What's Wrong With My Closet?

What's Wrong With My Closet?

A Poem by Bradley
"

Children's rhyme. Read it with a little bounce.

"
Here's a tale of a tail
That I saw in my closet.
It was green, it was mean,
It was dirty and it knows it.
Slither slather -
Wither wather!

My eyes got big,
And next I saw
Some feet in my closet.
Under my clothes, the little gnomes
Were smelly and they know it.
Sniffle snaffle -
Wiffle waffle!

My eyes were big,
My nose got scrunched,
And next I heard
Some laughter in my closet.
The fairies took joy with all my toys,
They're messy and they know it.
Giggle gaggle -
Wiggle waggle!

My eyes were big,
My nose was scrunched,
My ears turned red,
And then I felt
Something grimy in my closet.
Goblin crumbs got on my thumbs,
That's icky and they know it.
Sticky stacky -
Wicky wacky!

My eyes were big,
My nose was scrunched,
My ears were red,
My hands made fists,
I had enough!
I told my mom
I couldn't clean my closet!

Her eyes got big!
Her nose got scrunched!
Her ears got red!
Her hands made fists!

 . . . and then I cleaned my closet.

© 2013 Bradley


Author's Note

Bradley
Wrote this by request...kinda.

Revision 1: Added the 4th stanza, slightly adjusted the end to make it the narrator's choice to clean their closet after seeing mom's reaction. Also renamed.

My Review

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Reviews

This is well thought out and perfectly executed. I laughed several times throughout which was nice considering the topic. Brilliant work.

Posted 10 Years Ago


Very wild atmosphere, with great imagery. It had so many funny things going on. I giggled at the images your poem created in my head lol Nicely done, and a poem well written.

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 10 Years Ago


Bradley

10 Years Ago

Thanks, this was my first ever attempt at a children's rhyme. If you giggled, then I must have done .. read more
Tiffany Boles

10 Years Ago

For a first try, I think you did a spectacular job :D!

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Stats

445 Views
2 Reviews
Added on October 7, 2013
Last Updated on October 9, 2013
Tags: Tail, Closet, slither, gnome, smelly, dirty, sniffle, laughter, fairies, toys, messy, mom

Author

Bradley
Bradley

MN



About
I am a husband and father of four. more..

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