Cow

 Too many times

I've found myself

Twiddling my thumbs

In exams of importance.

 

This comes after

Months of trying

To milk the system

Like the defenceless cow.

 

Perhaps this system

Mirrors real life

In a much more

Accurate fashion than

 

My initial perception.

Who am I now?

The farmer or

The cow? Defencelessly sitting

 

While everything

I have produced

Is taken from me

And left to go sour.

Reviews

[Ron Hogan]

Some things I don't like: some of your phrasing is a bit... "plain" for my tastes, but what distracts me as a reader is that some of your lines are much longer than others in a weird way that distracts from what you're trying to say. Typically I find there are two rules to line breaks: what to break after something important or after completing a thought, OR, break in such a way as to keep the lines even. It looks like you tried to do the latter but then gave up and did the former.

What I do like, though, is the ending. It's a great setup, and I love the metaphorical "slap in the face" style. You go out in a bang, and that's ALWAYS my favorite kind of poetry.