The Golden Weasel

Unfinished Story about four of my characters.

"Pass it to me!" Comcille the marten leaped up and caught the ball just before it passed him.

"Nice catch!" Sunbeam, a quiet dragon, congratulated him. "You've gotten better since last time." She stood up and stretched, disturbing the ruddy-haired tomcat sleeping on her back.

"Geez, Sunbeam, did you have to move?" He gave the dragon an annoyed look.

"Sorry, Pryce," Sunbeam said. "I was getting cramped."

Colmcille dropped from the trees above and wrapped his long orange tail around his paws. 

"You've got to learn to become more relaxed, Pryce," he said. "You're too grumpy and serious." He skittered around on the ground for a little, until Sunbeam stopped him with a paw. 

"And you," she said, "need to learn how to become a little less relaxed. You've got work, you know." She cuffed him over the head teasingly.

"Hey, you guys!" A purple-ish jackal bounded out of the forest. "Guess what I found!"

"What?" Pryce asked, pretending to be interested.

"Treasure!" The jackal's eyes sparkled.

"Oh. I'm sure." Pryce kept his head down. After all, the jackal, who we may call Dark Matter, had a nose for finding less than reputable shops to buy "treasure maps" from.

"No, really!" Dark Matter stamped her paw on the ground. "This time, I'm really not kidding." She opened the map with one paw, holding it down with the other.

TO BE CONTINUED!

Reviews

[Jason Galliger]

This is a very interesting piece, having read most of the Redwall series I'm familiar with stories containing a variety of woodland creatures. I know that this is just a rough start but you might want to consider adding in a little bit more detail about each of the characters (such as their appearance,etc.). But a very good start otherwise.

[Linka and Lirrie]

Hey tessa, here to review you XD Ok soooooooo like one reviewer has already said you should probably work on giving them a little more personality, perhap one of them is grumpy? XD Other then that this could turn out to be a well rounded story, good luck.

[foilist13]

This made me laugh, but in a good way. I very much enjoy the characters, but I'm currently upset with you for not having more there and making me wait.

Unlike monsieur Galliger, I am less interested in their descriptions, and more interested in the differences in their personalities. Right now in this little paragraph, they all seem to follow the same basic formula. Happy, close friends, all having a mischievous side, and that may ultimately be an accurate description. I would simply like something, perhaps in their speech patters, that differentiates them as characters, other than their physical forms.

[Ghost Dancer]

Okay, thank you! I'll work on describing them more.