"Praying Faithfully Through The Confusion"

A Villanelle

 

 

I have opened my eyes to the worldly delusion,

Following the voice which guides my conscience within;

Realizing just bits and pieces of the confusion.

 

Wondering when my life will find truth in this allusion,

Knowing that faith alone hence will not save me therein,    

I have opened my eyes to the worldly delusion,

 

Freewill is left to choose sense for thoughts profusion,  

Like, a Top turned loose to the hand of a child, I spin;

Realizing just bits and pieces of the confusion.

 

Salvation is equal with exaltation; fusion  

Of  devotion and works help plead remission of sin,

I have opened my eyes to the worldly delusion,

 

Therefore giving my heart some meaning in diffusion,

Seeking truth to all the mutter in the world herein;

Realizing just bits and pieces of the confusion.

 

I pray for guidance so I won't see disillusion,

Sensing to perceive the light for insight to begin;

I have opened my eyes to the worldly delusion,

Realizing just bits and pieces of the confusion.

 

2011 © T.G. Hopkins III

Author's Note

My second Villanelle

Reviews

[Emily B]

I don't know if you ever met AK around this place. He was an awesome person. Not a popular writer, the way OT is or some others. Sometimes he felt like his words weren't heard at all. He and his wife were drowned on vacation last fall and I miss his voice terriblly some days.

I went to his page when I wanted to read words like these. So many times I've gone back to talk to him, knowing he's not here any more. But I knew he would be happy to hear the things I had to tell.

You were entirely right to send these words to me today. My best friend sent me a strange email about free will at 1:30 this morning. It's going to be a day of tears. But that's ok, because that's part of the lesson. And I am glad to learn it.

Thank you.

[Angela]

Oh my god, "A top turned loose to the hand of a child I spin?" One of the most powerful statements I have ever read. My heart aches at this statement. The search for meaning in the madness. Only one review tonight. That line will haunt my sleep!

[Adelia Alighieri]

The last stanza is beautiful, it completes your poem. Well done!

[OT]

the -sions are needed in order to adhere to the very strict scheme - you wouldn't have been able to complete the poem (using the first refrain as -ion) without so many - so I don't think that can be judged! and I think you chose a tricky refrain which is why some are finding it a little forced perhaps - most would have picked a subtler sound - sea, free etc - so the ions are more noticeable - but I like that you've gone for a different approach on it!! before purists attack - no it's not in meter but it adheres to the form and is well done in my opinion!! nice!

[George Love]

Nicely done, but I felt too much effort in making things ryhme.

[Tate Morgan]

nOW THIS I LIKE A LOT IT IS EASIER TO READ THE MELODY AND FLOW OF THE PIECE i LIKE IT

[Marie Harrison]

Like, a Top turned loose to the hand of a child, I spin;
Realizing just bits and pieces of the confusion.
I love this line. It's very beautiful. Great job! I'm still going to try one Tommy.

[G. K. Bostic]

I noted that someone commented about all the '-usion" rhymes, but that is what is required in this form, and I think you did it quite well. My favorite lines of the poem were, "Like, a Top turned loose to the hand of a child, I spin;
Realizing just bits and pieces of the confusion. " Great use of the simile to show your spinning with confusion. I just wrote a triolet, posted it, and did RRs, but after reading it again, think it needs to be redone completely. These forms are more difficult than they look. This one is very well done and very much enjoyed!

[Kelley]

Great write Tommy thanks for sharing.

Kelley

[Su' Nacnetaf]

I really enjoyed reading this, and I think I will re-read it more than one time, for I want to understand it fully. However, I do have to point out that it seemed a little too forced with all the "-usion" rhymes. Nevertheless that doesn't make this less than a great poem. Excellent writing.