Regrets

Just a little Flash Fiction for the world.

    Think.

            Search.

          

                  Fight.

For Khailen Caesar, that's what her thoughts consisted of. She didn't care about herself, she only cared about those on her team. Those who were under her control. She didn't need a reason. She just wanted the job to be done and done right. There is no hesitation in battle. That's what she always said.

Under pressure, she was logical. She had everything in place. She had a plan. She always did. She just wished she didn't have to be logical now. She doesn't want to be, but she can't just walk out of the room. That's low . . . even for a Colonel. 

She had watched it happen, how the unit she sent out was bombed and raided. It's not how she planned for things to go. This was meant to be a stealth mission. She had been leading them through their comms from HQ. Yet, somehow, the weight is falling on her shoulders and it hurts. This shouldn't hurt, but it does because this was her idea. She proposed the mission. Now she can't help but blame herself.

The world seems to be slow, just for a moment. She wants to think there was a mole in her unit, but the more she considers it, it doesn't seem right. There had to have been a flaw. She must've missed a detail, something. What didn't she see? What wasn't considered? She stands for a moment, her hand hovering over the earpiece that's wrapped around her lobe. Then she moves.

She yanks the wire off, throwing it down. She goes to the nearest desk, slamming her hands down, startling the person sitting in front of her. She speaks, her voice cold and stern.

"Get the files out." She demands.

"Wha-" The person starts.

"The files. Mission plans. The maps. All of it. Get. It. Out!" She repeats, shoving the desk back and storming towards the door. "I want it all in my office by 1400!" 

A brief "Yes, Ma'am" followed before she walked out and slammed the door shut. She was upset. Anyone could see it. Her hands were shaking and she was stressed. She never makes mistakes. She can't. Not again. She's meant to be the perfect Colonel. That's what her role is. Right? Right.

She eventually enters her office, slamming that door shut too. She locks it. She storms over to her desk, swiping her arms across it. Everything falls. A picture frame breaks. Khailen stares at it for a moment. Hesitantly, she takes a deep breath and she sits down onto her knees. 

"Calm…" She mutters to herself. "You're being dramatic." 

Khailen shifts her hands out, picking up the shards of glass. Her thoughts run and spiral out. She could've done something different, but what? Her plans had always worked. Always been perfect. She was always perfect.

Presentable.

Cautious.

Reliable.

'Yeah,' she thinks to herself, 'not anymore.' Who is she if her subordinates can't trust her? A nobody. Khailen is a nobody. She stands, glass in hand and she dumps it into her trash bin. Leaning over her desk, she groans.

"What happened?" She mumbles. Her head is pounding. Khailen is over thinking.

The knock on her door startles her, and she flinches. She looks back at the door before walking over. She unlocks it and pulls it open, finding herself to be faced with the soldier she sent for the files.

"Ma'am." The soldier says.

"Private." Khailen responds. She takes the files, glancing at the manila folders. She glances back up. "Dismissed."

The private nods and leaves. She closes the door again. She makes her way to her desk, setting down the files before scanning through the first one. Something had to have been written wrong. Something has to be missing, but nothing is.

After three hours of consistent reading and analysis, she shoves the papers away. Nothing. She had it all right, but how did the enemy know where they were headed? What they were doing? How? She has no idea.

"What kind of f*****g information was leaked!" Khailen shouts.

She's regretting it now. Sending out the unit, coming up with the mission, just… everything. She's regretting everything.

Until…

She sees…

The…

Reaching out, she lifts a paper up. Plans? For what? She flips the paper over, examining it. Almost instantly, a light bulb lights up in her head. No.. She can't… It's not..

She can. She will. After all, revenge is a dish best served cold.

Khailen looks up, her eyes locking on her door. She hesitantly reaches for the radio hooked

to her shoulder. Pressing a button, she leans her head over, eyes back on the paper, voice silent.

"Lieutenant…" She mutters. 

"Send for Ramirez."

Author's Note

Any constructive criticism is appreciated! <3