liked

to go

but in her mind

at least

he was there

having placed

his clothes

on the chair

being quite bare

(as was she of course

in her mind's eye)

just he and she

laying alone

he saying yea

and she making moan

but disturbed

by her mother's knock

at the door

(the imagining dispersed

he but vapour

in her mind)

and her mother's voice

much calmer

just asking

about some tea and toast

(all sins forgiven)

yes OK

Christina said

tucking his photo

beneath the pillow

and rising

from the bed

carrying his image

and her dreaming

inside her head.