Monster

Monster

I live under the roof of a monster

A monster of my very own blood

He keeps me safe and harms my loved ones

Its poison is slowly driving me insane

 

He is half the reason I was born

Half his traits lie within me

It’s possible that someday I’ll be him

Or perhaps, I am just his new beginning

 

He has suffered a terrible life.

So to me, his nicotine problems are justified

He has a mind that could conquer the world

But maybe, deep down, he was terrified?

 

Tell me, how could you be so cruel?

You hurt an animal less than 3 months old

You must lack conscience, for you have no control

I see what you do to my mother dear

 

Tell me, could you not find a better way?

Did you not have a better outlet?

Or were things different before my time

Preventing you from proper therapy?

 

But sadly, no one understands you.

Like me, you have nobody to confide to.

If I was of your generation, I’d have your respect

And I could have been the one to save you.

 

Your life could have been beautiful

You could have been happy

Your lungs could have been clean

You’d no longer suffocate

 

I suppose you are the origin

Of my need to save a broken soul

It stings me that I cannot help you

But some things in life just can’t be undone

 

I still pray that you be happy

Pray that your suffering may be gone

Some night, I hope, you will sleep peacefully

And wake up smiling like you deserve to

 

We’ve disappointed each other a million times

But like you to me, I could never hate you.

Those feelings, they’re hard for me to express

But when you read this, you’ll be crying too.

Author's Note

Another one of my works from when I was 16. My father tends to be abusive to anyone but me and that bothers me at times, but the fact that he is such a good father to me and he loves me so much is what took me 2 years to publish this. Yes 16 was a difficult time. I'm glad those times are over. And though I still have issues, I'm glad I have more of an understanding of things now.

Reviews

[Carl Drake Barnard]

Hehe wow now this IS what I call poetry emotion!! Well done!!!!! :)Really loved the form and the colours and well everything hehe. And you were 16!? Wow that guy sure did leave an impression hehe. Hoped you moved on, for having such emotion is really heart-breaking... All and all really a fantastic poem hehe. And have to say such raw feelings... I could feel every word OH and love the Heading also!! :) Fantastico!!
-Carl Drake Barnard :)

[Blue Ivory]

Well, I'm glad you liked it, sweety :3

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

It is amazing how different people can be...how we can all come from different walks of life, and yet we find common ground in certain things. This is one of those things that I think many people have experienced and you had the courage to put it to paper. I applaud you for that.

[Blue Ivory]

Thanks a lot.

[Not Your Typical New Yo..]

A lot of emotion was put into this. I'm sorry to hear about your father. Nevertheless, this was a very good read, and I'm glad you publish it.

[Blue Ivory]

Thanks, sweety :)

[Reeti]

I'm sorry to know of what agony you went through. It seems to be a brutality when aggression comes from someone one loved.

The sufferer, i.e. the narrator ( i refrain to say 'you'), is impelled to feel disorientation and yet, perseveres the trauma well. This has been portrayed in your poem well in an epistle way of writing or perhaps, like in a journal. The narrator's voice reflects selflessness and a solicitous attitude which many people lack especially in difficult times.

[Blue Ivory]

Well I'm flattered :P Thanks.

[Pryde Foltz]

I think, yes, he is a product of his time where men were told to toughen up and not weep and not talk about their grief. Add to this abuse they may have also suffered… yeah, I feel you. Brave write.

[Blue Ivory]

Thanks, I'm glad you think so :)

[Baby Ricochet]

pretty intense poem Siren

[MsJewel]

What a difficult situation for you. Bravo for publishing this and for looking back with love and understanding. It takes a strong person to be able to do that.

:) Julie

[Blue Ivory]

Thanks :) Appreciate it.

[Mark]

I think this shows a real depth of character. To love and not to hate is always the best answer. Even when it can not change things completely, just the act or declaration of love makes a small change for the good. Excellent write, touched my heart.

[Blue Ivory]

Thank you so much.

[R.A. Youngblood]

This is full of emotions, telling us about difficult situation. Yeah, I know how you feel, I had a hard life too, still have, but it's easier than before, same bullshit man, same bullshit. It sucks. I like the flow and you know how to express your feelings very well. Wonderfully penned, thanks for sharing! :D

[Blue Ivory]

You're amazing too sweety. I guess it's bullshitty lives that mostly drives artists to brilliance.

[R.A. Youngblood]

Thanks. Exactly, many poets learned to release their negative emotions through writing, because they can't find the other way, and that's why they're so good, that's why we are so f*****g good.

[Blue Ivory]

Mhm :3 So true!

[Leslie Philibert]

A good write about a difficult situation, I hope your father will one day reflect that all have the right to
be treated with respect..

[icelandicblue]

Ultimately we can't save anyone they must save themselves. We are always looking from without no matter how well we know someone and often the person themselves do not understand what motivates them unless they seek help. It is a sad truth and it is a sad poem of love and wasted lives.