Sorry isn't something i shoud feel

I keep saying sorry like it’s my fault.

Because everything is my fault.

I keep saying sorry like it will bring you back.

I know it wont bring you back but I like to think it will.

Sorry as in I’m the one that needs to be blamed.

There's nothing worthy of any blame for  what has  happened.

I can't scrub the guilt from my skin, showers don't run hot enough.

This constant screaming needs to stop because I don't want to be shameful anymore.

You are the one who should be shameful. You walked in and ripped my body apart and expected me to mop up the bleeding.

I am not sorry for recovering.

I wont continue to blame myself anymore.

My body can't take the wreckage.

I am not sorry for changing into more than what you obviously deserve. 

When talking my tongue will no longer cling to my teeth because you are not there to hold it in bondage.

I am definitely not sorry for disbelieving your whiskey breathe like so many others.

I warned the others of how much they would have to apologize and succumb to the internal bruising you would leave on there hearts. I definitely feel the one you gave me.

I am not sorry for writing this, or for loving myself like you couldn't.

I am sure as the sky is blue, not sorry for saying goodbye.

Author's Note

I'm pretty new to writing I know I need to work on flow I hope to improve, but if you have any tips that would be great.