Deaths Chaotic Peace

Deaths Chaotic Peace

A Poem by The Haunted
"

Creepy, but I hope you enjoy it.

"

Her lips uttered a harmonic rhythm of death,
And her eyes reflected the dark sorrow seeping from her soul. 
She waited as the moment enticed her,
Watched as the shadows creeped around her throat,
Their unforgivable grasp,
Forcing the remaining light from her body. 
The cuts penetrated deeper,
until cold blood covered her convulsing body,
And saliva leaked from the corners of her mouth
She was being asphyxiated by her own pain. 
She spat all remaining sanity into the wind, 
A mix of blood and inhuman, gargled sounds. 
Their hands led hers to the dagger beside her body, 
And hissed as she plunged it into her chest. 
In a fluid motion they penetrated her skin, 
Leaving darkness in her veins. 
Blood erupted from her chest and poured into her lungs. 
Each breath left her choking,
As bloody saliva coated her throat. 
She could feel them moving, 
Feel their black void. 
They burned her soul and watched the fire through her eyes,
Until it died and left only vacant darkness 
And with that, they left the way they came, 
Through empty song and vast uncertainty. 
The gargling stopped 
The choking stopped 
The breathing stopped 
She had found her peace


© 2015 The Haunted


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Featured Review

This is absolutely amazing, as I already told you. It matches the discription for the contest I just started and you have a huge chance of winning. You are an amazing writer especially considering what you've been through. Your emotions really come out here and I think anyone who been through any type of traumatic suffering is able to relate to this poem. Amazingly well penned and I can't wait for you to post more!!!

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

Horrific and powerful penetrating to the depth of our fears. Excellent.................

Posted 9 Years Ago


Powerful use of description.
"The gargling stopped
The choking stopped
The breathing stopped
She had found her peace "
Sometime death can be peace. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

Posted 9 Years Ago


This was terrifying. You've depicted the whole scene very powerfully and it is both touching as well as frightening.

The name fits the poem perfectly well. Though one forms a thousand conjectures from the name at first, when the poem is read, the title is perfect. :)

Her lips uttered a harmonic rhythm of death,
A really interesting and abrupt start to he poem. However, I think if you replaced ''.....a harmonic....'' with ''......the harmonic.....'' that would perhaps be more suitable. :)

Watched as the shadows creeped around her throat,
Creepy line but beautifully written. :)

The cuts penetrated deeper,
until cold blood covered her convulsing body,
And saliva leaked from the corners of her mouth
She was being asphyxiated by her own pain.
The scene is most gruesome and made me feel sick (take it in a good sense because it means the poem did its job of scaring and nauseating me well :D). You've written the lines remarkably well. :)
She spat all remaining sanity into the wind,
A mix of blood and inhuman, gargled sounds.
The lines are amazing. They portray approaching death powerfully and clearly.
Their hands led hers to the dagger beside her body,
And hissed as she plunged it into her chest.
So she committed suicide. An unexpected twist brought about very dramatically and written exceptionally well. This horrified me more than anything else so yeah, well done. :)

They burned her soul and watched the fire through her eyes,
These are eerie and sinister lines but nevertheless powerful and captivating. :)

And with that, they left the way they came,
Through empty song and vast uncertainty.
The lines are written nicely and make a deep effect of the uncertain and hidden nature of death. It clearly demonstrates that nobody knows when, why, where or how they're going to die. Beautifully written! :)

The gargling stopped
The choking stopped
The breathing stopped
She had found her peace.
The concluding lines left me speechless. Brilliant! :)

A really great poem on the whole. I can see that you have a great talent for scaring the s**t out of people and portraying realities of life at the same time. Way to go! Keep writing! :)

Posted 9 Years Ago


It is an amazing poem, well written, and just over all great!

Posted 9 Years Ago


This is absolutely amazing, as I already told you. It matches the discription for the contest I just started and you have a huge chance of winning. You are an amazing writer especially considering what you've been through. Your emotions really come out here and I think anyone who been through any type of traumatic suffering is able to relate to this poem. Amazingly well penned and I can't wait for you to post more!!!

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This was lovely, even though it was also horrific :)
I'd love to hear more

Posted 9 Years Ago



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6 Reviews
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Added on March 25, 2015
Last Updated on March 25, 2015
Tags: death, peace, elegant, Chaotic

Author

The Haunted
The Haunted

Canada



About
I'm just a lost soul in a broken world, but then again, aren't we all? I write not only as a passion, but as an escape for myself as well as other. Message me if you ever want to talk, and feel free t.. more..