If I Wasn't Me

A poem I wrote up about recent events in my life.

If I wasn't me,

but you were still you,

if the stars and the saints were the only to see,

how I ran down the streets to you,

then I' go there now.

I'd knock on your door,

breathlessly tell you all 'bout how,

of you I need more.

If I wasn't me,

if I was someone else,

then I could be free,

to give you myself.

I'd tell you how your smile act's get's to me,

and how the beauty of if nearly kills me every time,

I would explain why I lied,

and how at loving you I fail.

Because you deserve better,

the me and this crummy love letter

If I knocked on your door,

what would I say?

I'd say that I love you,

since before yesterday.

I love how you smile,

and the way that you walk,

and all the silly things about which we've talked.

I'd apologize for my lie,

and explain what I meant,

tell you everything, pray my time was worth spent.

I'd try not to giggle, blush or look down,

tell you how I never again want to see you feeling down.

I'd pour out my heart.

And then back down the porch,

I'd walk away with a smile,

Cause I fooled both.

But if I did that

I'd hate to be me.

The girl who cut's and hurts with simplicity.