Nutshell

An explanation to my absence.

NUTSHELL

Broken buildings

Empty roads

What’s left of me.

 

My vision speaks

I cannot hear

A silent prayer

No one listens.

 

I’ll scream, I’ll cry

I’ll ask you why

I praise, I bow

From then, till now

You have my soul, you have my heart

A loose connection.

 

How funny, I undress myself in front of strangers…

I am a brainless little girl I tell my family. A nun.

My skin runs thin. There’s nothing within.

Or at least that’s how I hope they see me.

 

If you were to know what troubles I have…

I simply could not. I could not upset you like that.

 

My beauty recedes.

Is it the communication gap?

Am I sitting in silence?

 

The voices in my head, my playmates, have shushed.

HE took that from me.

I thought he would stay.

My love ran away.

 

And with him, he took my self-worth.

What I gained from him, and my life savings.

The last of the honey left, all used up.

Nothing to feed myself with…

 

I shut it off.

Breaking sires does that to you.

I lost a lot of blood.

A walking body. Soul so lost, so poured out,

It was hurting to the point where I couldn’t feel.

 I couldn’t feel.

It would be a mistake to.

So I shut it off.

 

Standing here, I held that beauty.

I felt no fascination.

You could have left for all I cared.

That’s all I thought. Holding her innocent form.

What was I saying?

I brought her here. I watched her grow.

Is that really how disconnected I’d grown?

 

Love’s so distant and obscure…Remains the cure…

 

Who was my true love? Where are my bones?

I dress myself, just to undress again.

Do you like my dance?

Does confusion ever end?

Is my home really burnt?

Did I ever have a home to begin with?

 

But as long as I am in pain, I might as well pretty myself up.

It seems my destination was always to entertain.

My pain is my pain.

It won’t change to please you.

My taste is my taste.

If you like my wine, drink it.

                   I will keep s                  i              n                 n                  .

                                 
                               p            n              i                    g

Enjoying the changing colors is your choice.

I will leave you with that.

Come for more, if you please!

Author's Note

A lot of references here. Any part in particular you do not understand, I will be happy to explain. :)

Reviews

[SHEEMA HUQ]

A dancer in a derelict, slum area, exploring her life through her exploited body, her recent past, her associates, those who have exploited or affected her? The mind boggles with questions, which is a compliment to you and your unique approach in this poem, well done Siren.

[Blue Ivory]

I appreciate your kind words :)

[Not Your Typical New Yo..]

This is breath taking, jaw dropping piece you have here. There's really no words, for me at least, just to review it. You got me speechless dear

[Blue Ivory]

Well, I'm glad I can have that effect on my readers :)

[Leslie Philibert]

this has a nice experimental character, lots of colour, lots of fonts, unusual..like it.

[Blue Ivory]

Thank you, I'm glad you do.

[Infinite hexes]

I love the colouring. God its soooo creative! You are sooo talented. You keep on surprising me, and keep on getting better. The sky probably isn't your limit, you don't have limits. You are already flying way too high!

[Blue Ivory]

I love you

[Nia Hope]

Such an amazing read. I really enjoyed this awesome job! :)

[Blue Ivory]

Thank you :)

[Mark]

love and stripping? I dunno if I got it all, it's kaleidoscopic stream of consciousness. A whirlwind ride I'm not sure I really want explained! The word that is stretched out.. looks like 'sinnpnig' is that what you intended?

[Blue Ivory]

I see I've stopped making sense to you :P
I'm calling this nutshell, because it's basically everything that happened in my life in a nutshell, the whole time I wasn't here. And no, the word is "spinning".

[Mark]

Spinning yes thst is a good word.

[UnderCompulsion]

Very intense poem, you put every little peace of yourself in it, every problem and question that you have. I think this poem represents you, in all your colors, but all you feel is just a body shell without happiness and love to fill in. This is a very interesting but great poem, in my opinion maybe even the best of all your poems. I really love this sentences :" Love’s so distant and obscure…Remains the cure…"

[Blue Ivory]

Lol that's a line from All By Myself by Celine Dion. I put that in there, cuz I found myself relating to that song at many points, even if I never really liked the song. It was sad to admit that was how I felt :P But I'm all cured now :3 And really? I always figured The Snow Queen was my biggest success... Let's see how many reviews this one gets!

[Coyote Poetry]

I was a Soldier for 15 years. I was single and I like to roam the dark places. I was studying people without knowing I was. I can feel the struggle to find solid ground and logic to life in the poem. The poem is amazing. A wild journey with thoughts and questions. Good to have you back. I love your poetry. Filled with life and energy. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[Blue Ivory]

It's reasons like these why I have such respect for you. I'm grateful that you enjoy my work. I look forward to reading your poetry again.

[Baby Ricochet]

Bad boys will do that...................................

[Frieda P]

You have my mind racing all over the place with this one Siren, it certainly hits you upside the head and takes no prisoners. Seems to me you've been broken, try to fill those cracks with gold as the Japanese do with their bowls. I'm not usually one for all the colors but I see why you used them here.

I will keep 'singing or sinning', I didn't quite catch that. Muchly enjoyed this one! Brava.

[Blue Ivory]

That's good advice! I will start the hunt for gold immediately xD I love using colors, lol. I think I'm attracted to them :P And that's "spinning". See, if you look up and down alternately, reading the word makes your head spin. See what I did there? And thank you. Your reviews are much appreciated. :)

[Frieda P]

Very clever my friend, hard to see when your own head is spinning already. lol Glad to see you back and to read you, stick around will ya? ;-)

[Blue Ivory]

I'll do my best :3

[Frieda P]

Remember that Nike commercial, Just Do It. ;-) x