Passion II (Dante & Jess) Part 1

It's funny how social media platforms can cause so many problems in relationship.

Another day, another fight with Jess, it has happened so often over the three years we've been together now that I'm not even surprised when they pop up, it'll be the same crap that usually cause us to fight, who's this girl liking all your pictures on Instagram, well who's this guy favoriting all your tweets, the funny thing is we both knew neither one of us would ever cheat, it just something about us fighting that connects us, maybe it's both of us always wanting to be right about something, or maybe it's the earth shattering make up sex that we have after we've made up, I'll go out on a limp and say it's a little of both, but regardless of our small little fights, we love each other has much as two people could, we"re imperfectly perfect for each other.

Jess was staying at my condo for the next week until her lease on her apartment was up and she would then move in with me, I was in the kitchen making dinner, mostly because Jess can't really cook, but I'm an absolute slob and Jess is a neat freak so while im cooking, Jess would busy off somewhere cleaning probably cussing under her breath asking herself how is it possible I cant understand the concept of putting my clothes in the hamper instead of all over the floor when i get through with them. I was finishing up the sauce I was making to go with the pasta I had cooked, when i noticed Jess's phone vibrating, not ringing just vibrating, usually her phone is always on ring, I know this cause she has the most annoying ringtone, It's some blaring bell that would make your ears bleed, she claims it's so she doesn't mess a message, or call, or notification, so why is her phone on vibrate all of a sudden.

Eventually the better side of me that knows nothing good comes on snooping lost out and I went over to look at the phone, I thought it would be nothing just some notification from Instagram (Jess had abit of a selfie addiction) add that on top of the fact that she's unimaginably beautiful and her Instagram notifications stay quite active with comments and likes, but that has never bothered me, I know she does it for a little extra attention but I know who she is, so I don't worry about it. So i reach over for the phone and turn it over since it was face down and I see the message preview notification, I open it up , yeah I know I should know better but like I said curiosity got the best of me, but you know that saying, and I guess my nine lives were up. I see a message from some dude named Greg..."For a goody goody, you sure are a naughty little thing in bed".

Saying I was mad was an understatement, I'm sure I had steam coming off of my head,I made a beeline for Jess who was in the back of the condo cleaning the bedroom, with thoughts flying around my mind like a carousel pushed into overdrive, "how could I be so f*****g native", "Oh she just wants a little attention", "I know who she is, she would never cheat on me", "this has to be some kind of f*****g prank"...I burst through the bedroom door almost tearing the hinges off of it, Jess jumped up scared not knowing what was going on, What the hell Dante?, Who in the f**k is Greg and why in the f**k is he talking about how goddamn naughty you are in the bedroom? Whose bedroom Jess huh? Whos f*****g bedroom Jess?, I was so angry I didn't notice that I had thrown the phone at the wall shattering it until after it happened, I had never been this mad before I could feel every muscle in my body tightening up with every word I said.

Jess look petrified, she had never seen me this angry, we'd had our fights in the past but never about something this serious, I could see in her eyes just how scared she was to say anything at all. She started, It's not what... Jess I swear to god if you say it's not what you think, she caught herself realizing that it was no point in trying to lie, or even mentioning the fact that i looked at her messages, she could see I was past the limit, and even though I was angrier than I'd ever been in my life, I never thought of putting my hands on Jess......Ok I'm lying, never in my life had I wanted to hit a woman so bad, but it was because of how unbelievably hurt I was, this was the love of my life, I know we had our problems but never in the million years did I think she was capable of this, betraying me to this degree, but regardless I knew I'd never go so far as to hit her, but at that moment, I don't think Jess knew that. Then the tears started.

Fine, I cheated on you ok, is that what you want to hear?..., she said with tears strolling down her cheeks, What kind of stupid question stupid is that, of course that's not what I want to f*****g hear. GET THE F**K OUT!, she looked at me with a blank face for a second almost surprised by what I just said, WHAT WAIT!? listen to me...,LISTEN TO WHAT JESS?, my voice echoing heavy throughout the condo, listen to you try and lie to me some more? I can't believe I was so f*****g native to believe that you weren't capable of something like this, I f*****g trus.....I TRUSTED YOU!!, for a moment i forgot all about my anger, thrown completely off by what was just said, What the hell do you mean you trusted me? I'm not the one f*****g cheating! So y...ou ne...ver fuc..king che..ated on me ever? every word breaking slightly as she struggled to get them out, what the f**k are you talking about Jess? I've been nothing but faithful since the day I met....MARCH 16TH, THREE YEARS AGO!, THREE WEEK AFTER WE FIRST STARTED DATING!!!, once again my anger reciting slightly, trying to figure out what she could possibly be talking abou....s**t....I had forgot all about it, all about her, Jennifer.

I had met Jess and Jennifer at the same time, knowing Jennifer maybe a week longer than Jess, Me and Jennifer had a connection nothing very deep, mostly physical but still a connection none the less and when I had finally decided to make Jess my girlfriend, I still was talking to Jennifer, I was young, stupid and wanted to eat my cake and have it too, So about three weeks into being with Jess, Jennifer showed up to my apartment one night without any warning, for all she knew Jess could have been spending the night that night, but she was visiting some girlfriends out of state, I let her in, I officially told her I was dating Jess and that i couldn't do anything with her, but if Jennifer was good at anything it was knowing how to play on my weakness, a few pleas about having one last time together, wrapping her arms around my head and slowly grinding her body against me was more than enough to convince the brain in my pants, and we fucked, afterwards she left and I never talked to her after that, I had completely forgotten about her up until this very moment, this very second....but how did Jess know about her?

Yeah you remember now?! For the first time that night i was speechless. You didn't know I knew about her but after I had come back from visiting my friends and was at your place, you left your phone on the coffee table when you went to go get food, and you got a text from her, she must of known you'd erased her number because she actually said who it was and talked about how she knew that you guys couldn't be together but was happy she got to spend one last night with you. At this point all the anger I had built up had left me, I never thought about the fact the Jess could have read that message, because she wasn't the type of girl to go through my phone, which was one of the reasons I had decided to go out with her, Jess I.....DON'T JESS ME!, her tears has stopped but not completely replaced with more anger, SO DON'T YOU TALK TO ME ABOUT TRUST!, because you broke that and my heart long before I broke yours, I never forgot about that, and no matter how much time had gone by, she paused, it would always keep stabbing me deep down in my heart, no matter how hard I'd try to forget it, I couldn't...

Ok your right Jess... what I did then was fucked up, but i was young and stupid and I'm not making an excuse for what I did, I own up to it, But I grew up, but you wait three years to what? get revenge on me by f*****g some other dude, my anger slowly building back up thinking of how long she was possibly planning to f**k some other dude just to get revenge. NO, that's not what happened!, well why don't you explain it Jess because that's sure as hell how it looks. I told you I never forgot about it, but I didn't ever think to get revenge or cheat back, I knew you had been faithful since then, so I let it go, but a two weeks ago i was browsing Instagram on your account and saw that she liked one of your pictures and I immediately assumed you were talking to her again. So I started replying to this guy Greg that had been sending me messages on twitter and decided to meet up with him, I was devastated at the thought that you would do that to me again, even after all this time and everything we have been through...

Jess are you serious right now? i didn't even know she liked one of my pictures, I'm not following her and as far as I know she's not following me, why would I jeopardize what we have for some girl I use to know? I don't know and I didn't want to know, I just knew i was angry and hated you at that moment and wanted you to hurt as much as I did, So i met up with Greg and....I don't want to know the f*****g details Jess, I can't f*****g believe this, all you had to do was f*****g come and talk to me, and I would have told you nothing was going on, but instead you just decided f**k it, and without then attempting to talk to me just go and f*****g cheat, so what you and this Greg dude are together now? NO! it was just a one night stand thing, i haven't talked to him since, he has sent me some text since then but I haven't returned any of them, nor have I wanted to, I hated myself after I did it, I thought id feel better getting some revenge but I didn't, because really I just wanted you, but hated you so much...

I was at a lose for words, how could this happen?, how could me and the woman I loved be here at this point? confessing to cheating on each other. Regardless of when and how the cheating happened, they happened and we're both just as guilty as the other. Jess I can't....I can't deal with this, I need to time to think and some real time away from you....I'm sorry, I just, I was so hurt,  I know Jess but you didn't have a reason to be hurt this time, just leave please, I need some time. Can't we just....Jess please... and with that Jess started to leave but before she left, at the door, not even turning around through muffled tears I heard...I know you won't believe this and if I were you I wouldn't either but that doesn't change that fact that, I Love You. I hated hearing those words, it was almost as if they were taunting me and I hated them even more because I knew I felt the same even after everything that had just gone down, I knew I still loved Jess with all my heart but how could we possibly ever move on from this.

To Be Continued...