FAILED TALK 1951

A BOY AND GIRL AT AN ARMY BASE CANTEEN WITH ELDERS IN 1952

It was at the army wives' place
a wooden hut
in the army camp
that Auntie took me to

it was a chance for wives
to talk and mix
and express their fears
and doubts and gossip

there was a tea bar
with cakes
and biscuits in jars
and soft drinks

and Auntie said
go mix with the children Benny
I'll get you a drink
in a while

so I wandered off
hands in coat pockets
eyes scanning the room
looking at the women

and kids standing around
or some sitting at tables
there was music playing
in the background

dance band stuff  
as I was about to wander
back to Auntie again
I saw the girl Elsie

standing by her mother
eyes down
sullen looking
her mother Milly saw me

o look Elsie
there's Benny
is your auntie here Benny?
yes

I said
over there
we just came
I replied

her eyes gawked
to the place I indicated
and she went off
leaving Elsie standing there

following her mother
with her eyes
I said
hello how are you?

she ignored me
and sat down
on a big chair
so that her legs

stuck out at the edge
she had a green coat on
and brown battered shoes
can I sit next to you?

I asked
she looked at me glumly
if you have to
she said

I sat on the chair
beside her
it was big
and my legs

stuck out at the edge
why do you wear
white ankle socks?
she asked me

that's all my aunt has
I said
looking at the white
ankle socks

girls wear white
boys wear black or grey
she said
staring at me

with her cheerless eyes
I like white
I said
white's cissy

are you a cissy?
she said
what's cissy mean?
I asked

she shrugged her shoulders
don't know Mum says it
to Dad sometimes
when they row

when he's home
from Germany
Elsie said
I like your green coat

I said
she looked at her coat
well you can't have it
it's mine

it's the only coat
I've got
she said
do you like my coat?

I asked
no it's too grey
she said
looking away

how's your doll?
I said
she gazed at me dully
sleeping and back home

she replied
how old are you?
she asked
4 years old

be 5 in December
I said
ah yes
I remember

you told me
she said
you talk too much
she added

when are you 5?
I asked
November
she said  

I'm older than you are
so I can boss you
she stared at me
I liked her eyes

even if they were
watery and grim
I like your eyes
I said

she got down
from the chair
(with effort)
and walked off

and I watched go
to find her mother
so I sat there
hoping to talk to some other.