mom could you wash my back this once...

why can't i express myself?
its so frustrating but i can't seem to get a single word out of my mouth.
i'd like to tell you whats on my mind but i simply can't.
am i scared of you? of what i might say?
of how you'd react?
of how differently you may perceive me now?
I'm actually terrified.
There i said it. I hate it.
I hate you, I hate myself and i hate my pathetic attempt at poetry.
Why is it so confusing?
The one thing i should be sure of are my emotions towards things no?
You hurt me so. Maybe I do the same to you.
Why must you be so mean, so cruel, so hurtful?
You aren't even aware of it.
I want you to love me. Not toss me aside because i've grown up.
I may still be a child to you but not your child.
I am this strange person invading your home.
I don't belong. I suffocate.
I escalate. I'm too much or not enough.