Passing Trains In Winter Rain

Passing Trains In Winter Rain

A Poem by Terry O'Leary

Adrift within a dismal night,
                    While  trudging down deserted track,
Beyond the bend, a peering light,
                    Illumed alone through vacant black.
Such are the tricks that fate will feign,
                    With passing trains in winter rain.

The darkling sky, sighed, dripping dew,
                    Beguiling to the trek anew. 
In diamond dusk the demons came,
                    There was no dread, there was no claim,
But distant thoughts will entertain
                    On passing trains in winter rain.

Through shadow’s fog a form appeared,
                    Which slowed its pace as morning neared,
A lonesome, meek and wistful thing,
                    A fallen bird with broken wing.
Such are the shapes and weary strain
                    Of passing trains in winter rain.

We paused a moment, side by side
                    Confronting Fate in eventide.
But Passion’s Pains of yesteryear
                     Left youthful Ardor draped in fear -
We had our courses to maintain
                     Like passing trains in winter rain.

I often harken, reaching back,
                    To hear the formless twisted track
Muse “Few have loved though all have toyed
                    Inside this vast and vacant void -
The what and why ? At heart, mundane !”
                    We’re passing trains in winter rain ...

© 2015 Terry O'Leary


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This is a beUtiful example of iambic tetrometer. I thought at first you would use Wordsworth's pattern for Daffodils. Rhe first stanza does use his pattern of ABABCC, but then flips into DDEEFF Normally this would be a sticking point, but it just felt like the train switched tracks. I did wait for it to switch back, but it did not really bother me that the rest is written in rhyming couplets. In the end its a reminder that journies are never the same twice. Each time we make it something changes, so we hold on to those fleeting moments that are unique and special. Lovely poem for the one who is just a memory on the journey of life and time.

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Terry O'Leary

4 Years Ago

Thank you for your kind words!
And for the interesting, informative comment.
I don't k.. read more
JayceeC

4 Years Ago

Writing a metered piece of poetry can be difficult because you almost have to think that way when yo.. read more



Reviews

Whatever it means, this is beautiful and it pleases; therefore, this is a good poem.

Posted 4 Years Ago


Terry O'Leary

4 Years Ago

A very interesting comment!!!
I suppose it means whatever the reader thinks it means or would.. read more
That was fantastic! This piece is smooth and clean, like walking on the surface of water without disturbing its stillness.

Insight.

Posted 4 Years Ago


Terry O'Leary

4 Years Ago

Thank you, Insight!
Insight

4 Years Ago

You are welcome.
Nice job! The timing and rythm of this poem are excellent. Nice metaphors and imagery as well. Thank you for sharing.

Peace, Todd

Posted 4 Years Ago


Terry O'Leary

4 Years Ago

Thank you, Todd...
I like this poem so very much, its perfect rhyme and imagery, well done :)

Posted 4 Years Ago


Terry O'Leary

4 Years Ago

Thank you, Richard!
I like the use of the words "We’re passing trains in winter rain". I enjoyed the story. Allowed the reader to go along with and feeling the emotion and thoughts. The poem left the reader with a separation. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

Posted 4 Years Ago


Terry O'Leary

4 Years Ago

Thank you for your kind words, and comments... and reading my words!!
Coyote Poetry

4 Years Ago

You are welcome.
This is a beUtiful example of iambic tetrometer. I thought at first you would use Wordsworth's pattern for Daffodils. Rhe first stanza does use his pattern of ABABCC, but then flips into DDEEFF Normally this would be a sticking point, but it just felt like the train switched tracks. I did wait for it to switch back, but it did not really bother me that the rest is written in rhyming couplets. In the end its a reminder that journies are never the same twice. Each time we make it something changes, so we hold on to those fleeting moments that are unique and special. Lovely poem for the one who is just a memory on the journey of life and time.

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Terry O'Leary

4 Years Ago

Thank you for your kind words!
And for the interesting, informative comment.
I don't k.. read more
JayceeC

4 Years Ago

Writing a metered piece of poetry can be difficult because you almost have to think that way when yo.. read more
Perhaps this is the point at which the ageing pauses to catch a glimpse at youth as it passes by... this appears to occur on the tracks of the mind with moments of lucidity illuminating through the fog, momentarily allowing the speaker to confront 'fate' before being pulled forward in life, again... or perhaps it's just a tale of waling on the tracks in winter rain... but I really like it... great writing, Terry...

Posted 4 Years Ago


Terry O'Leary

4 Years Ago

A fine 'analysis' of my words... thanks, FT, for reading and writing this wonderful comment!
....................

4 Years Ago

My pleasure, Terry...I really enjoyed this piece and have been back to read it a few times :)
You certainly are gifted Terry. This was a pleasure to read.

Posted 4 Years Ago


This is absolutely beautiful and so well written. Valentine

Posted 4 Years Ago


i like this very much because yes we are all like passing trains - sometimes on the same track and sometimes gliding parallel and sometimes well we have shifted right away ...

your rhythm and flow here is easy to fall into and you pull at emotions that lie dormant ... funnily this reminds me of my prose piece 'i wonder if I can call it escape?' have a read and you will see some similarites ... or not :)))))

Wordman sent this RR to me and I am refreshed that he did XX

Posted 4 Years Ago


Terry O'Leary

4 Years Ago

Thank you for your kind words... and praise!

I have just read your 'i wonder if...'read more
KWP

4 Years Ago

No way ... Similar yes ... Uniquely different yes ... Much love X

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12 Reviews
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Shelved in 2 Libraries
Added on July 3, 2015
Last Updated on July 3, 2015

Author

Terry O'Leary
Terry O'Leary

France



About
a physicist lacking gravity... learning more and more... about less and less... until we finally know... everything about nothing... more..

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