THE HUSH I FEAR MCMLXXI

A YOUTH IN AN ABBEY HAUNTED BY A WOMAN IN 1971

Moorish bell tower
orange brick or yellow
in a different light
I welcomed on seeing
it in sight,

extra ecclesiam
nulla salus
said Augustine
or so read,

red light
at altar end
and a monk
black robed
walked from cloister
to bell tower
stopping in the aisle
genuflecting
then walked off
to the right
in the half light,

dimidium lux
evening moon shone
through high windows
as bell tolled deep and heavy,

altum et grave
tolled bell out of sight
breaking the still silence
of the abbey where I sat
sensing the chill of evening,

�"ια όταν είμαι αδύναμος
τότε είναι που είμαι δυνατός
said Paul so read
in the epistle
he is strong when weak,

her two fruits pressed
against my naked chest
there may I rest said I
with a deep sigh,

soupir profond
taking in the chilled breath
in the air silence
of the abbey church,

Hugh said one
had walked
past his cell
making noise
in dawn's light
meaning me
but I ignored
etre comme le Christ
or so tried,

juger les personnes
et les choses dans
la lumière la plus
favorable à tout moment
said Dom James
quoting Vincent de Paul
in the novice's room
after terce,

she opened up
like a bird her wings
there her nest lay
and I engaged her
as she spoke
no laughter
no joke,

I weeded the graves
of the monks at rest
and moles had tunnelled
along side by the stones,

talpe di nuovo
the Italian monk said
pointing at the mounds
come piccole colline,

I knelt in the choir stalls
eyes closed
trying to capture
God's voice
but just silence,

sicut silentium
a pin could drop
and I'd hear
the deadly hush
I fear.